fix: edited five and six

chapters/chapter-003.md

@@ -2,9 +2,9 @@
 title: Home Early
 age: 14 years
 summary: >
-    Unable to visit the burnt remains of the family's workshop, Linsan comes home to find her father work in depression. He had given up working on instruments and switched to writing articles about music. She goes into the attic to put some books away and finds Palisis in a corner, returned after Marin's death. She plays it, but then finds out that no one had ever played it before.
+    Unable to visit the burnt remains of the family's workshop, Linsan comes home to find her depressed father. He had given up working on instruments and switched to writing articles about music. She goes into the attic to put some books away and finds Palisis in a corner, returned after Marin's death. She plays it, but then finds out that no one had ever played it before.
 teaser: >
-    Unable to visit the burnt remains of the family's workshop, Linsan comes home to find her father work in depression.
+    Unable to visit the burnt remains of the family's workshop, Linsan comes home to find her depressed father.
 ---
 
 > No one understands the mystical connection formed during that first note played by a musician on a new instrument. --- _Tears of the Broken Harp_ (Act 2, Scene 8)

chapters/chapter-005.md

@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ summary: >
 
 > The rise of the affluent middle class was a surprise to almost everyone. No one expected that workers would ever have the wealth and power of High Society. --- Wastor da Joknig, _After the Destruction of Natural Order_
 
-Miserable, Linsan limped up the stone path leading home. The blood on her hands and face had dried on the long, painful walk home. It felt like every joint in her body ached from where Brook's blast had tossed her aside.
+Miserable, Linsan limped up the stone path leading to her house. The blood on her hands and face had dried on the long, painful walk home. Every joint in her body ached from where Brook's blast had tossed her aside.
 
 She spat into the wilted flowers along the side of the path and regarded the stairs leading up to her porch. Every step seemed like an agony and the three steps were almost too much.
 
@@ -59,7 +59,7 @@ Linsan shook her head. "No, she's just left for another tour of _My Fairest Rose
 
 Dukan ran his hand along his short, dark hair. He smiled and shrugged. "Pity. I haven't had a chance to see that play. I've always loved watching your mother dance."
 
-"This is the third season," Broke muttered.
+"This is the third season," Brook muttered.
 
 He seemed lost for a moment. Then he smiled brightly. "Your dad in?"
 
@@ -93,7 +93,7 @@ Linsan gasped and stumbled back until she hit the step with her foot. "W-What?"
 
 Muscles along Brook's jaw tightened.
 
-Linsan rushed forward with her anger, shoving forward with her body. "You're the one who followed me to the workshop. You were the one who said my family was trash and---"
+Linsan shoving forward with her body. "You're the one who followed me to the workshop. You were the one who said my family was trash and---"
 
 "Your family is trash, you stupid bitch!" Brook shoved back with her bandaged hands.
 
@@ -129,9 +129,13 @@ He held out his hand for Linsan.
 
 Crying from the pain, Linsan took it and pulled herself up to her feet. She glanced at her father.
 
-Sian looked old at the top of the stairs. His skin was pale and wrinkled and there was no joy left in his eyes. He sighed and shook his head.
+Sian looked old at the top of the stairs. His skin was pale and wrinkled and there was no joy in his eyes as they looked her over from head to toe. With every second, his lips thinned.
 
-She cringed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fight."
+She cringed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get into a fight."
+
+"Anything broke? Do you need a bone setter?" Her father's voice was tense.
+
+"No... it just hurts... a little. I'm sorry." Tears burned in her eyes as she took in his disapproving look.
 
 "No," Dukan said, "I should apologize for my daughter. She obviously can't be trusted to exercise restraint."
 
@@ -139,7 +143,7 @@ Brook started to speak, "Sorry---"
 
 He held up his hand to silence her without looking at her. "Who or what is Palisis?"
 
-Sian spoke from the porch. "It's Marin's violin. The one I gave her when she married Junith."
+Sian spoke from the porch step. His voice was low and listless. "It's Marin's violin. The one I gave her when she married Junith."
 
 "Marin? She didn't keep it? Did... she get divorced again?"
 
@@ -153,9 +157,9 @@ Linsan tensed. She still remembered the first and only time she played the instr
 
 Sian nodded. "Yeah, never been played."
 
