From d22e86756f8c20386e36d45abb6e5c4aba6c10f3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "D. Moonfire" Date: Sun, 9 Jun 2019 01:46:39 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] feat: drafted five --- README.md | 2 + chapters/chapter-04.md | 28 +++++++----- chapters/chapter-05.md | 97 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 3 files changed, 116 insertions(+), 11 deletions(-) create mode 100644 chapters/chapter-05.md diff --git a/README.md b/README.md index bf05637..1d715bd 100644 --- a/README.md +++ b/README.md @@ -29,3 +29,5 @@ This is the repository for *If I Lead This Dance* by D. Moonfire. - Missun - One of the girls at the dance class - Storan + - Galadin's father + - A civil mage diff --git a/chapters/chapter-04.md b/chapters/chapter-04.md index 83d6d71..b021c8d 100644 --- a/chapters/chapter-04.md +++ b/chapters/chapter-04.md @@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ He sighed. "YOu are going to make some wife very happy after all this. Just remember that. Once you are married, then you don't have to wear it again." -Galadin opened his eyes and focused his attention on the window. For the third day of the week, the afternoon was relatively quiet. He hoped to see more debutantes walking by. At least then he could pull himself out the dark thoughts that haunted his mind." +Galadin opened his eyes and focused his attention on the window. For the third day of the week, the afternoon was relatively quiet. He hoped to see more debutantes walking by. At least then he could pull himself out the dark thoughts that haunted his mind. "Galadin." @@ -32,11 +32,11 @@ He heard the rustle of her dress. He glanced over to see her lifting the edge to Galadin listened to the door creak shut and then latch. He fought the sick feeling in his stomach. -"What's wrong you?" +"What's wrong you? I need you to be present." -"I"m here, mother." +"I'm here, mother." -"Yes, physically. Your mind is not. Why?" +"Yes, your body is but your mind has gone on a voyage. Why?" "I'm here. That's what you want." @@ -44,23 +44,29 @@ Galadin listened to the door creak shut and then latch. He fought the sick feeli Galadin lowered his arms as he regarded his mtoher. "Yes?" -"What is wrong with you? You've been acting like I'm sending you to prison all week." She shook her head. "No, ever since you decided to go to the presentations." +"What is wrong with you? You've been acting like I'm sending you to prison all week." She shook her head and gestured toward the door. "No, you've been like this since you ever asked to go the presentation balls." -"You decided." +"Yes but...." Even as a child, he had always wanted to go to the presentation balls. He loved the ritual of them, the pronouncements, the swirl of dresses, and all the events that surrounded the various balls. But when he wrote in his secret journal, he wasn't the suited man finding the perfect woman, he was the woman looking for a suitor. -"You... is that it, you don't want to go? This is the best---" +His mother had somehow found his book though he had hidden it underneath his bed. She must have skimmed over it before she decided he had to go. Galadin first found out when she surprised him with a formal invitation, something that was just outside of a family in their position. He didn't know how she got it, only that it cost his parents to get it. -His chest felt tight but he had to speak up. "I... I want to go, mother." +She gestured for him to continued. -"Then what is it? You'll have a handsome suit. You are going to be stunning and find a beautiful wife." Her voice had softened. "That is what you want, trust me." +He sighed. "I do want to go," he said lamely knowing it wasn't quite the truth. -He didn't know how to answer her. He wanted ot go, he wanted to see the beatiful dresses but the idea of getting married to some woman left him cold. He didn't want to go the ball as a suitor or a besire. He wanted to feel a dress on his body, to have the smile he saw through the window. He wished he was a girl, not a boy. +"You... is that it, you don't want to go now? After everything we've done? This is the best---" + +His chest felt tight but he had to speak up. "I... I know, mother. I know what you've both done to get me here." + +"Then what is it? You'll have a handsome suit, the best outfits. I even have a carriage service arranged. You are going to be stunning and find a beautiful wife." Her voice had softened. "That is what you want, trust me." + +It wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted was to feel the dress on his skin, to be surrounded by a loving family going from one place to the other, to have his name announced to society as an elgible debutante. What he wish was that he had been born a girl, not a boy. "No," snapped his mother. She smacked his thigh. Galadin paled. He didn't realized he said that out loud. Looking down, he saw fury painted on his mother's face. "Mother---" -She slapped him. "No son of mine will ever do that!" +She slapped him. "No son of mine will ever be that!" It felt like she had kicked him in the testicles. He let out a sob and sat down heavily on the pestatle. "I-I don't know how to explain it. I don't want to be a besire." diff --git a/chapters/chapter-05.md b/chapters/chapter-05.