feat: expanding chapters
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@ -5,6 +5,8 @@ If I Lead This Dance by D. Moonfire
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This is the repository for *If I Lead This Dance* by D. Moonfire.
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This is the repository for *If I Lead This Dance* by D. Moonfire.
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> There are countless presentation balls throughout what is known as the Social Season. The early ones are a show while the later ones are where decisions are made, alliances forged, and enemies earned. --- *The Dance of Grace*
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# Chapters
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# Chapters
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6. Ladies' Fashions (Existing)
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6. Ladies' Fashions (Existing)
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@ -6,6 +6,8 @@ summary: >
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Galadin struggles with the dysphoria of turning into a girl where the image in the mirror doesn't match what he wants to look like. At the same time, he thinks he is getting sick. His father offers to help but does a poor job. Later, his mother interrupts and teaches Galadin how to do it right. Both of his parents make strange remarks about Galadin in the process.
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Galadin struggles with the dysphoria of turning into a girl where the image in the mirror doesn't match what he wants to look like. At the same time, he thinks he is getting sick. His father offers to help but does a poor job. Later, his mother interrupts and teaches Galadin how to do it right. Both of his parents make strange remarks about Galadin in the process.
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---
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---
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> The image painted inside the eyes can be more vivid and descriptive than the pale illustration outside. --- *Queen of Ice and Salt* (Act 1, Scene 4)
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Galadin stared at the mirror with tears in his eyes. Helplessly, he ran his hand through the long blond hair that now flowed down his back. The color and length was perfect in every way, except that now it looked like an uncomfortable boy wearing a wig instead of the beautiful woman he hoped would have come out in the last few days.
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Galadin stared at the mirror with tears in his eyes. Helplessly, he ran his hand through the long blond hair that now flowed down his back. The color and length was perfect in every way, except that now it looked like an uncomfortable boy wearing a wig instead of the beautiful woman he hoped would have come out in the last few days.
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He didn't want to be a boy in a dress, he wanted to be a lady. A beautiful, gorgeous lady that would steal show.
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He didn't want to be a boy in a dress, he wanted to be a lady. A beautiful, gorgeous lady that would steal show.
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@ -6,6 +6,8 @@ summary: >
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Galadin and Maran are in a carriage. Galadin is practicing speaking like a woman in a higher register. His mother stops him and asked for his feelings. Then she shows that when he feels like a woman, his face changes to match. It depends on his emotional state. She apologizes for not seeing it earlier.
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Galadin and Maran are in a carriage. Galadin is practicing speaking like a woman in a higher register. His mother stops him and asked for his feelings. Then she shows that when he feels like a woman, his face changes to match. It depends on his emotional state. She apologizes for not seeing it earlier.
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---
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---
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> It takes years to look casually beautiful. --- Dornit Kesser-Gamp
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Galadin sat on his side of the carriage with his back straight and his hands resting on his lap. He had his eyes closed as he sang softly, trying to get his voice to "slide" into the higher register. He had done it a few times that day but it was harder without the voice instructor right there. The sensation of doing and hearing it correctly was fleeting.
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Galadin sat on his side of the carriage with his back straight and his hands resting on his lap. He had his eyes closed as he sang softly, trying to get his voice to "slide" into the higher register. He had done it a few times that day but it was harder without the voice instructor right there. The sensation of doing and hearing it correctly was fleeting.
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"... and then the ship came sailing, sailing along the shore..."
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"... and then the ship came sailing, sailing along the shore..."
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@ -1,89 +1,83 @@
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---
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title: The Dance
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title: Arrival
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teaser: >
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Arriving at Glorias's first ball through the side entrance wasn't the greatest of plans but it had to be done. Glorias had too many secrets that couldn't be revealed.
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summary: >
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summary: >
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The big night and the first dance. Galadin is attending as Glorias and it is everything she hoped it would be. At least until someone recognizes him.
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Glorias and Maran arrive at the ball well after it started and through a side entrance. After the events in the previous chapter, her family had finally turned a corner and they treated her as a "she" full time.
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---
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---
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> There are countless presentation balls throughout what is known as the Social Season. The early ones are a show while the later ones are where decisions are made, alliances forged, and enemies earned. --- *The Dance of Grace*
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> The ultimate goal of the debutante ball is the offer, where a besire finds the father of the debutante and negotiates a deal for the hand in marriage. --- *The Hidden Businesses of High Society*
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After years of fantasies and days of worry, Galadin's first presentation ball exceeded everything he had dreamed it would be. For the last hour, his dance card had been filled with one partner after the other. He loved every moment on the floor, hand-in-hand with his partner and his green dress flowing in the wide circles of the classical dances.
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The only name she had heard for the last two weeks was Glorias. It no longer felt like a bandage or a mask that fit poorly, but something integral to her life. Somewhere along the way, she stopped thinking herself as a "he" and settled firmly into viewing herself as Glorias, a visiting niece of Maran's from the countryside.
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The last minute dance lessons still echoed in his head as he looked into the eyes of his current partner, an older man with a military badge of honor on his breast. He was easily twice Galadin's age but seemed to be enjoying himself.
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Manifesting her talent was the turning point. After that, it was easier for her entire family to call her Glorias and use the correct pronoun. Her mother had the most trouble though, but it had been weeks since "he" had slipped from her tongue.
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He knew that his mother had been careful about his dance card. No one famous or in the center of attention for the city would be taking his hand. She was careful not to risk the family's reputation on Galadin's fantasy, but somehow she managed to find enough suitors to keep Galadin dancing.
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Glorias smiled and took a deep breath, or at least as deep as she could. The bones in the dress dug comforting into her waist, pulling it into a narrower waist. The excellently-made outfit gave her the appearance of a bust and flared hips. It also made it difficult to slouch, the corset didn't allow for it.
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One of the twirls came up. He smiled, tasting the faint flowery flavor of his lipstick, and let his hand be drawn up to spin around. His heels threatened to twist but he bore down and stepped into it, spinning on the tips of his toes before coming down in perfect harmony with thirty other debutantes dancing. The shudder brought a swelling of joy and he smiled through the tears that threatened to ruin his makeup.
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Looking down, she admired the cream and green dress. It had been masterfully crafted to focus on the parts Lily had identified as the most feminine while hiding the parts that magical makeup, rushed lessons, and clothing couldn't change. She had done a beautiful job.
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"You look beautiful, bedame," said her partner. Galadin already knew that he wasn't seriously looking and there was no chance he would be asking for Galadin's hand. All he wanted was to be seen dancing with one pretty woman after the other.
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Glorias wrung her fingers together for a moment. When her long fingernails clicked together, she remembered the carefully painted tips with little flower designs on them. Delicately, she unfolded her fingers and carefully spread her hands on the fabric that covered her thighs.
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"Thank you."
