fix: integrating edits from the writing group

chapters/chapter-01.md

@@ -2,23 +2,21 @@
 title: Getting Up
 ---
 
-There were some days when getting out of bed wasn't worth it. Viola cracked open her eyes and measured out the distance to the bathroom, trying to decide if the pressure in her bladder was worth the discomfort of leaving her blankets.
+There were some days when getting out of bed was a trial. Viola cracked open her eyes and contemplated the distance to the bathroom, trying to decide if relieving the pressure in her bladder was worth the discomfort of leaving her blankets.
 
-After a few minutes, she closed her eyes and sank back into the comforting warmth with a desire to let the day pass as quickly as possible.
+A pounding in her head made it impossible to drift back to sleep. Her body twinged and her skin crawled, increasing the pressure on her senses until she felt herself being dragged into wakefulness.
 
-A pounding in her head made it impossible. Her body twinged in other ways, increasing the pressure on her senses until she felt herself being dragged out of her sleep by pain alone.
+With a groan, she opened her eyes and threw back her covers. It was cold. She shivered and grabbed her blankets again. She could hold it in a little longer, at least until she could no longer ignore it.
 
-With a groan, she opened her eyes and threw back her covers. It was cold. She shivered and grabbed her blankets again. She'll just change her sheets later.
+The pounding continued steadily.
-
-The pounding continued, a steady throb.
 
 She rolled over. Her own smell, days without a shower, wafted over her and she pulled a face.
 
-When the beating moved to the other side of her head, she realized it wasn't inside her. Someone stood at the door. The beat steadily filled the room, it could almost be a metronome from the consistent rhythm and force. There was only one person would be knocking on her door that acted like that.
+When the beating moved to the other side of her head, she realized it wasn't inside her. Someone was pounding at the door. The steady beat filled the room. It could almost be a metronome from the consistent rhythm and force. There was only one person who knocked like that.
 
 Viola took a deep breath. "Go away, Mudd!"
 
-Her partner continued to knock on the door, never varying from his beat.
+Her partner continued to knock on the door, never varying from his beat. There were times when his consistency saved them from spoiling a crime scene or defending the evidence, but there were other times when it was just annoying.
 
 "Mudd! Go away."
 
@@ -28,23 +26,23 @@ The pounding stopped. "I cannot, I need your assistance." He always spoke in an
 
 The pounding resumed.
 
-After what felt like years, she finally forced herself out of bed. She started for the door but then decided to handle a more pressing need in her bathroom before answering the door.
+After what felt like years, she finally forced herself out of bed. She started for the door but then decided to handle a more pressing need in her bathroom before answering it.
 
-He stopped knocking only when she turned the handle to open the door. When she looked outside, he stood with his hands at his side staring directly at her.
+He stopped knocking only when she turned the doorknob. When she looked outside, he stood with his hands at his side staring directly at her.
 
-Mudd was not imposing or impressive. At only five feed, the top of his head was bald and the sides neatly trimmed. His outfit was impeccable, neatly pressed and only had a few wrinkles around the shoulders. She could have sworn he was dressed for work. Reflexively, she looked down but didn't see his guard bracelet around his wrist.
+Mudd was not imposing or impressive. He stood almost exactly five feet tall. The top of his head was bald with neatly trimmed fringe on the sides. His outfit was impeccable, neatly pressed and only had a few wrinkles around the shoulders. She could have sworn he was dressed for work. Reflexively, she looked down but didn't see his guard bracelet around his wrist. She breathed as sigh of relief, if he wasn't working, that meant he wasn't there to pull her into a forensics case.
 
 "It's still the weekend," he said in a low, almost monotone voice. After years of working with him, she was always surprised when he raised it.
 
-"Then why are you here?" She yawned and leaned against the door frame. Her sleeping shirt clung to her skin and she caught another whiff of her scent. It took her a moment to force any response from her face to avoid alerting him to her lack of cleaning. It was just too much to handle at the moment.
+"Then why are you here?" She yawned and leaned against the door frame. Her sleeping shirt clung to her skin and she caught another whiff of her scent. Afraid he would notice, she struggled to keep her nose from wrinkling. She desperately needed to bathe and his look of disapproval would be too much for her at the moment.
 