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..732a91a --- /dev/null +++ b/chapters/chapter-05.md @@ -0,0 +1,97 @@ +--- +title: lkj +--- + +Galadin's mother stormed into the house, slamming the door as she entered. The magical lock sparked as the door swung back. "Damn you, Stanton! This is all your fault!" + +He winched and continued after her. He felt sick to his stomach and his eyes burned with tears. He didn't mean to tell her that he wanted to wear a dress to the ball, but he didn't expect the fury that followed. + +The carriage ride back home could have been through a frozen wasteland. She had said nothing. When he tried to speak, she had silenced him with a glare. + +Inside, his father looked up from his working desk in the living room. He still wore his normal suit and tie, even when he remained at home for the day. He seemed unpreturmed by his wife standing in front of him. + +"I told you! I told you that would happen if he was near that... that... Benard! That monster turned my baby into a sissy!" She raised her hand to strike him. + +Stanon looked up at her palm, his face impassive. + +Maran swung her hand. + +He leaned into the strike. + +Her palm caught his cheek. The crack of flesh on flesh caused Galadin to flinch. + +Stanton looked at her. "Feel better?" + +"No, I don't!" she screamed. "I hate it when you do that!" + +"Then hit me again." + +She sank to her knees. "I can't," she sobbed. + +His father slid out of his chair and joined her on the floor. He pulled her into a tight hug. + +She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and sobbed. "My baby." + +Galadin inched into the room. There were tears in his eyes. He knew that she was in pain, but he couldn't tell her he would be the man she wanted. He couldn't. It felt like a dam had burst and he had a chance. He caught his father's gaze. "I'm sorry, father." + +Stanton shook his head. "For what?" + +He wanted to say he would go back to the tailor to get the suit fitted but he couldn't. It felt like a horrible lie, as if he had to shove is true self back into a box just to make his mother happy. He sniffed and shook his head. "I... I can't. I want---" + +"No, you don't." + +"What?" + +"You are who you are. You haven't magically changed from a week ago. Every change that you have gone as gradually happened, day by day, year by year." + +Galadin stared at his dad in shock. + +His mother looked up at him. "How can you say that? After everything we've done." + +"After what you've done," Stanton corrected her. "I remember the first day you saw him differently. You were in tears because you caught Galadin trying on that little girl's dress." + +His mother sniffed. "You remember that?" + +Stanton kissed the top of her head. "I'm always paying attention, you know that." + +"What do we do?" + +"Well, first we talk as if our child is in the room." He looked up at Galadin. "And then we ask how you want to move forward?" + +Galadin gasped. Blindly, he reached out for a chair. When he caught it, he found his legs wouldn't move. + +"Well, how far do you want to go? Have you figured out you like men? Or that you prefer to wear dresses?" + +The world spun aroudn Galadin again. He tried to sit in the chair but missed. His hip caught on the wooden arm before he sat heavily on the ground. "You knew?" + +Stanton shrugged. "You can't force someone to be someone else. You also can't force someone to be themselves either. Everyone grows at the rate they need to, no faster, no slower." + +His mother sobbed. "No, no. I can't do this." + +"Really, Love? Does your child's happiness mean so little to you?" + +She looked up at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "How can you say that? It's my son! I love him." + +"Enough to let him live his own life?" + +"N-No. Yes! Damn you!" She punched his arm. + +Stanon shrugged again. "You accept or you fight, those are you only two choices. You already know I accept things, that's who I am and I can't change that." He cupped her chin with his finger. "You accepted what I was when we met so many years." + +She let out a choked sob. "You were such a pile of shit when we first married." + +"I'll admit, you weren't the most plesant of flowers either. Yet, here we are. Your pile of shit." He wiped the tears from underneath her eyes. + +"How can I?" + +"Because we're parents, Love." + +Galadin realized that he wasn't part of the conversation, but he was also on the edge of losing his own emotions. He staggered to his feet and inched out of the room, never taking his eyes away from his parents. + +As soon as he could, he spun and race up the stairs. His throat siezed up as a sob of his own threatened to tear out. He shook with the effort. He managed to make his room before he lost it. The cry rose out of his throat, a terrifying mixture of fear and relief. His parent knew what he was going through, the guilt and desires. + +He had a chance to be someone else. + +Now that he had it, he wasn't sure if he could go through with it. + +Burying his face in his pillows, he let the tears flow.