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Next to her, her mother reached out and warmly clasp her fingers. "Nervous?"
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The song ended with a flourish.
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"Yes. My stomach is fluttering, my chest is tight, and I feel like everything is going to explode without warning." Glorias turned and gripped her mother's hand tightly. "And I think I have to pee."
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Her partner make the customary bow and kissed the back of Galadin's gloved hand.
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Maran laughed and pulled Glorias into a hug. "That's about right. Every girl feels like this when she first goes to one of these balls. I remember my mother holding my hand as I was sobbing in fear the carriage, though it wasn't nearly as fancy as this." She sighed. "Not being groomed for High Society made things easier, I guess, but the potential for greatness is less."
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With a blush, Galadin curtsied and let himself be drawn to the edge of the dance. There was a bit of a crowd but he would be delivered back to his mother.
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Glorias ducked her head and smiled briefly. "I feel a little foolish now."
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While they made their way, Galadin glanced up at the balcony. There were three painters with easels frantically drawing and working their brushes. Two other artists were concentrating on their canvas with a haze of magic drawing colors across the page.
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"No, no," whispered her mother. "Don't feel that. You have done so much and I want tonight to be as wonderful as can be."
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The idea that he would be in one of the pictures of the balls sped up his pulse. He smiled broadly and fought the urge to wipe the tear from his eye.
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"I just wish..." Glorias sighed. "I wished we weren't sneaking into the side entrance."
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Then he caught sight of Dame Dorin, his original dance instructor, looking at him from next to the painters. A pale shiver of fear rose up in the back of his throat as she tilted her head slightly and then hurried down the stairs.
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Maran pulled her into a hug. "I know. And your father wanted to be here, but the most important part is that you are here and you are going to have a wonderful time."
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Turning away, Galadin fought a whimper. Did Dorin notice him? Would she ruin his secret? He focused on not letting his tension grip the fingers of her partner, but his other hand tightened in the growing fear.
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Glorias sniffed.
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Just as they reached the tables, Dorin approached. She had a fake smile on her lips as she held out her hand. "There you are!" She held out her arms in welcome.
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"Don't cry, you won't...." Her mother ended with a soft laughter. "You shouldn't cry though, even if you can fix your face with just a laugh."
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Her partner stopped. "Oh, you are from Dame Dorin's school?" It was a pointed question. There were a lot more than just debutantes by themselves at the ball, there were also all the seamstresses, instructors, and women involved with presenting them. The success of a debutante expanded to include not only herself but those who helped her.
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Glorias reached over and stroked her mother's face. "Same for you."
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Galadin gulped and glanced at Dorin.
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Maran pressed her cheek against Glorias's hand. "I promise, I'm not going to cry. At least not where you can't touch me up."
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She gave an encouraging nod.
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They found out that Glorias could use her powers for anyone and her mother had the same nearly flawless makeup on her though it wasn't subject to the shifting emotions; once on, it remained in place until smeared or removed.
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Terrified that he was about to have his secret revealed, Galadin said, "Y-Yes. I've been going to her for weeks."
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The carriage came to a stop. The narrow window by the driver slid open. "We're at the north entrance, Tadame Kasin."
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Her partner gave Dame Dorin a bow. "Your instructions were impeccable, Taladame Dorin."
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Glorias caught her breath.
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"Thank you, Besire," Dorin said with just a quiver of her lips. Dorin was clear to call her "dame", not "taladame" for a lady who had lost her husband.
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"Are there a lot of people around?"
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"I'll leave your charge in your hands, I have some business to attend to."
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"No, the event is currently in the middle of a dance set. Only a few servants are walking around but I think they are about to head inside. If you wait a few moments, you will be able to get out." Somehow, Glorias's mother had found a carriage driver that was willing to sneak them in; Glorias didn't want to think about how much it cost in terms of price or dignity.
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Galadin's heart rose up in a brief worry. Was he going to talk to Galadin's father? Was his mother wrong?
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Glorias took a deep breath, a nervous giggle rose up.
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Dorin took Galadin's hand and deftly brought him to the side. "He's not going to your father, Love. A pair of his card game friends had just arrived with their daughters and he has his eyes on one of them."
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"We'll be fine, Glorias."
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"W-What?" Galadin's throat felt dry.
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"I know Mother, I'm just---"
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"It was clear on your face."
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"Okay, Von Kasins," interrupted the driver. "This is your best chance."
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"Oh," Galadin wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved.
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In a hurry, Glorias and Maran got out of the carriage. It took them a few frantic moments to straighten their dresses with the fear that someone would come walking into sight. By the time they finished getting everything back and order, Glorias had a few strands of hair that escaped her hairdo and her mother had a mar on her cheek.
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Dorin turned and held Galadin's hand, looking him over. They were away from the others. Her lips pressed tightly together. "So, this is why you stopped coming to my lessons?"
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With a soft smile, Maran reached up and fixed Glorias's hair.
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A deep blush colored Galadin's cheeks. He felt naked in front of Dorin. Slowly, he nodded.
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Glorias used her hand to fix her mother's makeup.
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"Tadame Potsur?" It was the other instructor, a drunk woman who could barely move but knew enough to keep her mouth shut about Galadin's secret.
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They shared a giggle and a secret smile.
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"Y-Yes."
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"Ready?"
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Dorin shook her head. "Oh, she's just... the worst. You should have come to me. I would have helped."
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Glorias nodded. Slipping her hand into the crook of her mother's arm, they headed toward the din inside the estate's great hall with all the dignity they could muster.
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"Would you?"
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"I wish your father was able to come. It would have made this official. If things were different...?"
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Dorin shrugged. "When I can count the number of bedames and besires I'm teaching with one hand?" She sighed. "Yes, I would. It may have taken me a bit, but when I saw you with that... man, I knew there was a chance you went that way."
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Glorias knew what her mother was referring too. They had to sneak in because they couldn't afford the rest of the events. This was a debutante ball where a young lady like herself danced and flirted. If a suitor found her desirable, he would seek out the debutante's father and make an offer of jems, property, or even businesses. It was the exchange, the moment where she would be engaged. Without her father there, the offer couldn't be made. Of course, it would also be a faux pas not to have him present, but the latter was less embarrassing than the having an offer that could not be honored.
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She lifted Galadin's gloved hands and lowered them, "Just not this way. You do make a lovely bedame but some of your movements still scream besire."
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Of course, having a potential suitor find out that Glorias was really a guy underneath the dress would be far more devastating to everyone.
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"I'm sorry." Galadin turned away slightly then he glanced back.
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"No, no, no," whispered Maran. "Daughter thoughts. You're my beautiful daughter, remember?"
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Dame Dorin's eyes grew hard for a moment and then she smiled. "I'll tell you what. You tell everyone that I'm still your teacher and we resume your lessons after the ball. Your form is beautiful but you need to bring your hand more into a curve when you spin. It has to look like a ribbon flowing in the water."