-Mudd shrugged and looked down the hall toward the rest of the doors in the apartment. "I have work adjacent tasks that need your attention."
+Mudd shrugged and looked down the hall toward the rest of the doors in the apartment. "I have work-adjacent tasks that need your attention."
 
 "Work... adjacent?"
 
-"Yes, related to work but not directly toward a case." He reached up for her neighbor's door but then pulled his hand back. When he turned back to her, there was a faint tension on his face. "Please?"
+"Yes, related to work but not directly toward a case." He reached up toward her neighbor's door. His eyes were focused, he had noticed something. He stopped in mid-motion before he returned his attention to her. She could see the tension in his face and wondered what he saw. "Please?" he asked.
 
-The idea of leaving left her cold. She shook her head and grabbed the door to shut it. "Not today?"
+The idea of leaving left her cold. She shook her head and grabbed the door to shut it. "Not today."
 
 "You have called in sick for four days."
 
@@ -52,13 +50,13 @@ The idea of leaving left her cold. She shook her head and grabbed the door to sh
 
 "No, you aren't."
 
-Viola almost denied it. She wasn't sick, or at least she wasn't ill. She just wasn't ready to face the world after what happened with her date with....
+Viola almost denied it. She wasn't sick, or at least she wasn't ill. She just wasn't ready to face the world after what happened with her date.
 
-She turned away. "Don't do that."
+She turned away. "Don't do that. Just let me be... report being sick."
 
 "As you wish, but I still would like your company. Please? Just an hour and then you can return."
 
-She looked at her living room. Almost empty boxes were stacked up on the tables. She could see flies buzzing over a few and mold growing on the older dishes. Each one had been delivered over the last few days but she didn't realize how tall the piles were getting. Or the smell. She frowned and shook her head. "Mudd, I'm not ready."
+She looked at her living room. Empty boxes were stacked up on the tables. She could see flies buzzing over a few and mold growing on the older dishes. Each one had been delivered over the last few days but she didn't realize how tall the piles were getting. Or the smell. She frowned and shook her head. "Mudd, I'm not ready."
 
 "I know. But you need to get out."
 
@@ -66,7 +64,7 @@ A tear threatened to form. "I just need to sleep a little longer."
 
 "Yes, but first, come out. You need to get away from... that." She could almost hear the disgust in his voice. She didn't blame him, it looked horrible.
 
-Viola considered Mudd's request. He would have never come if he wasn't worried. She wasn't even sure he knew where she lived. Now, he's standing outside her door? She turned to him. "Who told you?"
+Viola considered Mudd's request. He would have never come if he wasn't worried. She wasn't even sure he knew where she lived. He found out somewhere and felt the need to show up? She turned to him. "Who told you?"
 
 The faintest of smiles cross his face. "I deduced, nothing more."
 
@@ -78,7 +76,7 @@ Viola couldn't handle it. She shook her head. "No, maybe later."
 
 Closing the door, she shuffled back to her bed. The mess pressed against her senses, a disorder from her normally clean house. She liked order, that is what made magic possible. Taking a deep breath, she winced at the smells that assaulted her.
 
-The idea of crawling into her blankets suddenly seemed just as undesirable. She flipped back the blankets and stared at the cozy spot that she had enjoyed for days. Well, enjoyment may not be the right term.
+The idea of crawling into her blankets suddenly seemed just as undesirable. She flipped back the blankets and stared at the cozy spot that she had enjoyed for days. Well, enjoyment wasn't the right term.
 
 She shook her head. "Damn him."
 
@@ -90,7 +88,7 @@ Mudd looked at her. "Please?"
 
 He sniffed. "An hour after your shower."
 
