fix: integrating edits from writing group

chapters/chapter-01.md

@@ -6,8 +6,7 @@ access: private
 
 > The Rat Hunters were a famed band of mercenaries who traveled across the land to eliminate the worst infestations of escaped experiments and dangerous creatures. --- Ralisman Dupren, *The Rise of the Kormar Mercenary Armies*
 
-
-Karin yawned as she hopped off the wagon. Her breath fogged around her as she limped away from the back to let the others off behind her. Her hip protested her landing and she rubbed it as she glared around her.
+Karin yawned as she hopped off the back of the wagon. Her breath fogged around her as she limped away and let the others off behind her. Her hip protested her landing and she rubbed it as she glared around her.
 
 There were four wagons pulled into a circle. Two of the younger Rat Hunters were stacking up wood for a long fire. A third was using his magic to start a flame with his fingertip. Others were setting up a stall for the paymaster; every time someone got in line to try being first, they were volunteered for some duty.
 
@@ -15,15 +14,15 @@ Roal, one of the other warriors, came up with two large steaming mugs. "I could
 
 She stared at him for a moment, then grabbed one of the mugs. "Dicks?"
 
-It took a moment for the scent of tea to penetrate the fog of waking up and realize he was referencing her sore hip. "You know me, I would let any of those guys between my legs. No, Maril's damn boots fell out of the netting and I was too cold to move. Spent the entire night with those steel toes digging into my hip and my tits crushed against one of the crates."
+It took a moment for the scent of tea to penetrate the fog of waking up and realize he was referencing her sore hip. "You know me, I would let any of those guys between my legs. No, Maril's damn boots fell out of the netting, and I was too cold to move. Spent the entire night with those steel toes digging into my hip and my tits crushed against one of the crates."
 
 Roal patted her shoulder and then grinned. "Want me to rub anything?"
 
-She look at him for a long count before giving him a sweet smile. "Not unless I can cut your balls off in trade."
+She looked at him for a long count before giving him a sweet smile. "Not unless I can cut your balls off in trade."
 
 "I meant your hip." He didn't seem perturbed by her threat.
 
-She scratched the dried blood scabbing over a recent burn. "I'd rather find a peach instead of an old man like you. Your hands are too big and I'd rather have something softer near my privates."
+She scratched the dried blood scabbing over a recent burn. "I'd rather find a peach instead of an old man like you. Your hands are too big, and I'd rather have something softer near my privates."
 
 He smirked.
 

chapters/chapter-02.md

@@ -6,9 +6,9 @@ access: private
 
 > Just because the battle is over doesn't mean the fighting has ended. Some warriors never find relief from their wars. --- *The Horror of the Ghost Sword* (Act 2, Scene 4)
 
-Karin woke up with a gasp. Blindly, she smacked around with her hand until she caught the side table and then used that to lever herself up into a sitting position. The sweat-soaked sheets slid along her naked body. She cringed at the slickness but it wasn't any worse than waking up in knee-deep water.
+Karin woke up with a gasp. Blindly, she smacked around with her hand until she caught the side table and then used that to lever herself up into a sitting position. The sweat-soaked sheets slid along her naked body. She cringed at the slickness, but it wasn't any worse than waking up in knee-deep water.
 
-She grabbed a drier section of her blanket and used it to wipe the sweat from her face and breasts. She tossed it off the edge of the before slumping back against the cool headboard.
+She grabbed a drier section of her blanket and used it to wipe the sweat from her face and breasts. She tossed it off the edge of the bed before slumping back against the cool headboard.
 
 Nightmares continued to play in the back of her head. Images of monsters tearing into her body sent tremors through her scarred legs. Memories of claws, slashes, and having her intestines spill out across her hands was nothing compared to the startling clear memory of her ex-husband screaming at her the night she had packed up and left.
 
@@ -20,4 +20,4 @@ After a moment, she dropped her hand to her stomach. Deep scars crisscrossed the
 
 She had seen death enough times that she wasn't afraid anymore. Her second life had been brutal, exhausting, and violent. However she wouldn't pass it up for all the money in the world.
 
