fix: edited one and two

chapters/chapter-001.md

@@ -9,15 +9,15 @@ teaser: >
 
 > For eight generations, the Sterlig Family crafted some of the most treasured string instruments throughout Kormar. --- _History of Traditional Music_
 
-Linsan bounced on her family's new couch. With a flip of her green skirt, she did a somersault along the cushions before flopping again opposite arm. The couch creaked from the impact but she didn't care. With a grin, she pushed herself over the edge until her head dangled over the blue-and-white patterned rug below.
+Linsan bounced on her family's new couch. With a flip of her green skirt, she did a somersault along the cushions before flopping against the opposite arm. The couch creaked from the impact but she didn't care. With a grin, she pushed herself over the edge until her head dangled over the blue-and-white patterned rug below.
 
-In her mind's eye, she saw white snakes crawling around the blue waters and slowly reached out to catch one of them before it escape.
+In her mind's eye, she saw white snakes crawling around the blue waters and slowly reached out to catch one of them before it escaped.
 
 Her fingers bumped against the short hairs of the rug. Stretching further along the arm of the couch, she tried to grab more.
 
 "Are you still alive over there?"
 
-She peeked up past the back of the couch and into her father's brightly lit workroom. He sat at his customary chair behind a heavy wooden table while peering down at the disassembled parts of his latest work. His lenses reflected the light from the chandelier above him; he always put his glasses up to his forehead whenever he worked on small details.
+She peeked up past the back of the couch and into her father's brightly lit workroom. He sat is his customary chair behind a heavy wooden table while peering down at the disassembled parts of his latest work. His lenses reflected the light from the chandelier above him; he always put them up to his forehead whenever he worked on small details.
 
 Linsan took a deep breath, taking in the smells of sawdust and stain. It was a comforting scent, like the flowers inside her mother's pillows and the little bottle of perfume her parents saved for special occasions.
 
@@ -25,13 +25,13 @@ Linsan took a deep breath, taking in the smells of sawdust and stain. It was a c
 
 She giggled. "No! I'm right here!"
 
-"You weren't crashing around. I wasn't sure. I always heard four-year-old girls who weren't screaming dead."
+"You weren't crashing around. I wasn't sure. I always heard that if a four-year-old girl ever stopped screaming, she was either sleeping or dead."
 
 She rolled her body up the arm of the couch and over the back until she was bent over it. One bare foot toyed with the edge of the couch cushion as she watched her father pull out one of his delicate carving tools and hold it over the wooden board on the table.
 
 Lifting her other foot, she waved it. "See? I'm not dead! And I'm five, Daddy! You know that. I'm five and not dead!"
 
-"Oh, good, I was worried there for a moment," he said with a smile. His eyes never left the wood as he carved out a little curl of red. His fingers flexed for a moment before he cut another curl to match the other. Each one was smaller than the ridge of her fingernail.
+"Oh, good, I was worried there for a moment," he said with a smile. His eyes never left the wood as he carved out a little curl of red. His fingers flexed for a moment before he cut another curl to match the first. Each one was smaller than the ridge of her fingernail.
 
 He paused for a moment before he wiped the side of his cheek. Sawdust clung to his beard but quickly disappeared among the auburn and gray hairs.
 
@@ -59,17 +59,17 @@ From behind her, her mother spoke up. "Why am I yelling at Daddy?"
 
 Linsan spun around. "Mommy!"
 
-She launched herself off the couch, her bare feet hitting the rug before she remembered the imaginary snakes. With a shriek, she stumbled forward. "Snakes!"
+She launched herself off the couch, her bare feet hitting the rug before she remembered the imaginary snakes. With a shriek, she stumbled forward while trying to step over the snakes. "Snakes! Snakes everywhere1"
 
 Her mother dropped the cloth bags in her hand and caught her. Groceries poured out across the floor.
 
-Linsan pressed her cheek against her mother's. The scent of her mother's perfume surrounded her in a cloud. She must have picked up food on the way from her latest show. She turned and pointed to an patterns near the middle of the rug. "There are snakes in the rug," she whispered dramatically.
+Linsan pressed her cheek against her mother's. The scent of her mother's perfume surrounded her in a cloud. She must have picked up food on the way from her latest show. She turned and pointed to the patterns near the middle of the rug. "There are snakes in the rug," she whispered dramatically.
 
 "Oh no, did Daddy get rid of them?"
 
 "He's working on Palisis."
 