-For a moment, she almost slam the door on his face but she knew it wouldn't perturb him. He would be standing there until she came with him. If there was one thing about her partner, he was patient. "Fine, I'm going to take a long hot shower and then---"
+For a moment, she almost slammed the door on his face but she knew it wouldn't perturb him. He would be standing there until she came with him. If there was one thing about her partner, he was patient. "Fine, I'm going to take a long hot shower and then---"
 
 "Get some clean clothes."
 

chapters/chapter-02.md

@@ -2,11 +2,11 @@
 title: Deceptions
 ---
 
-The good mood only lasted a few blocks. By then, she was out in the sun with the warmth sinking into her skin and fresh air blowing against her. It wasn't so bad.
+Her good mood only lasted a few blocks. By then, she was out in the sun with the warmth sinking into her skin and fresh air blowing against her. It wasn't so bad.
 
-They walked side-by-side along the sidewalk, moving with the easy grace that two partner of ten years had. Their relationship was purely work, they worked on cases together and then drifted apart. Mudd had never approached her like this, which worried her. Was he trying something else? Did he know that she and Ravin were no longer together? The discomfort crawled up and down her spine.
+They walked side-by-side along the sidewalk, moving with the easy grace that partners of ten years had. Their relationship was purely professional. They worked on cases together and then drifted apart. Mudd had never approached her like this, which worried her. Was he trying something else? Did he know that she and Ravin were no longer together? The discomfort crawled up and down her spine.
 
-Mudd stopped at a small outdoor cafe off of a minor street. He pushed open the cast iron gate and gestured for her to enter the fenced air in the sun.
+Mudd stopped at a small outdoor cafe off of a minor street. He pushed open the cast iron gate and gestured for her to enter the fenced-in area and toward a table in the sunlight.
 
 "What is this?"
 
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ Mudd stopped at a small outdoor cafe off of a minor street. He pushed open the c
 
 "I didn't bring my wallet."
 
-"I'm fully aware of this. I'm paying, you are not." He lead her to a large empty table and sat down at the end. He gestured for her to sit next to him, around the corner.
+"I'm fully aware of this. I'm paying; you are not." He led her to a large empty table and sat down at the end. He gestured for her to sit next to him, around the corner.
 
 Viola sat down on the warm metal seat. "Mudd, what are you doing?"
 
@@ -38,13 +38,13 @@ Mudd carefully pushed the stack of menus away from the waiter and himself before
 
 "An omelet, belly pork and greens and onions. And then an order of steak and pancakes, extra butter with a side of strawberry preserves."
 
-Viola's stomach rumbled. She love steak and strawberries.
+Viola's stomach rumbled. She loved steak and strawberries.
 
 The waiter wrote down the order and then held out his hand for the menus.
 
 Mudd pushed them further away.
 
-A flash of annoyance cross the waiter's face. Then he turned and left.
+A flash of annoyance crossed the waiter's face. Then he turned and left.
 
 "Mudd, I said I wasn't hungry."
 
@@ -54,9 +54,9 @@ A flash of annoyance cross the waiter's face. Then he turned and left.
 
 "It must have been a mistake. No matter, I'll eat it later."
 
-Viola glared at him. "You don't steak and you don't like preserves."
+Viola glared at him. "You don't like steak and you don't like preserves."
 
-He shrugged.
+He shrugged. "Then it was a mistake. No matter." His monotone voice didn't waver.
 
 She knew he ordered for her, but she wasn't going to give him the comfort of knowing that it sounded good already. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, we ordered, what do you need me to do?"
 
@@ -76,17 +76,17 @@ She started to speak but he silenced her by holding up a finger.
 
 "Just because I was sick for a week?"
 
-His eyes hardened. "You called in sick but you were not sick. Judging from the events you had planned that night, your lack of response, the way you had failed to hang up your dress, and other physical evidence, I'm guessing things went poorly."
+His eyes hardened. "You called in sick but you were not sick. Judging from the events you had planned that night, your lack of response, the way you had failed to hang up your dress, and the advanced state of decay of delivered food, I suspect events went poorly."
 
-A memory rose up, one of Ravin calling her a "overly controlling queen" before storming out of the play. The actors had to stop due to the disruption and she could still remember the feeling of the entire audience staring at her. She felt sick for a moment and she shook her head to clear it.
+A memory rose up, one of Ravin calling her an "overly controlling queen" before storming out of the play. He had left her standing in the middle of the seats with everyone staring at her. The actors had to stop due to the disruption of him trying to force his way past the ushers. She felt sick for a moment and she shook her head to clear it.
 