-Even though he didn't say it, Linsan could see her father die a little by lying to his best and oldest friend. His eyes shimmered with tears for a moment before he wiped them with the back of his hand.
+Even though he didn't say it, Linsan watched as her father's shoulders tensed and he clenched his hand. His eyes shimmered with tears for a moment before he wiped them with the back of his hand.
 
-Dukan looked confused. "It's a virgin Sterlig, Sian. Selling that would get you millions of cuks. You wouldn't have to be writing essays for pittance. Why are you working when that thing could set you for life?"
+Dukan looked confused. "It's a virgin Sterlig, Sian. Any musician with talent would sell their souls for the power that comes from being the first. Selling that would get you millions of cuks. You wouldn't have to be writing essays for pittance. Why are you working when that thing could set you for life?"
 
 Sian shook his head. "It's Marin, Dukan. You know that. There isn't another person closer to both of us than her. How could I just... throw that away for some money? We are surviving. It's a hard life but there are some things Tis and I just couldn't give up."
 
@@ -169,19 +173,19 @@ Linsan didn't answer.
 
 Dukan patted Sian's hand a few more times before he backed down the stairs until he was even with Linsan. "It will be safe at my bank, Sian. I promise you that. And if you ever do decide to sell it, I will make sure you get everything you need."
 
-Her father nodded. "Thank you, Dukan. I'm sorry for everything. I'm glad that you came out of this in a better place."
+Her father nodded. "Thank you, Dukan. I'm sorry for everything. After the fire, I... I... lost myself. Between the debtors and the loss, we barely made it through in one piece. I'm glad that you came out of this in a better place."
 
-"No one could have known that the fire would destroy everything. However, it's obvious that I've obviously drifted from your life in the last eight years. I apologize for that." He glanced at Linsan. "Look, I have a good run of luck lately and life is pretty rosy for our family. Not to mention, money isn't as tight as---"
+"No one could have known that the fire would destroy everything. However, it's obvious that I've drifted from your life in the last eight years as well. I apologize for that." He glanced at Linsan. "Look, I have a good run of luck lately and life is pretty rosy for our family. Not to mention, money isn't as tight as---"
 
-He turned to Brook with a stern look. "---some of us make it out to be."
+He turned to Brook with a stern look. "---some of us make it out to be. We are quite comfortable at this point and you know that."
 
 Brook's cheeks colored.
 
-Sian pulled a face. "Dukan, I'm honored but---"
+Sian cringed before he said, "Dukan, I'm honored but---"
 
-Dukan held up his hand. "I worked for both you and your father for my entire life. You were always good men and as close to family as you can get. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if you are too proud, your daughter deserves this."
+Dukan turned back held up his hand. "I worked for both you and your father for my entire life. You were always good men and as close to family as you can get. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if you are too proud, your daughter deserves this."
 
-Linsan inhaled with surprise. She glanced at Brook who looked hurt and just as surprise as herself.
+Linsan inhaled with surprise. She glanced at Brook who looked hurt and just as shocked as herself.
 
 "Just a couple hundred cukdins a month? Three? To help with the bills? Make sure she has a good start?"
 
@@ -195,13 +199,13 @@ Sian nodded.
 
 Linsan looked back. Judging from Brook's expression, she obviously didn't know about the move.
 
-"I'm sorry, but this probably means we're aren't going to see much of each other again. Not that I've been around a lot since the fire."
+"I'm sorry, but you have to admit, we're never going back to the way it was."
 
-Linsan could feel the profound sadness. Over the years, she's seen her father's friends drifting away as fortunes shifted. There weren't many left and Dukan barely visited. It felt like she was watching the last plank bridging their past lives and today being removed.
+Linsan felt her father's profound sadness. Over the years, she's seen her father's friends drifting away as fortunes shifted. Dukan was one of them. THe conversation between DUkan and her father felt like she was watching the last plank bridging their past lives and today being removed.
 
 "I understand, Duk." Sian sighed and nodded.
 
-"Please, let me help? At least until she's done with school? Maybe a few years after that? Until she's twenty?"
+"Please, let me help you one last time? At least until she's done with school? She'll be eighteen then. You could use the money."
 