-With a sigh, she cupped herself and closed her eyes to drift away in an alcohol-fueled sleep.
+With a sigh, she cupped her sex and closed her eyes to drift away in an alcohol-fueled sleep.

chapters/chapter-03.md

@@ -6,15 +6,15 @@ access: private
 
 > Women who loved other women would use the word "peach" to signal to each other of their interests. --- *Slang in the Northern Cultures*
 
-A night of sleeping in a comfortable bed had done wonders to ease many of Karin's spirits but she knew the nightmare would resume as soon as she passed out again. A month of comfort wasn't enough to erase her horrors. To get through the next night, she decided to prepare like she was about to enter a monster's nest and went shopping.
+A night of sleeping in a comfortable bed had done wonders to ease Karin's aches and exhaustion but she knew the nightmare would resume as soon as she passed out again. A month of comfort wasn't enough to erase her horrors. To get through the next night, she decided to prepare like she was about to enter a monster's nest and went shopping.
 
 Two hours of cool air, warm sun, and window shopping netted her three bottles of rotgut, a few sets of clean underwear, and a new repair kit for her leather armor.
 
-San Graif was a pretty little town and she rarely had a chance to stroll through them. In a town like this, usually she was crawling through sewers, running down the street toward the fighting, or setting up barricades for the bigger assaults.
+San Graif was a pretty little town and she rarely had a chance to stroll along the streets. In a town like this, usually she was crawling through sewers, running down the street toward the fighting, or setting up barricades for the bigger assaults.
 
 She smiled and tried not to think about the nightmares.
 
-Karin had come around a corner when she spotted a dense crowd in front of a store. Instantly, she grew wary and tightened her grip on her shopping bag.
+Karin came around a corner and spotted a dense crowd in front of a store. Instantly, she grew wary and tightened her grip on her shopping bag.
 
 With a second look, she realized the group wasn't unruly. Almost everyone was sitting on metal chairs and benches. A few were reading books. Others had their faces uplifted and their eyes closed. No one crowded the store entrance and there was a clear path for her to walk through them.
 
@@ -24,21 +24,19 @@ Karin slowed with curiosity.
 
 Then she heard the sweetest song drifting through the open door. It was a popular ballad, of a lover waiting for her missing knight. But Karin had never heard it sung with such clarity or passion.
 
-The woman's voice wrap around her, tugging on her heart and dredged up a swarm of memories that left her gasping. She had many lovers since she had become a Rat Hunter and most of them ended in sweet partings. However, she could remember the looks they had given her as they parted ways. She had suffered the same longing when, but she could remember the looks they had given her as they parted ways. Their eyes had the same longing when she didn't want to
+The woman's voice wrapped around her, tugging on her heart and dredging up a swarm of memories of previous lovers that left her gasping. There were many of them since she had become a Rat Hunter and most had ended in sweet partings. More than a few begged her to say and the song reminded her of the longing she heard in their voices.
 
-The song from the bakery gave her a hint of what they were feeling in that moment, the desperate longing for more, the desire and sadness turning into a maelstrom.
+A tear ran down her cheek. She glanced around but only a few people watching her with knowing smiles. With a blush, she turned and peered around for a seat to keep listening but they were all occupied.
 
-A tear ran down her cheek. She looked around but only a few people looking at her with knowing smiles. With a blush, she turned and peered around for a seat but they were all occupied.
+An old woman pointed toward the store front with a knitting needle. "A spot opened up in there, Love."
 
-An old woman pointed toward the store front. "A spot opened up in there, Love."
-
-Karin turned and saw a couple getting up from a table. She said thanks and headed inside, slipping into the abandoned table before anyone else could take it.
+Karin turned and saw a couple getting up from a table. She said thanks to the old woman and headed inside, slipping into the abandoned bench before anyone else could take it.
 
 Feeling guilty, she looked around as she stuck her bags underneath the table. Her fingers were just pulling away when she caught sight of the singer.
 