-"I will not discuss it unless you ask, nor will I let the others do so until you are ready. But you are my partner and remaining in bed for five days eating fatty foods is not the best way to remain healthy or sane."
+Mudd continued, "I will not discuss it unless you ask, nor will I let the others do so until you are ready. But you are my partner and remaining in bed for five days eating fatty foods is not the best way to remain healthy or sane."
 
-"So you are dragging me out of my apartment?"
+"So you decided to drag me out of my apartment?"
 
 "Yes, for fresh air, healthy food, and the brief company of your friends."
 
-He grinned briefly, a smile that crossed his face before disappearing. "In addition, if you choose, I will hire cleaners to work on the mess of your place to prevent you from being overwhelmed with the mess."
+He grinned briefly, a smile that crossed his face before disappearing. "In addition, if you choose, I will hire cleaners to work on the mess of your place to prevent you from being overwhelmed with the clutter."
 
 Viola frowned for a moment and then sighed. "When?"
 

chapters/chapter-03.md

@@ -2,21 +2,23 @@
 title: The Gathering
 ---
 
-Viola glanced at the steaming plate next to her. The smells of roasted meat caused her stomach to rumble and her mouth to water. She knew that Mudd had ordered it for her but a stubborn part of her didn't want to give him the satisfaction of eating it.
+Viola glanced at the steaming plate next to her. The smells of roasted meat caused her stomach to rumble and her mouth to water. She knew Mudd had ordered it for her but a stubborn part of her didn't want to give him the satisfaction of eating it.
 
-"... thought I'm not sure about the claims that using a layering method for creating the spell would be any different than the normal matrix. Energy leaks out of the frame no matter how you put it in there, the very fact the stasis spell is arresting decay means it has to leak."
+She listened to Mudd finishing his long-winded rant about one of the articles in the latest *Emerging Wizardry*.
 
-Mudd sighed and tapped on the table twice. "Naturally, we're going to see grifters going around the victim's families saying their way will keep the evince clean as long as they hand over a few thousand marks."
+"... though I'm not sure about the claims that using a layering method for creating the spell would be any different than the normal matrix. Energy leaks out of the frame no matter how you put it in there, the very fact the stasis spell is arresting decay means it has to leak."
+
+Mudd sighed and tapped on the table twice. "Naturally, we're going to see grifters going around the victim's families saying their way will keep the evidence clean as long as they hand over a few thousand marks."
 
 She let herself be pulled into the conversation. "Don't you love *Emerging Wizardry*? A new crisis every other month. Unfounded theories in the issues."
 
-"I almost wish they would back to their monthly drooling over those damnable steam engines."
+"I almost wish they would go back to their monthly drooling over those damnable steam engines."
 
 Viola smiled. "You hate those things."
 
-"I hate that everyone seems to think wrapping a rune in a ton of metal is going to prevent feedback. We have Felony Feedback laws for a reason."
+"I hate that everyone seems to think wrapping a rune in a ton of metal is going to prevent feedback. We have felony feedback laws for a reason."
 
-An itch crawled down Viola's left arm. She scratched it but it burrowed deeper into her bones. With a squirm, she twisted her hand a little to ease the discomfort.
+An itch crawled down Viola's left arm. She scratched but it burrowed deeper into her bones. With a squirm, she twisted her hand a little to ease the discomfort.
 
 Someone walked behind her and the itching grew more intense.
 
@@ -38,31 +40,31 @@ Then it registered. Viola turned to Mudd who looked at her impassively. "Is that
 
 "Fine," she muttered as she rolled her eyes. Making a big deal of dragging the plate over, she finally allowed herself to eat the first hot food in days, at least the first that didn't come delivered in a box.
 
-Able pulled out his pocket watch and a small notebook. Popping the front, he peered at the time and then noted something in the book.
+Able pulled out his pocket watch and a small notebook. Opening the cover on both, he peered at the time and then noted something in the book.
 
 Viola leaned over to butt him with her shoulder. "You still don't have to write down everything we eat. None of us are working today."
 
 "My coworkers are the best control group I have access to. You have to eat, you are willing to do so in my presence, and you understand why I record it." It was a long argument between them, which also made it comforting to bring it up.
 