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Glorias realized that she was losing her appearance. Fighting back a tear of sadness, she took a deep breath and concentrated on the feel of fabric on her skin, the swirl of her dress, and the caress of silk.
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She gave a short laugh and some of the attention faded. "Besides, Potsur won't be standing much less attending this ball. A silk lady should always attend the affairs of their charges, that goes triple for their most promising."
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"There you go. Just a little more, my beautiful daughter." Maran smiled. "There, you're beautiful."
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Galadin's heart almost exploded. "You think I'm promising?"
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"I'm willing to steal Potsur's efforts and have you claim your skill as from mine. That is putting my name at risk as much as you are putting yours." She nodded her head and pulled Galadin close.
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Stepping forward, Galadin leaned forward as Dorin kissed her on the cheek. For a moment, he felt like a real debutante but the sensation faded.
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"I'll see you tomorrow." She winked. "I'll make the arrangements with your mother."
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@ -1,43 +1,111 @@
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title: A Breather
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title: The Dance
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summary: >
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summary: >
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The big night continues and the doubt fills in the spaces between the dances. Would someone notice Galadin's mistakes? Would they call him out in front of all of society?
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The big night and the first dance. Glorias is attending as Glorias and it is everything she hoped it would be. At least until someone recognizes him.
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> Doubt is the killer inside the room, the murder weapon that cannot be found. --- *The Troubled Queen* (Act 3, Scene 4)
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> Magic underneath emotional control can be powerful and delicate at the same time. It is dependent on a delicate balance of keeping one's mind framed in a certain state. --- *Techniques of the Crystal Spheres*
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As the night grew longer, the realization of Galadin's situation began to blur his sense of self identity. Was he a teenage boy in a dress? Or was he really a she wearing the outfit she always wanted? She felt dizzy with the shifting sensations that seemed to bounce from one moment to another.
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After years of fantasies and days of worry, Glorias's first presentation ball exceeded everything she had dreamed it would be. For the last hour, her dance card had been filled with one partner after the other. No one seemed to notice her late arrival, the lack of announcement, or that the first three lines on the card were faked.
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In the brief respite between each dance brought a number of other men willing to chat. Somehow, he found a way of speaking without revealing his true nature. It was sad that he couldn't admit he was male but just the rush of wearing a dress and having everyone treat him as a woman brought joy to her heart.
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She loved every moment on the floor, hand-in-hand with her partner and her dress flowing in the wide circles of the classical dances. It was easy to keep the sensation of being a woman while moving, it was everything she had dreamed about.
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However, every time a new man came waltzing up to the table, Galadin was sure they were there to accuse of him being a boy. It twisted in his gut but he managed to keep a smile on his face and speak in a soft voice while looking for the nearest place to run away.
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The last minute dance lessons still echoed in her head as she looked into the eyes of her current partner, an older man with a military badge of honor on his breast. He was easily twice Glorias's age but seemed to be enjoying himself.
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Somehow, their story of Galadin being a country-born daughter masked over the little mistakes that he made. He could feel them but couldn't stop them, much like where to hold his hand when he twirled. However, the rural manors all had their own little idiosyncrasies and no one called him out on those either.
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She knew that her parents had been careful about his dance card. Her father had spent hours poring over the Stonewait's Gallery, a collection of illustration and histories of every politically important person in the area. No doubt, the only names that appeared on the card were ones that Storan had made his wife memorize.
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After the ball, it would be a different story. Neither Galadin or his mother were sure he could go to more than one, so they were treating each one like a glass figurine, to be decided at the last minute.
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One of the twirls came up. She smiled with joy, those were her favorite parts of the dance. She could taste the fruity flavor of her lipstick. With a delicate maneuver, she lifted her hand and stepped into the twirl. Her heels threatened to twist but she bore down and stepped into it, spinning on the tips of her toes before coming down in perfect harmony with thirty other debutantes dancing. The almost simultaneous click rang out across the dance floor. The sound brought a swell of joy and she smiled broadly.
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They had also conveniently left Glorias's name off the registry at the ball by sneaking into a side entrance. That would it difficult for anyone to formally request his hand in marriage. Without his father there, an offer couldn't be made and they hoped it would help forestall any embarrassment.
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"You look beautiful, bedame," said her partner. Glorias already knew that he wasn't seriously looking and there was no chance he would be asking for her hand. All he wanted was to be seen dancing with one pretty woman after the other.
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It was exhausting being two people. All Galadin wanted to do was be a beautiful debutante, but the thoughts and fears made it impossible to truly sink into the role of just a cream- and green-dressed girl on the floor.
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Galadin's mother reached out and gently took Galadin's hand. She squeezed and smiled at him. Her eyes were shimmering and the smile looked honest, probably the first that Galadin had seen in a long time. "Okay, the next one on your card is Besire Rilar. He's sweet and charming, a bit of a dandy, but everyone knows he has his eyes for Bedame Larkimas who is currently stealing hearts over there." She nodded with her head.
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With a nod, Galadin smiled. He knew about Larkimas, she was beautiful and everyone talked about her. From rumors, she already had a dozen offers and her father was almost drowning from whiskey and wines poured into his glass.
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"Thank you."
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"Thank you."
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Her mother smiled broadly. "You are doing beautifully."
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The song ended with a flourish.
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A handsome man came up. He was broad-shouldered with a square jaw. Gold trim marked his black suit, no doubt to show off his wealth.
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Her partner make the customary bow and kissed the back of Glorias's gloved hand. Then, keeping a light trip, he tugged her gently toward the edge of the dance floor.
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A longing filled Galadin. Even though it would never happen, Rilar was close to the fantasies that warmed him at night. He gulped and put on his best smile.
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With a blush, Glorias curtsied and let herself be drawn to the edge of the dance floor. Tradition dictated that the debutantes be delivered back to the table before the next partner arrived. There was a bit of crowd milling around the edge of the floor by they quickly parted with curious looks.
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"Tadame Maran da Kasin de Kamer, I believe I have the honor of being the next dance for your daughter."
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While they made their way, Glorias glanced up at the balcony. There were three painters with easels frantically drawing and working their brushes. Two other artists were concentrating on their canvas with a haze of magic drawing colors across the page.
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Galadin panted softly as she rose up.
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The idea that she would be in one of the pictures of the balls sped up her pulse. She smiled broadly and felt more like a debutante than before.
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His mother smiled. "You are, please enjoy."
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Then she caught sight of Dame Dorin, her original dance instructor. The older woman's gaze was focused directly on her, tracking her movement. A pale shiver of fear rose up in the back of her throat as she tilted her head slightly and then hurried down the stairs.
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Rilar took Galadin's hand firmly and drew her away.