-She was a peach, a beautiful young woman with bright eyes and a slender build. She had a few streaks of flour across her cheeks and a dusting caught her short, dark hair. Her smile was brilliant as she delivered a plate of food while still singing.
+The young woman singing was beautiful with bright eyes and a slender build. She had a few streaks of flour across her cheeks and a dusting caught her short, dark hair. Her smile was brilliant as she delivered a plate of food while still singing.
 
-"Oh, fuck me, Mother," whispered Karin in surprise. If there was a archetype for her ideal peach, it was the woman bending over the edge of the table while singing brilliantly.
+"Oh, fuck me, Mother of Divinity," whispered Karin to herself. If there was a archetype for her ideal peach, it was the woman bending over the edge of the table while singing brilliantly.
 
 Karin stared with desire and rapt attention until the song ended.
 
@@ -50,36 +48,36 @@ The singer stood in the center and smiled, her teeth brilliant in the light. She
 
 When the sound faded, she turned and headed toward a kitchen.
 
-An older man with similar hair color and nose stuck his head over a counter that separated the dining area with another room. "Pay attention and do your damn job! New customer on twenty!"
+An older man with similar hair color and nose stuck his head over a counter that separated the dining area from the kitchen. "Pay attention and do your damn job! New customer on twenty!"
 
-The young woman turned and looked straight at Karin. She gave another brilliant smile and headed over.
+The young woman turned and looked straight at Karin. She smile broadly and Karin noticed a dimple on her cheek. Brushing her hands on her hips, she headed over.
 
 Karin inhaled sharply and then smiled back.
 
-When the young woman approached, Karin got a better look. She looked to be in her early twenties, about half Karin's age. However, she smelled of flowers and fresh baked bread. She held out a menu. "Welcome to Lilard's. My name is Lilian. Is there anything I can get for you?"
+When the young woman approached, Karin got a better look. The waitress appeared to be in her early twenties, about half Karin's age. However, she smelled of flowers and fresh baked bread. She held out a menu. "Welcome to Lilard's. My name is Lilian. Is there anything I can get for you?"
 
 Karin's stomach rumbled even as she felt a heat fluttering between her legs. "Do you happen to have any peach pie?"
 
-"I'm sorry, peaches are out of season but we do have apple and pumpkin pies." Her voice never changed from the same cheerful tone.
+"I'm sorry, peaches are out of season but we do have apple and pumpkin pies." Her cheerful voice never changed.
 
-Fighting a brief wave of disappointment, Karin ordered a sandwich and a slice of pumpkin pie with heavy cream. She was hoping that asking for a peach would give a hint that Karin was looking for more than just a meal. A lack of response didn't mean no, not everyone used the term.
+Mildly disappointed, Karin ordered a sandwich and a slice of pumpkin pie with heavy cream. She would have preferred of Lilian had answered with a sultry response. That would have meant that Karin had a chance of company that night; that would push the nightmares away. However, the young woman's response didn't mean know; not everyone used the same hints and clues to make their desires known.
 
-Karin could still enjoy the view and the fantasy that the young woman had said there were peaches on the menu. She smiled to herself.
+No matter what, Karin could still enjoy the view and the fantasize that the young woman had said there were peaches on the menu. She smiled to herself and leaned back.
 
-Lilian went around the room, gathering orders. Then headed over to a large bowl with little strips of paper. Pulling out one with her left hand, she peered at it. With a smile, she rested her hand on an older man's shoulder. "It's your favorite, Bil. The Ballad of Lost Waters."
+Lilian went around the room, gathering orders. Then headed over to a large bowl with little strips of paper. Pulling out one with her left hand, she peered at it. With a smile, she rested her hand on an older man's shoulder. "It's your favorite, Bil. 'The Ballad of Lost Waters.'"
 
 The older man sighed and patted her hand.
 
 "Oi!" snapped the older man over the counter. "Off my daughter!"
 
-She favored him with a small.
+She favored Bil with a wink and pulled her hand away.
 
-Karin had heard of the ballad, it was one about a lost wife, a sad piece to say the least. Usually it was one of the song a mistral would sing near the end of the night, when only those losing themselves in bottles were still around.
+Karin had heard of the ballad, it was one about a lost wife and a man who couldn't accept her death. It was a sad piece to say the least. It was one of the songs a minstrel would sing near the end of the night, when only those losing themselves in bottles were still around to hear it.
 