-"True," said Mudd. "However, despite city guards being the sixth most dangerous job in this city, we have pretty good chance of surviving."
+"True," said Mudd. "However, despite city guard being the sixth most dangerous job in this city, we have pretty good chance of surviving."
 
-Able sighed. "It just take one."
+Able sighed. "It just takes one."
 
-All three of them bowed their heads in silence. He was right. None of them knew when they were going to die. As city guards, there was always a chance that someone had a personal grudge, or a trap spell was missed, or even just a prisoner escape.
+All three of them bowed their heads in silence. He was right. None of them knew when they were going to die. As city guards, there was always a chance that someone had a personal grudge, or a trap spell was missed, or a violent prison escape.
 
 Viola's scalp began to crawl. Next to her, Able groaned and twisted in his chair. On the other side, Mudd tensed and closed his eyes. Another mage was approaching, Wathin.
 
 Neither Mudd or Able looked up. "Afternoon, Wathin."
 
-Wathin planted his weapon, a spear crackling with spells, against the fence and used it to step over the sharp points. On the other side, he sank neatly into a chair while flipping his spear around to nestle it against his shoulder. It was a flashy maneuver that brought the bitter taste of his magic rolling over all three of the mages.
+Wathin planted his weapon, a spear crackling with spells, against the fence and used it to step over the points of the railing. On their side, he sank neatly into a chair while flipping his spear around to nestle it against his shoulder. It was a flashy maneuver that brought the bitter taste of his magic rolling over all three of the mages.
 
-The newcomer wore his heavy red cloak and bracelet that identified him as a Mage-Captain of the city guard. Of course, the other three mages had the same rank.
+The newcomer wore his heavy red cloak and bracelet that identified him as a Mage-Captain of the city guard. They all had the same rank.
 
 The waiter came back, jumping with surprise at the new people at the table. "May I take your order?"
 
-Wathin straightened his back. "Yeah, Honey, why don't you throw some big hunk of dripping meat on a plate, add some thick potatoes next to it, drizzle the whole thing in cream, and then feed it to me? I like it rare." He had a southern accent from his parents, it was just a hint of sounding exotic despite being born and raised in the city.
+Wathin straightened his back. "Yeah, Honey, why don't you throw some big hunk of dripping meat on a plate, add some thick potatoes next to it, drizzle the whole thing in cream, and then feed it to me? I like it rare." He had a southern accent from his parents. It was just a hint of sounding exotic despite being born and raised in the city.
 
-The waiter's mouth opened in surprise and probably an unexpected interest. It also meant that Wathin picked up on at least a curious interest in other man.
+The waiter's mouth opened in surprise and probably an unexpected interest. It also meant that Wathin picked up on at least a curious interest in the other man.
 
 The armed mage winked with a smile.
 
@@ -76,19 +78,19 @@ Viola leaned closer to Mudd. "Intervention?"
 
 "You didn't have to."
 
-"Yes, I did. I don't have many associations in my life and the ones I do are precious to me. I'm concerned with your well-being but I'm afraid I'm poorly equipped to handle in a more effective methods."
+"Yes, I did. I don't have many associations in my life and the ones I do have are precious to me. Friendship is difficult to establish, as you know. I am also concerned with your well-being but I'm afraid I'm poorly equipped to handle in a more effective methods in providing comfort or empathy."
 
 The waiter came back with a platter. He handed a large plate with seven pieces of pie in front of Able. When he sat down the food in front of Wathin, he lingered for a moment.
 
 Wathin smiled but said nothing.
 
-Viola watched with amusement. Wathin was somewhat of a slut when it came to erotic partners. She wondered how long would it be until one of them was on their knees in the back room.
+Viola watched with amusement. Wathin was somewhat of a slut when it came to erotic partners. She wondered how long it would be until one of them was on their knees in the back room.
 
 When the waiter pulled himself away, he stared at a cup of coffee still on his platter. He picked it up and held it out. "Did one of you order this?"
 
 An older woman came up and held out her hand.
 