 With tears rolling down his cheeks, Sian nodded again.
 
@@ -211,7 +215,7 @@ Brook looked at her, some of the anger replaced by confusion. Then she followed
 
 Linsan didn't move as she watched them drive away. Then she turned to look at her father. "I'm sorry."
 
-He wiped the tears from his eyes. "I always knew it was going to happen."
+He wiped the tears from his eyes. "I always knew it was going to happen. He was back on his feet less than a year after the fire."
 
 "Daddy?"
 
@@ -227,7 +231,7 @@ Her father stopped moving for a moment, then he turned and opened the door. "Com
 
 She cringed. "Yes."
 
-"Then it would take the Couple walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing. After all, you've been teaching yourself on the sly for months. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you properly."
+"Then it would take the Couple walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'd rather teach you than you playing on the sly for the last few months when you didn't think I could hear you."
 
 She gasped in surprise.
 

chapters/chapter-006.md

@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ She reached the end of the song and slowed her feet.
 
 "No, keep going," encouraged Tisin. She deftly jumped on the remains of the wall and danced along it. "Keep going!"
 
-Encourage, Linsan hopped on the wall and raced along it, jumping and twirling as she did. Her bare feet smacked against the weather-smoothed rock. The sun-warmed stone felt good against her toes as she raced along the side.
+Encouraged, Linsan hopped on the wall and raced along it, jumping and twirling as she did. Her bare feet smacked against the weather-smoothed rock. The sun-warmed stone felt good against her toes as she raced along the side.
 
 She missed a few of the notes but it didn't matter. She leaped off the end and landed neatly on the soft ground.
 
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ Linsan looked around at the few remaining walls. They were almost completely era
 
 Surprised, she looked back at her mother.
 
-Tisin looked happy as she peered around. "I guess I could think about what we lost but why? Sadness and hatred is an anchor, it pulls you down and drowns you."
+Tisin looked happy as she peered around. "I guess I could think about what we lost but why? Sadness and hatred are anchors that pulls you down and drown you."
 
 Linsan smirked. "Isn't that one of your lines?"
 
@@ -141,7 +141,7 @@ For the first time in Linsan's memory, Tisin's smile faded.
 
 A cold shiver ran down Linsan's spine.
 
-"We have enough for a while," came the less-than-cheerful response. Tisin shifted slightly, sitting up. She reached for the jar of ice water they had brought with them. "This will only be a couple of months. We've saved up enough that we don't have to worry for... quite a while."
+"We have enough for a while." Tisin didn't look at Linsan as she sat up. She reached for the jar of ice water they had brought with them. "This will only be a couple of months. We've saved up enough that we don't have to worry for... quite a while."
 
 Hating the feeling of dread that draped over her, Linsan thought about their situation. She never had to worry about a roof over her head, but she knew it was always tight ever since the fire. It had been years since they lost everything, everything but a few boxes and Palisis, her father's last violin.
 
@@ -151,9 +151,11 @@ A violin that hadn't been played, a virgin as Dukan called it, would be worth mi
 
 Linsan jumped. "What? No. I mean, yes. H-How? I didn't say anything."
 
-Her mother sighed. "Nothing more than a good guess. I figured your thoughts would go there because that was where both your father and I did. But you don't have the history of that violin that we share. You wouldn't understand how important it is to both of us."
+Her mother sighed. "Nothing more than a good guess. I figured your thoughts would go there because that was where both your father and I went. But you don't have the history of that violin that we share. You didn't live through the events that led us to that day: the day when we dissolved our marriages and forged new ones, when we promised to always love each other, when that violin meant that we would all be happy. Palasis was a promise between four best friends who loved each other more than anything else."
 
-"More than not having money?" Linsan felt weird asking her parents about such an adult topic.
+A tear ran down her cheek.
+
+Linsan reached up and brushed it from her mother's cheek.
 
 Tisin shook her head, then she reached over to hug Linsan tightly. "Losing you is the only thing worse than losing Mar's and Jun's memory. If it came down to you and it, we'll sell it, but otherwise we're going to keep it until there is no other choice. Once made, that decision cannot be undone."
 

project-words.txt

@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+cukdins
 Katsaril
 Linsan
 Palisis