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Turning away, Glorias fought a whimper and felt the feeling of being a woman begin to crumble. Her sense of self, the delicate balance crumbled. She could feel it tingling across her skin as the sensation of being Galadin returned like a wet cloth draped over her. Did Dorin notice him? Would she ruin his secret?
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Galadin couldn't stop blushing as she followed.
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Heart pounding, Galadin slipped his hand from his partner.He focused on not letting his tension grip the fingers of her partner; if the other man turned around, he would notice that the pretty lady he was dancing wasn't quite the same as before.
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They weren't moving fast enough. Galadin wanted to rush forward but couldn't, not without drawing attention to himself. He tried to get his head back into the right frame of mind, to draw Glorias back in and restore his face.
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"There you are!" Dorin came over and pulled Galadin into a light hug. Her voice was cheerful but Galadin could tell it was slightly forced.
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Galadin's grip with his dance partner slipped apart briefly.
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His partner stopped. "Oh, you are from Dame Dorin's school?" It was a pointed question. There were a lot more than just debutantes by themselves at the ball, there were also all the seamstresses, instructors, and women involved with presenting them. The success of a debutante expanded to include not only herself but those who helped her.
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Galadin gulped and glanced at Dorin.
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She gave an encouraging nod.
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Terrified that he was about to have his secret revealed, Galadin stared toward the ground and said, "Y-Yes. I've been going to her for weeks."
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Her partner gave Dame Dorin a bow. "Your instructions were impeccable, Taladame Dorin. One of the best partners I could ever have."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Thank you, Besire," Dorin said with a tightening of her lips. Even though Dorin was a widower, a taladame, she prefer the unadorned title of "dame".
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I'll leave your charge in your hands, I have some business to attend to." He turned to Galadin and kissed his trembling hand. "Thank you for the dance, my dear."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin's heart rose up in a brief worry. As much as Storan was sure everyone on the card wasn't going to make an offer, what if this one decided Galadin was the right one? Would he try to find Storan? What if he couldn't?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Dorin took Galadin's hand and deftly brought him to the side. "He's not going to your father, Love. A pair of his card game friends had just arrived with their daughters and he has his eyes on one of them."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"W-What?" Galadin's throat felt dry. "How did you know?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"It was clear on your face." Dorin caught Galadin's chin and lifted it up.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin wanted to resist but couldn't. She was difficult to say no.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Oh," Galadin wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Dorin turned and held his hand, looking him over carefully. She looked around for a moment and then took a few steps away from the rest of the crowd, giving them space near a column. Her lips pressed tightly together. "So, this is why you stopped coming to my lessons?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A deep blush colored Galadin's cheeks. He felt naked in front of Dorin. Slowly, he nodded. Inside, he was trying to remember the feel of silk but the fear prevented him from drawing the right thoughts.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Tadame Potsur?" It was the other instructor, a drunk woman who could barely move but knew enough to keep her mouth shut about Galadin's secret.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Y-Yes."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Dorin shook her head. "Oh, she's just... the worst. You should have come to me. I would have helped."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Would you?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Dorin shrugged. "When I can count the number of bedames and besires I'm teaching with one hand?" She sighed. "Yes, I would. It may have taken me a bit, but when I saw you with that... man, I knew there was a chance you went that way."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She lifted Galadin's gloved hands and lowered them, "Just not this way. You do make a lovely bedame but some of your movements still scream besire."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I'm sorry." He turned away slightly then he glanced back.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Dame Dorin's eyes grew hard for a moment and then she smiled. "I'll tell you what. You tell everyone that I'm still your teacher and we resume your lessons after the ball. Your form is beautiful but you need to bring your hand more into a curve when you spin. It has to look like a ribbon flowing in the water."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She gave a short laugh and some of the fear faded. "Besides, Potsur won't be standing much less attending this ball. A silk lady should always attend the affairs of their charges, that goes triple for their most promising."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin's heart almost exploded as the tingling sensation danced along his skin. "You think I'm promising?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I'm willing to steal Potsur's efforts and have you claim your skill as from mine. That is putting my name at risk as much as you are putting yours." She nodded her head and pulled Glorias close.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Stepping forward, Galadin leaned forward as Dorin kissed her on the cheek. For a moment, he felt like a real debutante again and a rush exploded along his senses. It brought back sensation of being a woman and it felt like he was floating.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I'll see..." Dorin's eyes widened and then she smiled broadly. "Oh my, that's how you did it."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin, now Glorias again, smiled bashfully and nodded.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"You have turned out to be a beautiful young woman." She stroked Glorias's cheek gently. "I would love to see you tomorrow? I want to hear all about this."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Okay," Glorias said.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I'll make the arrangements with your mother. I'd ask to join your table but I suspect you'd like to keep at least a little attention off of you, right?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Yes, Dame Dorin."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Tomorrow then."
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
@ -1,165 +1,49 @@
|
||||||
---
|
---
|
||||||
title: One Last Dance
|
title: A Breather
|
||||||
summary: >
|
summary: >
|
||||||
The night is finally over, at least for Galadin. The last two lines were empty and no more men were waiting to dance.
|
The big night continues and the doubt fills in the spaces between the dances. Would someone notice Galadin's mistakes? Would they call him out in front of all of society?
|
||||||
---
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
> The homosexual, as an aberration against the divine will of the Couple, has no place in society where it can spread like poison. But like all curses, it remains in the shadows to only poison a few. --- Tantol da Disrobin, *Faith of the Families*
|
> Doubt is the killer inside the room, the murder weapon that cannot be found. --- *The Troubled Queen* (Act 3, Scene 4)
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Thank you, Bedame, for the lovely dance," said the older gentleman looking for a second spouse.
|
In the brief respite Glorias had between each dance brought a number of other men coming to the table for a few minutes of carousing or to request their names be placed on Glorias's dance card. Every time they approach, Glorias was sure they where there to reveal her secret, or to distract her enough that her magic would fade.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias curtsied. "My humble thanks for your company, Tasire."
|
Only her mother's comforting hand underneath the table cloth and a few pointed reminders kept her focused enough to maintain her appearance while spinning her lies about being a country niece.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He escorted Glorias to the edges of the dance where Maran sat with a circle of friends. He bowed deeply to Galadin's mother. "I bring your daughter safe to your side," he intoned the ritualistic words before slipping away. From what he said while dancing, he already had his name on two more cards before the evening ended.
|
As the men left, both of them let out nervous giggles. Every time, Glorias felt like she had survived an interrogation where one wrong word could ruin anything. However, country life was always different than the city and the few mistakes she made were easily passed off as being from outside town.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin gave his mother a nervous smile. It froze on his face when he saw a strange look on her face, an expression he had never seen before. The shimmering tears were one thing, but this was almost sadness, as if she wished they weren't deceiving everyone that evening.