-She had heard the song too many times on fruitless nights and didn't care for the difficult tunes. In her opinion, no one seemed to know how to sing it properly.
+She had heard the song too many times on fruitless nights and didn't care for the difficult tune. In her opinion, no one knew how to sing it properly.
 
 Then Lilian started to sing.
 
-Every sour opinion of the ballad faded away with the intense emotions that rose up inside Karin. Like the previous song, it managed to dredge up memories that Karin had long forgotten. With a gasp, she closed her eyes and lost herself remembering the days when her grandmother had died.
+Every sour opinion of the ballad faded away with the intense emotions rising up inside Karin. Like the previous song, it managed to dredge up memories that Karin had long forgotten. With a gasp, she closed her eyes and lost herself remembering the days when her grandmother had died.
 
-There was no doubt, she was coming back again.
+There was no doubt, Karin had to come back to this place.

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ access: private
 
 > The rich are the truest evil in the world but culture acts as their armor against accountability. --- *The River Queen Sacrifice* (Act 3, Scene 9)
 
-Karin sat down in her now customary seat at Lilard's. After three days, no one questioned her presence. It was early morning but the bakery had been open for hours while they baked the breads, sweets, and breakfast. The rich storm of smells surrounded her and she smiled.
+Karin sat down in her now customary seat at Lilard's. After three days, no one questioned her presence. It was early morning, but the bakery had been open for hours while they baked the breads, sweets, and breakfast pies. The rich storm of smells surrounded her and she smiled.
 
 "Good morning, Karin," Lilian said as she brought over a cup of tea and a slice of apple pie. The usual cheerful tone was gone, leaving behind a subdued tone that Karin had never heard.
 
@@ -18,19 +18,19 @@ Lilian's eyes were red. She parted her perfect lips to say something but then sh
 
 Lilian smiled but it was forced.
 
-As Karin watched Lilian walk away, she frowned. It was obvious that the young woman had either a bad night or a worst morning. Her gaze slid to the opening between the rooms. Steam and smells drifted across the counter, adding to the atmosphere of the nearly empty dining room. On the other side, she heard Lilian's father speaking to someone in excited terms.
+As Karin watched Lilian walk away, she frowned. It was obvious that the young woman had either a bad night or a worse morning. Her gaze drifted to the opening between the rooms. Steam and smells poured across the counter, adding to the atmosphere of the nearly empty dining room. On the other side, she heard Lilian's father speaking in an excited voice.
 
 Lilian wrote up Karin's order and stuck it on a wooden spike for the back. "Order up," she said quietly.
 
 Turning around, the dark-haired beauty sighed before scanning the room. Her gaze stopped on the jar that contained the song requests. Glancing up at the rest of the room, she reached over and pulled it off the counter before stowing it out of sight.
 
-A prickle of concern raced through Karin. After listening to the sweet tones of Lilian's singing, the relative silence felt like a knife against her ears.
+A prickle of concern raced through Karin. After listening to the sweet tones of Lilian's singing, the relative silence felt like a knives against her ears.
 
-Laughter rose up from the back room. She recognized Lilian's father but it was the second voice that brought a sudden sharp tension across her chest. She had heard that laughter more than once since she had became one of the Rat Hunters: Tristoh da Lamaster, a merchant lord that had a talent for funding the wrong thing.
+Laughter rose up from the back room. She recognized Lilian's father but it was the second voice that caused the muscles across her chest to tight painfully. She had heard that laughter more than once since she had become a Rat Hunter: Tristoh da Lamaster, a merchant lord with a talent for funding the wrong thing.
 
 Surprised, she lifted herself from her seat and peered into the back room.
 
-Tristoh was shaking hands with Lilian's father, his distinctive sharp point of his beard unmistakable from a distance. He looked pleased with himself.
+Tristoh was shaking hands with Lilian's father, the distinctive sharp point of his beard was unmistakable from a distance. He looked pleased with himself.
 
 Karin sat down heavily. "Shit."
 