-Without looking, the waiter handed it gently to her and then left without a word.
+Without looking, the waiter handed it gently to her and then left without a word and a quizzical look on his face.
 
 The woman sat down next to Wathin. "You shouldn't tease that poor boy."
 
@@ -98,7 +100,7 @@ Wathin shrugged. "Who says I'm teasing? I'm planning on heading right in there a
 
 Eulen favored him with a beaming smile. She was about his age, late forties or early fifties. She had blonde hair with white-tips, an easy smile, and eyes that looked like crystals. When she turned to Viola, her gaze seemed to pierce her. "How are you doing, Love?"
 
-Viola was speaking before she realized it. "We had a fight and he tossed me."
+Viola was speaking before she realized it. "We had a fight and he tossed me aside."
 
 Able and Wathin froze mid-bite.
 

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 title: Options
 ---
 
-Viola used the last of her bread to sop up the meat around her plate. The stake was cooked almost perfectly, with the smokey taste of wood and charcoal instead of the bitter taste of magic. She wadded up the bread and popped it into her mouth.
+Viola used the last of her bread to sop up the meat around her plate. The steak was cooked almost perfectly, with the smokey taste of wood and charcoal instead of the bitter taste of magic. She wadded up the bread and popped it into her mouth.
 
 Knowing the other mages wouldn't ask about her situation was nice, almost calming. She could relax without worrying about the constant questions about the date or her now ex-fiance.
 
@@ -12,9 +12,9 @@ Sitting at the table, however, made her feel like she was sitting in isolation.
 
 Able shrugged.
 
-Viola knew the answer, it was strange that Eulen was asking though. It was her job to track every mage and guard across the city.
+Viola knew the answer. It was strange that Eulen was asking though. It was her job to track every mage and guard across the city.
 
-Mudd looked around with a frown on his face. He sat back. "Probably having sex in the alley behind the restaurant, why? He should be back in three minutes."
+Mudd looked around with a frown on his face. He sat back. "Probably having sex in the alley behind the restaurant. He should be back in three minutes. Why?"
 
 "Just curious," said the older woman.
 
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ Eulen smiled. "Do what?"
 
 Mudd picked up his fork. "They don't last long. Wathin doesn't let anyone in his life beyond a few months at most."
 
-There was a sudden tightness in his face and hand but then he relaxed. Viola noticed but decided to pay attention later, it was rare when Mudd lied.
+There was a sudden tightness in his face and hand but then he relaxed. Viola noticed but decided to pay attention later. It was rare when Mudd lied.
 
 She felt tears rising. "How does he avoid getting dumped?" she asked in a quieter voice.
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ She sighed and slumped back. "My books on the shelves."
 
 The other three mages groaned.
 
-"Always the books," Eulen. "Or covering sigil, losing time keepers, or moving artifacts from one side of the house to the answer. My husband is always putting my guard cloak in the hall closet instead of the bedroom where I need it."
+"Always the books," Eulen. "Or covering sigil, losing time keepers, or moving artifacts from one side of the house to the other. My husband is always putting my guard cloak in the hall closet instead of the bedroom where I need it."
 
 Viola shook her head. It was frustrating. How could she have lost Ravin because she needed books in a certain order. "Is it bad? I have them that way for a reason. Why couldn't he just respect---?"
 
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ The other woman nodded. "Forty-three years now. We got married when I was twenty
 
 "How did it work?"
 
-Eulen held up her hands. "He's a farmer out of Klosten-Meyers. Most of the year we live separate. In winter, he comes into town for the snow. In summer, I visit for a few weeks."
+Eulen held up her hands. "He's a farmer out of Klosten-Meyers. Most of the year we live separately. In winter, he comes into town for the snow. In summer, I visit for a few weeks."
 
 That sounded painful. "How... how can you be apart that long? Don't you get..." She held out her hand before she finished, "... lonely?"
 
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ Eulen chuckled. "The books. Like you, I'm an ordered mage. I plan my magic, I us
 
 "It sounds exhausting."
 
-"It is, but I'm willing to make it work. It doesn't always, I have divorced him three times now." Her smile softened. "But he stole my heart... but only literally once."
+"It is, but I'm willing to make it work. It doesn't always, I have divorced him three times now." Her smile softened. "But he stole my heart... but literally only once."
 