|
That would change after the Social Season, if she made it that long. Glorias couldn't go back to being Galadin again, it felt too right to be there. At the same time, it would be risky for her to remain in the city after the country story faded.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Glorias!" It was the seamstress with three others. Lily wore a brilliant dress that looked like a thousand feathers, each one the prescribed green of the dance yet somehow appeared to be a different color. Her ability to color anything had stunned both Galadin and his mother.
|
To her surprise, she wasn't scared. Glorias smiled to herself and nodded to a passing besire. She was living her fantasy, doing something she dreamed about for years. If this was the only time in her life she could live it, so much the better. Anything, if she didn't have to go back to being Galadin.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
On one side, Kendrick walked next to her with her fingertips resting on his elbow. On the other, a man she didn't recognize held Mindil's hand. The second man looked slender compared to his wife but it was obvious they were in sync by the way their feet stepped in harmony.
|
Maran reached out and gently took Glorias's hand. She squeezed and smiled, her eyes shimmering. "Keeping it in?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Lily pulled Galadin into a hug that wouldn't risk marring either of their makeup. "You look beautiful, my dear."
|
"Yes, Mother," Glorias said with a smile of her own.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Thank you," Galadin whispered back.
|
"Good. The next one on your card is Besire Rilar. He's sweet and charming, a bit of a dandy, but everyone knows he has his eyes for Bedame Larkimas who is currently stealing hearts over there." She nodded with her head toward a blond surrounded by dozens of men. "From the rumors your father heard on the docks, she already has a dozen offers and her father is drowning from whiskey and wines poured into his glass."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"How does it feel?"
|
Maran shook her head in bemusement. "He really does listen to everything."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Like everything I ever wanted."
|
"We asked him to come up with a plan. He's good at that."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
A sob startled her. He looked over to see tears on his mother's face. She was smiling as she held a piece of silk to her lips. "Mother?"
|
"He is. He's a good man."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"You are so beautiful," she said through the tears. If things were different, she would have friends crying next to her but she was alone at the table. None of Maran's other friends could be trusted with Galadin's fantasy.
|
"And a good father too."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
The world spun around Galadin as she looked at her mother; the sense of identity blurred in that moment and it almost felt real. "Really?"
|
Maran kissed Glorias's cheek. "You are doing beautifully."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Y-Yes!" She staggered up out of her chair. Stepping around the table, she grabbed Galadin. "My baby."
|
A handsome man came up. He was broad-shouldered with a square jaw. Gold trim marked his black suit, no doubt to show off his wealth and figure.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin let out a gasp and then hugged her mother back. She could feel her crying, the soft sobs shaking her body as they held each other tightly. "Thank you. Thank you so very much."
|
A longing filled Glorias. Even though it could never happen, Rilar was close to the fantasies that warmed her at night. She could only imagine what it would be like to have his body tight against hers. Gulping, she realized she was getting hard and had to put on her best smile while thinking about ice water.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
His mother kissed her sweetly. "You are so beautiful."
|
"Tadame Maran da Kasin de Kamer, I believe I have the honor of being the next dance for your daughter."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
When they broke the embrace, Lily and Mindil were still there, smiling broadly.
|
Glorias panted softly as she rose up, lifting her hand for his.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin pushed her hair back. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
|
He took it, brought his lips close to the gloved knuckles, before looking at her mother.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"No, its beautiful seeing you two."
|
His mother smiled. "You are welcome, please enjoy yourself."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil glanced over. "Dame Maran, you look alone here."
|
Rilar kissed Glorias's knuckles and the touch sent a ripple of heat along her skin.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Lily's eyes widened and her fingers tightened on Kendrick's hand.
|
She beamed happily as he drew her away for the next dance.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Maran gave an apologetic look. "You can probably guess why though."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Well, we're looking for a place to sit. Would you mind if we joined you?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil's husband lifted his head. "What about our seats---?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil stamped on his foot with her heel. She smiled sweetly. "A mother should always have company when her beautiful daughter is on the floor."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He gulped and looked pained.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Kendrick chuckled. He withdrew from Lily, kissed her cheek, and turned to the other. "Come on, Hasan. I bet we could find some drinks for our wives."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Hasan sighed but followed the other man away.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil gestured to the table. "May we?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Oh... t-thank you," Maran said, her voice cracking. She swept Mindil and then Lily into a tight embrace. Then the four women, including Galadin, sat down.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
As she did, Galadin glanced at her dance card. There were only two more slots left in the evening but no names filled the lines.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
The rush, the point of being someone else faded. He was disappointed but at the same time happy that the five other lines had been filled in. For someone who had presented himself as a woman only a few weeks ago, the fact that five found him appealing brought a smile.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil picked up the card and frowned. "A pity, so few men have good taste."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Do you want to stay?" asked Lily.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, even if I don't dance. I just want to enjoy this evening. I don't want it to ever end."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Then we would be honored to keep you company. As people say, silks should always stand next to their best works."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
As Galadin blushed, her mother pushed a glass of wine over to him. Galadin smiled to herself and then carefully dabbed the tears from her eyes. "This is everything I hoped for."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"So, any cute guys?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Mindil!" chided Lily. "What my lovely friend said is: are you feeling like a beautiful debutante here?" She reached out and took Mindil's hand, holding it firmly.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin hesitated. As much as he loved wearing the dress, he still struggled with being a male or a female. Whenever he concentrated, he thought of himself as Galadin, not Glorias. It was the shifting fantasies, when she was being wooed or dancing where Glorias felt like a woman, not a man. He sighed, his head and heart both ached. It felt like walking out into the sunlight for the first time.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Maran spoke quietly. "You can keep doing this, if you want. I'll help. Your father will too, he always does."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Really?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
She nodded with fresh tears glistening in her eyes. "Yes, I promise." She chuckled. "I knew this day was coming for years. It just... took me a while to realize that I shouldn't stop it. Your father was right. Just don't tell him that, I hate it when he's right."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin started to say something but someone's presence interrupted him. "Excuse me."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
The voice quickened Galadin's pulse. It was Benard. Trembling, he looked up to see the Navy officer standing a respectful distance wearing a sharp black suit.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Oh my," whispered Mindil.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin's heart beat faster as she looked at the broad-shouldered man who stood with one hand held out. He had cleaned up since Glorias had last seen him.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"I wasn't aware that you had a beautiful daughter coming to this affair, Maran da Kasin ho Kamer." He bowed deeply. "I beg for forgiveness for not requesting it earlier, but when I saw her at the table, I realized I had to come over."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