-Her mother frowned as she knelt down. "Palisis? Who's that?" Her head looked up as her loose curls rolled off her shoulder. "Who is Palisis?"
+Her mother frowned as she glanced at Linsan's father, her loose curls rolling off her shoulder. "Palisis? Who's that?"
 
 From the other room, her father grunted.
 
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ There was a brief silence.
 
 "Marin was daddy's first wife. That's who the violin is for. She's getting married to mommy's best friend from when she was a little girl."
 
-She kissed Linsan on the top of her head. "Now, if daddy is trapped by the snakes, that means we have to rescue him. How do we do that?"
+She kissed Linsan on the top of her head before lowering her head to speak the voice she used for her dramatic parts. Her mouth opened in mock surprise and shock. "Now, if daddy is trapped by the snakes, that means we have to rescue him. How do we do that?"
 
 Linsan bounced, her smile growing broader. Her auburn hair fluttered everywhere as she spun around a few times. "We dance! They can't bite us if we keep moving!"
 
@@ -93,6 +93,6 @@ Before long, they were spinning in the living room. Linsan loved when her mother
 
 There was the brief hum of a fiddle and then a cheery tune filled the room. In the middle of a twirl, Linsan peered over the couch to see that her father had abandoned his work and picked up Katsaril, an old fiddle Linsan had named when she was three.
 
-With the music no longer imaginary and the snakes forgotten, Linsan danced happily in the living room with her parents.
+With the music no longer imaginary and the snakes forgotten, Linsan danced happily in the living room with her mother while her father played.
 
 As far as she was concerned, that would never change.

chapters/chapter-002.md

@@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ Linsan sat on her father's work chair in the center of the living room. Her bare
 
 "Now, hold it out to the side like this," her father said. He sat on their worn couch with one of his own violins under his chin. His arm held out at a comfortable angle, elbow bent and the neck of the instrument as solid as the ground beneath their feet.
 
-After four years, the couch was threadbare and worn. She still remembered how springy it was when they had first gotten it. But years of abuse left it flattened and barely comfortable.
+After four years, the couch was threadbare and worn. She still remembered how springy it was when they had first gotten it. But years of abuse had left it flattened and barely comfortable.
 
 "Pay attention just a little longer. Hold it like this."
 
@@ -21,9 +21,9 @@ She concentrated on her position. Her arm shook with the effort to keep her viol
 
 "Don't focus too much on me. Just look at my bow. Bring it up to the violin like I'm doing and rest it right on the strings."
 
-The bow quivered as she tried to move it gracefully like her father. The hairs bounced against the tight strings. She managed to stop it from jumping, but when she accidentally drew the bow down, she was surrounded by the jarring screech.
+The bow quivered as she tried to move it gracefully like her father. The hairs bounced against the tight strings. She managed to stop it from jumping, but when she accidentally drew the bow down too fast, the screech rattled her teeth.
 
-Linsan cringed and yanked the two apart. Tears blurred her vision. "I can't get it!" she wailed.
+Linsan cringed and yanked the bow away. Tears blurred her vision. "I can't get it!" she wailed.
 
 "It's okay. It's okay." He held up his bow. "Everyone gets those notes. It happens all the time."
 
@@ -33,9 +33,9 @@ Linsan cringed and yanked the two apart. Tears blurred her vision. "I can't get
 
 "Mommy is going to be here in three days. I'll never be able to play this in time."
 
-He slid off the couch and onto his knees. Even then, he was only a few inches shorter than her. Crawling over, he leaned against the chair to straighten his posture. "Listen. You've never wanted to play the violin before. You may know a little piano and the pipe, but string instruments are a very different creature than those two."
+He slid off the couch and onto his knees. A groan escaped his lips as he crawled over to the chair next to her and then used it to prop himself back onto his knees. "Listen. You've never wanted to play the violin before. You may know a little piano and the pipe, but string instruments are a very different creature than those two.They require patience."
 
-"But, she'll love if I can play this, right?" It was her idea as a present when her mother came home. Though, at the time, she was convinced it would only take minutes to gain her father's mastery.
+Linsan stared at her father. On his knees, he was only a few inches shorter than her. "But, she'll love if I can play this, right?" It was her idea as a present when her mother came home. Though, at the time, she was convinced it would only take minutes to gain her father's mastery.
 
 He hugged her firmly. "And I'm so proud of you thinking about it. But a nine-year-old girl isn't going to pick this up in minutes. It takes time."
 
@@ -55,11 +55,11 @@ She sniffed and struggled to grin. "That's like a mile away."
 
 "Yes because you've been bouncing, rolling, and twirling in this house since you were five and I was carving Palisis."
 