@@ -42,9 +42,9 @@ The muscles under her palm tightened and Lilian inhaled sharply. Then she looked
 
 Karin frowned and then shrugged. "Me and the Rat Hunters had to clean up some of his so-called investments. The last one was..."
 
-She paused for a moment as she remembered the swarm of giant mosquitoes that swarmed through the chimney of the farm house they had made their last stand. There was so much blood when it was over, too much of it was hers and she almost died from the attack.
+She paused for a moment as she remembered the giant mosquitoes that swarmed through the chimney of the farm house they had made their last stand. There was so much blood when it was over, too much of it was hers and she almost died from the attack.
 
-After shuddering, she continued. "... a few months ago. A mage he had hired to research a weapon had accidentally let a swarm of mutated mosquito into a village."
+After shuddering, she continued. "... a few months ago. A mage he had hired to research a weapon had accidentally let a swarm of mutated mosquitoes into a village."
 
 Karin sighed and she stroked her finger across the back of Lilian's hand. It was a selfish maneuver on her part, but the soft skin felt good against Karin's scarred fingers. "Almost everyone died before we managed to burn the nest."
 
@@ -66,11 +66,11 @@ It took her only a few seconds to catch up to the sobbing young woman in the all
 
 Karin, on the other hand, had been spending a year fighting. She wasn't even winded as she stopped in front of Lilian. She gingerly reached up to take her hands but then hesitated before pulling back. "What did he do?"
 
-Lilian looked up, her eyes shimmering with tears. "He offered to by my hand in marriage a-and my dad accepted it!"
+Lilian looked up, her eyes shimmering with tears. "He offered to buy my hand in marriage a-and my dad accepted it!"
 
 Karin's hands slumped down. "W-What in the...?"
 
-"Last night! He came home and said I was to be married in a week. I haven't even met him until this morning! He just... that man just bought my and my father is going along with it!"
+"Last night! He came home and said I was to be married in a week. I haven't even met him until this morning! He just... that man just bought my hand like a sack of flour! My father... he's... he took the offer!"
 
 Karin flinched. "A bride offer? What does he think this is, Tarsan? We don't do that fucking patriarchal shit in Kormar! He should know that."
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ Karin flinched. "A bride offer? What does he think this is, Tarsan? We don't do
 
 "It can possibly be legal."
 
-Lilian let out a choked sob. "The bakery has been in our family for five generations. It was ours! But when I started to argue, my dad swore he would disarm me if I didn't m-marry that man."
+Lilian let out a choked sob. "The bakery has been in our family for five generations. It was ours! But when I started to argue, my dad swore he would disown me if I didn't m-marry that man."
 
 Karin spun on her heals. "Screw the gods on this one."
 
@@ -132,6 +132,6 @@ She ground her teeth together. Then she shook her head.
 
 He smirked. "You won't win this fight."
 
-Karin stepped back. She could see emotions painted on everyone's face: triumph on Tristoh, anger on Lilian's father, and sadness and regret on Lilian. But she couldn't do anything, not at the moment.
+Karin stepped back. She could see emotions painted on everyone's faces: triumph on Tristoh, anger on Lilian's father, and sadness and regret on Lilian. But she couldn't do anything, not at the moment.
 
-With Tristoh laughing, she turned and stormed back to her inn room.
+With Tristoh laughing, she turned and stormed back to the inn.

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -6,13 +6,13 @@ access: private
 
 > The best and worst ideas are made at the bottom of a bottle. --- Kormar Proverb
 
-Karin sat naked on her bed, her back against the headboard and her eyes focus on a spot three feet in front of her. She couldn't sleep despite her aching eyes and the exhaustion that plucked the back of her head.
+Karin sat naked on her bed, her back against the headboard and her eyes focused on a spot three feet in front of her. She couldn't sleep despite her aching eyes, her buzz, and the exhaustion that plucked at the back of her head.
 
 It had been two days since she stormed away from Lilard's and she couldn't stop thinking about Lilian. It wasn't fancy dreams of sex and fun, but the countless possibilities of what Tristoh had in mind for her.
 