All four of them let out soft sounds.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"I would be honored if I may have her hand for this dance."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias whimpered, her face growing flushed as she stared up. She desperately wanted to say yes, the memory of their touching during dance lessons still bright in his thoughts. The easy way Benard spoke and moved, the firmness that they held hands while dancing, it was another thing she hoped to finally have.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Glorias?" asked her mother.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Galadin didn't know if Benard knew that Galadin and Glorias were the same. He almost said no, but he couldn't pull his thoughts from the smell of his cologne and the electric touch between them. "I... yes," he whispered.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Benard bowed again and held out his hand. The song was about to start.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
When he took Galadin's hand, sparks coursed through Galadin's body. He felt exposed and bared, every part of his nerves burning with anticipation.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Benard guided him to the floor, turned around, and then slipped his hand around Galadin's waist. It was firm and strong.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
With weak knees, Glorias turned into the first position, her hand in a position to be led.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"What do you think about these dances? They are simple enough."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias laughed nervously. "I haven't had enough lesson and Dorin---"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
With a start, she clamped her mouth shut. He didn't want to reveal that she already knew Benard as a different person. Her heart pounded in her chest as the music swelled up.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"I know what you mean. I feel like I've been going to this old lady's lessons forever but she keeps matching me up with women who really aren't..." He smiled broadly. "My thing. You know what I mean?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He winked and drew Glorias around.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias's stomach clenched. He knew exactly what Benard wanted, he was gay and wanted men not a woman. The surreal sensation draped over her as she struggled with who she was. Benard would want Galadin but at the same time, it was Glorias that he was dancing with. Of all the men, of all the possibilities, there was a single possible shred of fantasy that could be filled.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
She may be exactly what Benard had been looking for. A troubling stiffness strained underneath the green dress and Glorias was thankful that it would hide the sudden need.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
The music brought them in a circle. Glorias's dress swirled out in perfect harmony with the other dancers. She felt like she was in one of the paintings that she had admired for years. It brought tears with the feeling of being complete.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Too soon, the music slowed and came to a stop. When a ripple of applause filled the room, the dancers began to drift back to their tables.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias didn't want to leave. She looked into Benard's eyes, wondering if there could ever be anything between the two of them. New fantasies rushed through her mind, setting her skin on fire and quickening her heart. She wanted to be Glorias completely in that moment, to imagine a world where she never had to go back.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"I don't want to leave," Benard said quietly.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Do we have to?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"No," her partner said. "You never have to leave."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias's heart skipped another beat. In that moment, it felt as if Galadin has ceased to exist. All the fear, terror, and doubt burned away, leaving only an intense longing and happiness.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
The musicians started up a quieter dance for the intermission between the formal ones. Normally it just filled in the silence but this time, Glorias wanted to keep dancing.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Benard ran his fingertips starting from Glorias's elbow to her wrist. "Now, do you remember the Fox step from Dame Dorin's class? You were very good at it but I seem to recall you were in the lead at the time."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias shivered with fright and excitement.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Benard gently turned Glorias's wrist until it was Benard taking the lead.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias's breath locked in her throat. She trembled as she looked up into Benard's warm eyes.
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"May I lead this dance?"
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
With a happy smile blurred by happy tears, Glorias nodded. "Yes."
|
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Good, because I couldn't wait to ask for a chance to dance with you tonight. I would be honored to fill your dance card for the rest of the evening, Bedame Glorias kia Kasin."
|
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
@ -1,67 +1,173 @@
|
||||||
---
|
---
|
||||||
title: Months Later
|
title: One Last Dance
|
||||||
summary: >
|
summary: >
|
||||||
Months later, still in the Social Season, but Glorias was done. Her hand had been offered and accepted. Now, she was heading somewhere where her secret didn't have to be a secret anymore.
|
The night is finally over, at least for Galadin. The last two lines were empty and no more men were waiting to dance.
|
||||||
---
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
> There is something about the country, where a distance from judging eyes and gossip fades into obscurity. It was the only way I could survive and still be myself. --- Glorias dea Kasin
|
> The homosexual, as an aberration against the divine will of the Couple, has no place in society where it can spread like poison. But like all curses, it remains in the shadows to only poison a few. --- Tantol da Disrobin, *Faith of the Families*
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias sat on the steps inside her parent's house and stared at the door. Her heart pounded as she silently willed it to open.
|
"Thank you, Bedame, for the lovely dance," said the older gentleman looking for a second spouse.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Despite the weeks of happiness that had followed her first ball, there was still that doubt. Would Benard realize he had made a mistake and void the offer? Would her father have to give back the sizable dowry that had been offered?
|
Glorias curtsied. "My humble thanks for your company, Tasire."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
She tugged on the bottom of her dress. It felt more comfortable than ever before. It felt right, as if she had been born to wear it ever since the beginning. The corset was a bit tight. She had started getting used to the pressure when they decided to make it a little tighter for the last view the city would have of her before she headed out of town.
|
He escorted Glorias to the edges of the dance where Maran sat with a circle of friends. He bowed deeply to Galadin's mother. "I bring your daughter safe to your side," he intoned the ritualistic words before slipping away. From what he said while dancing, he already had his name on two more cards before the evening ended.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Glorias?" Her mother came in. Her eyes were red with tears but a smile glowed on her face. "Don't sit at the stairs like a little... girl. He'll come."
|
Glorias gave her mother a nervous smile. It froze on her face when she saw a strange look on her mother's face, an expression that she had never seen before. The shimmering tears were one thing, but this was almost sadness, as if she wished they weren't deceiving everyone that evening and Glorias was a real girl.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"W-What if he doesn't?"
|
"Glorias!" It was the seamstress approaching with three others surrounding her. Lily wore a brilliant dress that looked like a thousand feathers, each one the prescribed green of the dance yet somehow appeared to be a different color. Her ability to color anything appeared to have no bounds.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"There are no secrets between you two."
|
On one side, Kendrick walked next to her with her fingertips resting on his elbow. On the other, a man she didn't recognize held Mindil's hand. The second man looked slender compared to his wife but it was obvious they were in sync by the way their feet stepped in harmony and the way Mindil's bountiful hips swayed without touching his.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"He's handsome and High Society. I... I'm...." Glorias opened her mouth to finish but the words wouldn't come out. She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "What if he doesn't come?"
|
Lily pulled Glorias into a hug that wouldn't risk marring either of their makeup. "You look beautiful, my dear."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil came strolling in behind Glorias's mother. She beamed as she leaned against the door frame near the stairs. "Trust me, he's going to come."
|
"Thank you," Glorias whispered back.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias looked at her. "It's easy for you to say, you're beautiful. You have a husband who obviously adores you."
|
"How does it feel to be out here?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil looked up at the ceiling and grinned. She sipped from her wine. "More than you know."
|
"Like everything I ever wanted."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
She lowered her glass and stretched out. Her belly strained her dress and the gesture pushed her breasts further up. "But your Benard isn't into big girls like me."