-"That was only four years ago."
+"That was forever ago."
 
-"Feels like forever."
+He chuckled. "It was only four, Honey."
 
-Palisis. She remembered when her father's assistant, Dukan, had come to the house to package the violin to be shipped out. There was so much silk and velvet while he crafted a custom box for the violin that he made her a small bear with the scraps. She still had a ribbon of the deep purple material in her bedroom and the bear on a shelf.
+Palisis. She remembered when her father's assistant, Dukan, had come to the house to package the violin to be shipped out. There was so much silk and velvet after he finished crafting a custom case for the violin that he made her a small bear with the remains. She still had a ribbon of the deep purple material in her bedroom and the bear on a shelf.
 
 She looked up to see the sad look in her father's eyes. Something had happened and the violin came back a few years later. Her father had put it up in the attic and never said another word. "Daddy?"
 
@@ -83,33 +83,33 @@ Linsan pictured the last dance her mother taught her, the one she was no doubt u
 
 "I guess. While playing, the next step is this note." He played the two notes repeatedly. "So, try it again. Back and forth, moving in steady strokes."
 
-Furrowing her brow in concentration, she struggled to find the right way of getting her body to listen. Her father's guidance made it easier. Frustrated, she used her bare foot to mimic the maneuver, working her toes along the carpet. Together, she found the right balance of music and movement.
+Furrowing her brow in concentration, she struggled to find the right way of getting her body to listen. Her father's guidance made it easier. Frustrated, she used her bare foot to mimic the maneuver, working her toes along the carpet. It didn't take her long until she found a comfortable balance of music and movement.
 
 "There you go. Now put the two together."
 
-She did, moving her foot and the bow together to chain the two notes together.
+She did, moving her foot and the bow in tandem to chain the two notes.
 
 "And again."
 
 "Again."
 
-It took her eight notes before she realized what song he was teaching her. She giggled.
+It took her two measures before she realized what song he was teaching her. She giggled. It was one of her favorites, _My Ass for a Glass of Milk_.
 
-His smile almost lit up the room. It caused the wrinkles around his eyes to crinkle and his beard to stick out slightly. "Figured it out."
+His smile almost lit up the room. It caused the skin around his eyes to wrinkle and his beard to stick out slightly. "Figured it out?"
 
 "Mommy hates this song."
 
-"Well, it is rude and you were singing it quite loudly in the middle of church. The pastor's scowl matched your mother's." He gave her a playful wink. "But, I bet you can tell what the next note is going to be."
+"Well, it is rude and you were singing it quite loudly in the middle of church. The pastor's scowl matched your mother's. Neither of them are here though and I figured you'd be motivated to learn." He gave her a playful wink. "I bet you can tell what the next note is going to be."
 
-"Yeah," Linsan said with a giggle. She played the first eight notes and followed by the next one. To her surprise and relief, there wasn't a single screech.
+"Yeah," Linsan said with a giggle. She played the first eight notes again and followed by the next one. To her surprise and relief, there wasn't a single screech.
 
 "Good girl!"
 
 "I did it!" She dropped her violin to hug her father.
 
-His eyes widened as he caught it but then staggered back from her embrace. "Careful!" he said before he landed on his rear.
+His eyes widened as he caught it but then lost his balance when she pushed him back. "Careful!" he said before he landed on his rear.
 
-"Sorry, but I did it!"
+"Sorry!" She was't.
 
 He hugged her tightly. "I'm so proud of you!"
 
@@ -117,7 +117,7 @@ Someone pounded on the front door.
 
 Both of them jumped in surprise.
 
-Her father frowned as he scrambled to his feet. His brown eyes turned toward the dark window. "It's really late, who would be coming at this hour."
+Her father frowned as he scrambled to his feet. His brown eyes turned toward the dark window. "It's really late, who would be coming at this hour?"
 
 "Daddy?"
 
@@ -135,9 +135,11 @@ She jumped. This time, she set down the violin and bow. "Daddy?"
 
 In the entry hall, her father was speaking to Dukan. The younger man had dark black hair and a short beard that stretched up both sides of his cheeks. Unlike her father's pale skin, Dukan had a tan from the hours outside.
 
+Both of them had serious expressions and she cringed at her father's frown.
+
 "Are you sure, Sian?" asked Dukan. He didn't look at Linsan.
 
-"There isn't anyone to watch her." Her father's voice was sharp and tense. It sounded like when he was furious at someone.
+"I don't have time to find someone to watch her!" Her father's voice was sharp and tense. It sounded like when he was furious at someone.
 