 He was going to use her. That was too much clear. Nothing in their shared past would hint at love or romance. Even his offer, which had set off a fire of gossip throughout the city, was too large for anything besides one more of his investments.
 
-It to be Lilian's singing. While she was definitely a beauty, the way her songs brought back memories and fired up emotions. That was truly a gift and one that she could see Tristoh using.
+It had to be Lilian's singing. While she was definitely a beauty, the way her songs brought back memories and ignited emotions. She had a gift, one that Karin could too easily see Tristoh wanting to use for his own profit.
 
 What she didn't know is how. Would he put her on a stage and force her to sing? Would he sell her voice to the highest bidder? Or just rent her out until her eyes were dead and her throat ruined?
 
@@ -22,20 +22,20 @@ Tristoh's next step was to marry her. The ceremony was in a few days. No one see
 
 With a shaking hand, Karin lifted the mug in her hand and sipped at the rotgut that had pooled in the bottom. It was warm and the acrid scents burned her eyes. She closed her eyes to focus on the burn as it ripped down her throat.
 
-She drained the glass. Looking at the bottom for a moment, she reached out for the bottle but stopped when she noticed it was empty. Her half-eaten dinner sat next to it, the copper plate bright in the candlelight.
+She drained the glass. Looking at the bottom for a moment, she reached out for the bottle but stopped when she noticed it was empty. Her half-eaten dinner sat next to it, the bronze plate bright in the candlelight and a fork resting on the edge.
 
-With an inspiration, she set down the glass on the table and picked up the plate. With a flick of her wrist, she dumped the contents into the garbage can before bringing the plate to her lap.
+Annoying at Lilian's struggle, she set down her glass on the table and picked up the plate. She was surprised that the inn had metal plates, but it was fortunate for her. With a tap, she emptied the contents into the garbage can by the bed before bringing the plate to her lap.
 
-With a smile, she thought about the metal serving trays that the bakery had. As she did, she rubbed the smooth edge of her plate.
+With a smile, she thought about the metal serving trays at the bakery. As she did, she felt the edge began to warp as the beveled edge flattened into a sharp edge. She didn't need any pressure or even to touch it, metal sharpened with her thoughts. Absently, she ran her finger and enjoyed the makeshift blade. She continued to sharpen the metal until the entire rim was a killing blade. Karin continued to focus on it as she sharpened it even further, honing the blade to the point where the bronze itself couldn't get any narrower.
 
-Energy hummed along her senses, dancing along her veins. It gathered underneath her thumb and the metal began to flow underneath her touch. She could feel the beveled edge flatten and then sharpen. The edge became sharper as the shaping stretched along both curves of the plate.
+"Fucking asshole," she muttered. Gripping the plate carefully, she drew back and threw the plate at the wall with all her might.
 
-In her mind's eyes, she concentrated on the edge and whittled it down until it was narrower than the scales of a hair. That was her talent, to sharpen metal by touch.
+The bronze disk sliced into the wall. It plunged deep into the plaster and wood; with a blade so sharp, it didn't need much strength to bury it. The plate vibrated from the impact.
 
-With a grin, she imagined Tristoh standing at the foot of her bed. She stared at him and then threw the plate where she imagined his head would be.
+She smiled as she listened to the ringing. Her ability to sharpen blades in the middle of the fight made her a valuable member of the Rat Hunters. Without her, the armored beasts they fought would dull or nick the blades in only a few strikes.
 
-The plate slammed into the wall, sinking four inches into the plaster and wood. The edge, now sharper than any blade could be hone, sparkled in the candlelight.
+Too bad it was murder if she attacked Tristoh. But it would be defense if she wasn't the one who initiated the fight.
 
-Karin smiled broadly.
+A bad idea came to mind.
 
-It was time to go back.
+She smiled. It was time to go back to Lilard's.

language.json

@@ -3,8 +3,12 @@
 		"Dupren",
 		"Graif",
 		"Kormar",
+		"Lilard's",
 		"Maril's",
 		"Ralisman",
-		"Roal"
+		"Roal",
+		"Tarsan",
+		"Tristoh",
+		"Tristoh's"
 	]
 }