|
A sob startled her. He looked over to see tears on his mother's face. She was smiling as she held a piece of silk to her lips. "Mother? Is there---"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Relaxing, she continued, "He's into beautiful girls like you. Slender, brown hair, and sweet."
|
"You are so beautiful. I didn't think it would touch me, but then just now, I couldn't stop thinking about you as a daughter," she said through the tears. If things were different, she would have friends crying next to her but she was alone at the table. None of Maran's other friends could be trusted with their secret.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias sighed. "With boy parts?"
|
The world spun around Glorias as she looked at her mother. "Really?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Maran made a disapproving noise.
|
"Y-Yes!" She staggered up out of her chair. Stepping around the table, she grabbed Glorias. "My baby. I'm so sorry."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Mindil laughed. "Oh yeah, he likes the boy parts. And the girl parts. And the girl heart and love and joy and everything else. Trust me, he's going to be here. The world may ignite on fire and he will be knocking on that door before the sky burns away."
|
Glorias hugged her mother back. She could feel her crying, the soft sobs shaking her body as they held each other tightly. "Thank you. Thank you so very much."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Excuse me," said Glorias's father as he walked down the hall toward the door.
|
His mother kissed her sweetly. "You are so beautiful."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Where are you going, Storan?" asked Maran.
|
When they broke the embrace, Lily and Mindil were still there smiling broadly.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Storan turned around and shrugged. "The man marrying my daughter is about to pull up in front of the door."
|
Maran pushed her hair back. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias's heart skipped a beat.
|
"No, its beautiful seeing you two."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He continued, "Tradition dictates that we speak outside the door and make a show of how a rich and powerful hero of this city is interested in my daughter before asking her to join me. Then you will come out, say some things, cry a lot, and then we are going to see our daughter leave."
|
Mindil glanced over. "Dame Maran, you look alone here."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
His measured voice took longer to register than normal.
|
Lily's eyes widened and her fingers tightened on Kendrick's hand.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He stepped over to Glorias and knelt down. Taking her hands, he smiled. "You will always be my child. I love you very much."
|
Maran gave an apologetic look. "You can probably guess why though."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Oh, papa." Glorias hugged him tightly.
|
"Well, we're looking for a place to sit. Would you mind if we joined you?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Your mother will be coming up in the beginning of fall to help with the ceremony and I will be up two weeks later. I promise."
|
Mindil's husband lifted his head. "What about our seats---?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Tears running down her cheeks, Glorias sobbed and smiled. "Is it going to work out?"
|
Mindil stamped on his foot with her heel. She smiled sweetly. "A mother should always have company when her beautiful daughter is on the floor. May we?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
"Of course. You are going to have the wonderful life you had always wanted, with plenty of visits from both of us. You won't miss the city that much, but you can still winter here."
|
Glorias blushed.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
He held her hand tightly. "We're going to see you grow old but never sad. It will... it will..." There was a shimmer of emotion in his eyes but it faded. The sight of it burned into Glorias's mind, the day her father almost cried. "It will be glorious."
|
Maran stammered for a moment and then hugged Mindil. "Thank you."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Glorias giggled and wiped the tears. "Thank you."
|
Kendrick chuckled. He withdrew from Lily, kissed her cheek, and turned to the other. "Come on, Hasan. I bet we could find some drinks for our wives."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Storan kissed her forehead.
|
Hasan sighed but followed the other man away.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
Maran rushed in to hug Glorias tightly and kiss her also. "No, thank you for becoming the beautiful daughter we both wanted."
|
Lily took Glorias's hand and sat down. After a moment, Maran and Mindil joined them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
As they were settling down and talking about the fashions, Glorias glanced at her dance card. There were only two more slots left in the evening but no names filled the lines.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The rush, the point of being someone else faded. She was disappointed but at the same time happy that the other lines had been filled in. For someone who thought she would never be able to live even a day as a lady, having five men wanting to dance with her was like reaching the stars. She smiled and ran her finger along the last few lines.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Mindil picked up the card and frowned. "A pity, so few men have good taste."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Do you want to stay the night?" asked Lily.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias nodded with a sad smile. "Yes, even if I can't go out again, I want to enjoy this evening. I don't want it to ever end."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Then we would be honored to keep you company. As people say, silks should always stand next to their best works."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
As Glorias blushed, her mother pushed a glass of wine over to him. As she took it, she lifted the glass. "This is everything I hoped for. Thank you for the wonderful night."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"So, any cute guys?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Mindil!" chided Lily. "What my lovely friend said is: are you feeling like a beautiful debutante here?" She reached out and took Mindil's hand, holding it firmly.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin hesitated. Knowing that the fantasty had to end ached. She wanted to it to keep going, to not worry about a secret or being exposed. Why couldn't she be born like this?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She couldn't go back, that much she knew. Wearing the dress, hearing her name as Glorias, and being told she was beautiful was everything she craved. It felt like walking out into the sunlight for the first time.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Maran spoke quietly. "You can keep doing this, if you want. Your father and I have already talked."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's ears teared up. "Really? I can't."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Yes, I promise." She chuckled. "I didn't know this day was coming for years but I do now. It just... took me a while to realize that I shouldn't stop it. Your father was right. Just don't tell him that, I hate it when he's right."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias started to say something but someone's presence interrupted her. "Excuse me."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The voice quickened Galadin's pulse. It was Benard. Trembling, she looked up to see the Navy officer standing a respectful distance wearing a sharp black suit. He stood at attention with a easy smile that somehow brought an instant warmth to Glorias's cheeks.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Oh my," whispered Mindil. "I like Navy boys."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Shush," responded Lily in a low voice.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's heart beat faster as she looked at the broad-shouldered man who stood with one hand held out. He had cleaned up since Glorias had last seen him.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I wasn't aware that you had a beautiful daughter coming to this affair, Maran da Kasin ho Kamer." He bowed deeply. "I beg for forgiveness for not requesting it earlier, but when I saw her at the table, I realized I had to come over."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
All four of them let out soft sounds.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I would be honored if I may have her hand for this dance."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Maran cleared her throat. "It's... she's my niece... from the country."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He cocked his head and grinned. "Indeed. But even if she's but a niece, she has your beautiful eyes and I would be deeply honored for a dance."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias whimpered, her face growing flushed as she stared up. She desperately wanted to say yes, the memory of their touching during dance lessons still bright in her thoughts. The easy way Benard spoke and moved, the firmness that they held hands while dancing, it was another thing she hoped to finally have.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Glorias?" asked her mother.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Galadin didn't know if Benard knew that Galadin and Glorias were the same. She almost said no, but she couldn't pull his thoughts from the smell of his cologne and the electric touch between them. "I... yes," she whispered.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Benard bowed again and held out his hand. The song was about to start.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When he took Glorias's hand, sparks coursed through her body. He felt exposed and bared, every part of her nerves burning with anticipation.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Benard guided her to the floor, turned around, and then slipped his hand around Glorias's waist. It was firm and strong.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