 Linsan cringed.
 
@@ -157,15 +159,15 @@ She looked down at her nightgown.
 
 "Grab your bathrobe. I'm sorry, but this is important and I don't have a lot of time. Please? For me? Don't ask questions, just do it."
 
-Minutes later, she was sitting in the saddle of a spirited horse and cradled by her father's arms and legs. She clutched the pommel with one hand and her father's thigh with the other.
+Minutes later, she was sitting in the saddle of a spirited horse and cradled by her father's arms and legs. She clutched the pommel with one hand and the shirt gather at her her father's elbow with the other.
 
 Her father held his arm over her chest to hold her in place as they raced through the dark. The only light was a lantern that Dukan held up to lit the way.
 
 As the crisp air of fall rushed past them, she shivered and held herself tight against her father.
 
-He looked nervous, his face pale and his grip tighter than she expected. They were moving too fast for her to ask questions.
+He looked nervous, his face pale and his grip tighter than she expected. They were moving too fast for her to ask questions but she knew exactly where they were going, to the large building that housed most of the family's workshop with the bulk of the wood working tools, drying racks, and half-finished commissioned instruments.
 
-The family workshop was about a half hour ride during the day. The trip took them through a few valleys to a small woods nestled between two mountains. That was their family forest, the source of the wood that made her father's violins and the unique sound that came from his craft.
+The half hour trip took them through a few valleys to a small woods nestled between two mountains. That was their family forest, the source of the wood that made her father's violins and the unique sound that came from the instruments he crafted.
 
 There was a fire. She saw the glow of orange two valleys away and smelled it in the next. The stench of burning wood flooded her nostrils, choking her.
 
@@ -175,13 +177,13 @@ Sian's grip tightened. She thought she heard him whisper a prayer to the Divine
 
 He didn't answer.
 
-They came up to the familiar ridge that marked the border of their family lands. The bright oranges lit up the dark, billowing clouds that rose up over the burning trees.
+They came up to the familiar ridge that marked the border of their family lands. The bright orange lit up the dark, billowing clouds that rose up over the burning trees.
 
 Sian yanked on the reins.
 
-The equine reared.
+The horse reared.
 
-Linsan let out a cry as she felt dizzy. Her hands tightened on the pommel and reins until her knuckles turned white.
+Linsan let out a cry as she felt dizzy. Her hands tightened on the pommel until her knuckles turned white.
 
 Her father sobbed as he released the reins. "No, by the Couple, no. Not that."
 
@@ -191,11 +193,11 @@ The workshop was engulfed in fire. A rainbow of colors burst out of the two-stor
 
 Behind the workshop, the private forest her family owned burned. Ancient trees popped and hissed as the flames danced among the shriveled branches and burning leaves. Waves of heat, even from hundreds of feet away, beat against her face.
 
-"Where is the Couple-damned fire brigade!" screamed her father. "The entire valley is on fire!"
+"Where is the Couple-damned fire brigade!?" screamed her father. "The entire valley is on fire!"
 
 Dukan started to get off his horse. He looked around in shock. "I-I don't know. I summoned them before I came for you. They should be here."
 
-"Well, they aren't! This is my life!" Tears glinted in her father's eyes as he gestured angrily at the burning workshop. "My family is burning and there isn't anyone here!"
+"Well, they aren't! This is my life!" Tears glinted in her father's eyes as he gestured angrily at the burning workshop. "There isn't anyone here!"
 
 "I'll get them!" Dukan slipped back into place and spun his horse around. "I'll find out what happened."
 
@@ -205,13 +207,13 @@ Sian half-slid, half-fell from his horse. His arms were tight on Linsan, guiding
 
 The right side of the workshop collapsed.
 
-"No," he screamed in a voice that felt like the heavens should have split open and cried. It was a sound she had never heard her father make before and it terrified her.
+"No," he screamed in a voice that felt like the heavens had split open and cried. It was a sound she had never heard her father make before and it terrified her.
 
 He staggered forward.
 
 Linsan saw that he was going into the workshop. He was going to leave her alone in the heat of the fire. "Daddy!"
 
-Sian turned, his face sparkling with tears. "Just stay there, Honey. I have to..." He turned and let out a sob. "My life is in there. My grandparents planted those trees, my father build that shop."
+Sian turned, his face sparkling with tears. "Just stay there, Honey. I have to..." He turned and let out a sob. "My life is in there. My grandparents planted those trees, my father built that shop."
 
 "Daddy, I'm scared."
 

project-words.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+Katsaril
+Linsan
+Palisis