 Mudd leaned over. "He's also a licensed mortician and a former guard. He was Able's old mentor."
 
@@ -82,19 +82,19 @@ Able nodded and returned to writing notes.
 
 Eulen held up one hand. "Finding a mate is exhausting. You have to change your thoughts and beliefs to mesh with theirs. They have to grow into you at the same time. It takes time and hurts."
 
-She held up her other hand. "Being a mage requires growing away from humanity and embracing the arcane. You have to change, alter, and adapt to rules that humans don't follow. It also hurts."
+She held up her other hand and continued, "Being a mage requires growing away from humanity and embracing the arcane. You have to change, alter, and adapt to rules that humans don't follow. It also hurts."
 
-Viola knew the pain of learning new magic too well. When she learned how to mesh with the telepathy network that Eulen helped maintain gave her a headache for a month.
+Viola knew the pain of learning new magic too well. Learning how to mesh with the telepathy network---that Eulen maintain---had given her a headache for a month.
 
-Her hands came together. "To do both? Extra hard. I have to schedule time for my husband. I force myself to pull away from magic to spend time with them just as I find myself giving up spells  when I'm with him. So, I had to create rules for myself. I had to work it out with him."
+Eulen's hands came together. "To do both? Extra hard. I have to schedule time for my husband. I force myself to pull away from magic to spend time with him just as I find myself giving up time with him to focus on my craft. So, I had to create rules for myself. I had to work it out with him because I needed to enforce balance between the two."
 
-Viola frowned. She never thought about being explicit about rules. Maybe that is what went wrong with Ravin? She glanced at Mudd. "Is that why you don't go out?"
+Viola frowned. She never thought about being explicit about rules. Maybe that was what went wrong with Ravin? She glanced at Mudd. "Is that why you don't go out?"
 
 His eyes crinkled for a moment. "I have never been able to relax enough to allow someone into my life. I'm too limited by magic to allow another."
 
 "Me either," Able said from his plate. "Never had sex, never going to."
 
-Viola frowned. She didn't like that idea. As much as her struggle with Ravin, he was an excellent lover.
+Viola frowned. She didn't like that idea. As much as she struggled with Ravin, he was an excellent lover.
 
 Mudd held up his finger. "I don't have a wife but I do enjoy the company of women. I just happen to pay for it on the rare occasions I'm looking for human comfort. Just bringing it up as an option."
 
@@ -104,13 +104,13 @@ His eyes narrowed. "Discouraged, not illegal."
 
 "I never realized that."
 
-"Well, it's kind of rude running around telling people who you have sex with." Mudd gestured toward the restaurant. "Ignoring Wathin's lack of manners."
+"Well, it's kind of rude running around telling people whom you paid to have sex with." Mudd gestured toward the restaurant. "Ignoring Wathin's lack of manners, I prefer to keep the specifics private."
 
-The armed mage came strolling out of the restaurant with a smile and rubbing his hands. "Wathin did who else?"
+The armed mage came strolling out of the restaurant with a smile and rubbing his hands. "Wathin did who else?" asked Wathin looking around.
 
 Eulen said, "Fucking random waiters for a good time."
 
-Wathin grinned. "He didn't mind."
+Wathin grinned. "He didn't mind. Why should you?"
 
 He brought his spear up to his shoulder. He waved. "I have to run, there was a robbery on Oats and Agate. A pawn shop, at least two dead."
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ Able stood up. "I'll go with you, that's closer to my place."
 
 Wathin gave the medical examiner a hard look. "You live in the fucking sewer."
 
-"Well, I live near that sewer."
+"Well, I live in the sewer near that intersection."
 
 Together, they hurried off.
 

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -28,4 +28,4 @@ Eulen stopped half a block away and turned around. "And if he won't honor those
 
 Viola laughed. "I will!"
 
-Make romance part of her life instead of stumbling through it? Viola could do that, she wasn't willing to turn her back on love quite yet.
+Make romance part of her life instead of stumbling through it? Viola could do that. She wasn't willing to turn her back on love quite yet but now she had new ways of approaching romance.