With weak knees, Glorias turned into the first position, her hand in a position to be led. It was just like Dame Dorin's lessons, except this time it was finally clear her roll.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"What do you think about these dances? They are simple enough."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias laughed nervously. "I haven't had enough lesson and Dorin---"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
With a start, she clamped her mouth shut. She didn't want to reveal that she already knew Benard as a different person. Her heart pounded in her chest as the music swelled up.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I know what you mean. I feel like I've been going to this old lady's lessons forever but she keeps matching me up with women who really aren't..." He smiled broadly. "My thing. You know what I mean?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He winked and drew Glorias around in time with the music.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's stomach clenched. She knew exactly what Benard wanted, he was gay and wanted men not a woman. The surreal sensation draped over her as she struggled with who she was. Benard would want Galadin but at the same time, it was Glorias that he was dancing with. Of all the men, of all the possibilities at the ball, he was the one man would could accept Glorias for who she was.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She may be exactly what Benard had been looking for. A troubling stiffness strained underneath the green dress and Glorias was thankful that it would hide her sudden desire.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The music brought them in a circle. Glorias's dress swirled out in perfect harmony with the other dancers. She felt like she was in one of the paintings that she had admired for years. It brought tears with the feeling of being complete.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Too soon, the music slowed and came to a stop. When a ripple of applause filled the room, the dancers began to drift back to their tables.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias didn't want to leave. She looked into Benard's eyes, wondering if there could ever be anything between the two of them. New fantasies rushed through her mind, setting her skin on fire and quickening her heart.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"I don't want to leave," Benard said quietly.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Do we have to?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"No," her partner said. "You never have to leave."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's heart skipped another beat. In that moment, it felt as if Galadin has ceased to ever exist. All the fear, terror, and doubt burned away, leaving only an intense longing and happiness.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The musicians started up a quieter dance for the intermission between the formal ones. Normally it just filled in the silence but this time, Glorias wanted to keep dancing.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Benard ran his fingertips starting from Glorias's elbow to her wrist. "Now, do you remember the Fox step from Dame Dorin's class? You were very good at it but I seem to recall you were in the lead at the time."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias shivered with fright and excitement.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Benard gently turned Glorias's wrist until it was Benard taking the lead.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's breath locked in her throat. She trembled as she looked up into Benard's warm eyes.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"May I lead this dance?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
With a happy smile blurred by happy tears, Glorias nodded. "Yes."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Good, because I couldn't wait to ask for a chance to dance with you tonight. I would be honored to fill your dance card for the rest of the evening, Bedame Glorias kia Kasin."
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
67
chapters/chapter-13.markdown
Normal file
67
chapters/chapter-13.markdown
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,67 @@
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
title: Months Later
|
||||||
|
summary: >
|
||||||
|
Months later, still in the Social Season, but Glorias was done. Her hand had been offered and accepted. Now, she was heading somewhere where her secret didn't have to be a secret anymore.
|
||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
> There is something about the country, where a distance from judging eyes and gossip fades into obscurity. It was the only way I could survive and still be myself. --- Glorias dea Kasin
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias sat on the steps inside her parent's house and stared at the door. Her heart pounded as she silently willed it to open.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Despite the weeks of happiness that had followed her first ball, there was still that doubt. Would Benard realize he had made a mistake and void the offer? Would her father have to give back the sizable dowry that had been offered?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She tugged on the bottom of her dress. It felt more comfortable than ever before. It felt right, as if she had been born to wear it ever since the beginning. The corset was a bit tight. She had started getting used to the pressure when they decided to make it a little tighter for the last view the city would have of her before she headed out of town.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Glorias?" Her mother came in. Her eyes were red with tears but a smile glowed on her face. "Don't sit at the stairs like a little... girl. He'll come."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"W-What if he doesn't?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"There are no secrets between you two."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"He's handsome and High Society. I... I'm...." Glorias opened her mouth to finish but the words wouldn't come out. She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "What if he doesn't come?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Mindil came strolling in behind Glorias's mother. She beamed as she leaned against the door frame near the stairs. "Trust me, he's going to come."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias looked at her. "It's easy for you to say, you're beautiful. You have a husband who obviously adores you."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Mindil looked up at the ceiling and grinned. She sipped from her wine. "More than you know."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She lowered her glass and stretched out. Her belly strained her dress and the gesture pushed her breasts further up. "But your Benard isn't into big girls like me."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Relaxing, she continued, "He's into beautiful girls like you. Slender, brown hair, and sweet."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias sighed. "With boy parts?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Maran made a disapproving noise.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Mindil laughed. "Oh yeah, he likes the boy parts. And the girl parts. And the girl heart and love and joy and everything else. Trust me, he's going to be here. The world may ignite on fire and he will be knocking on that door before the sky burns away."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Excuse me," said Glorias's father as he walked down the hall toward the door.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Where are you going, Storan?" asked Maran.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Storan turned around and shrugged. "The man marrying my daughter is about to pull up in front of the door."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias's heart skipped a beat.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He continued, "Tradition dictates that we speak outside the door and make a show of how a rich and powerful hero of this city is interested in my daughter before asking her to join me. Then you will come out, say some things, cry a lot, and then we are going to see our daughter leave."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
His measured voice took longer to register than normal.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He stepped over to Glorias and knelt down. Taking her hands, he smiled. "You will always be my child. I love you very much."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Oh, papa." Glorias hugged him tightly.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Your mother will be coming up in the beginning of fall to help with the ceremony and I will be up two weeks later. I promise."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Tears running down her cheeks, Glorias sobbed and smiled. "Is it going to work out?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Of course. You are going to have the wonderful life you had always wanted, with plenty of visits from both of us. You won't miss the city that much, but you can still winter here."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He held her hand tightly. "We're going to see you grow old but never sad. It will... it will..." There was a shimmer of emotion in his eyes but it faded. The sight of it burned into Glorias's mind, the day her father almost cried. "It will be glorious."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Glorias giggled and wiped the tears. "Thank you."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Storan kissed her forehead.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Maran rushed in to hug Glorias tightly and kiss her also. "No, thank you for becoming the beautiful daughter we both wanted."
|
||||||
|
|
@ -31,6 +31,7 @@
|
||||||
"Potsur's",
|
"Potsur's",
|
||||||
"Rach",
|
"Rach",
|
||||||
"Rilar",
|
"Rilar",
|
||||||
|
"Stonewait's",
|
||||||
"Storan",
|
"Storan",
|
||||||
"Storan's",
|
"Storan's",
|
||||||
"Suar",
|
"Suar",
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
Loading…
Reference in a new issue