fix: editing one through three

chapters/chapter-01.md

@@ -4,9 +4,9 @@ summary: >
   Galadin doesn't want to be fitted for a suit, he wants to be measured for a dress. However no one knows his secret fantasy and he is forced to endure the role life gave him.
 ---
 
-> The debutante's best chance to fulfill her role as a married woman comes from the debutante balls where she is presented before suitors of all ages from eighteen to eighty. --- Polistar da Halin, *The Dance of Grace*
+> The debutante's best chance to fulfill her purpose as a married woman comes from the debutante balls where she is presented before eligible men, besires, from all ages of eighteen to eighty. --- Polistar da Halin, *The Dance of Grace*
 
-Galadin sat on the uncomfortable seat of the tailor's front room and stared into the display area for the front windows. Four mannequins with formal black suits filled the area but his interest remained fixed on the fifth, an exaggerated female shape made of wood and reeds. The fabric of her dress rustled with the wind breezing through the open door and he loved how the sleeves moved like ocean waves.
+Galadin perched on the uncomfortable seat of the tailor's front room and stared into front window display. Four mannequins with formal black suits filled the area but his interest remained fixed on the fifth, an exaggerated female shape made of wood and reeds. The fabric of her dress rustled with the wind breezing through the open door and he loved how the sleeves moved like ocean waves.
 
 He wondered what it would feel like if he wore it. A faint smile crossed his lips as he tried to imagine the layers of light material against his skin. Would it be heavy or light? He wanted to reach out and touch it.
 
@@ -28,9 +28,9 @@ She glared but didn't add anything. After a moment, she snapped her fingers and
 
 "No, he isn't fine. He's never fine in places like this."
 
-Quietly, Galadin got up on the platform his mother gestured at, turned around, and held out his arms. As much as he dreamed about going to the annual presentation balls, this was not what he dreamed about.
+Quietly, Galadin got up on the platform, turned around, and held out his arms. As much as he dreamed about going to the annual presentation balls, this was not what he hoped for.
 
-"Arms out," the tailor said in a terse tone. He followed with other directions as he measured Galadin from wrist to ankle, inseam and even around the neck. His movements were rough, the fingernails digging into Galadin's sensitive ribs as he worked his way down a notebook filled with measurements.
+The tailor gave terse instructions as he measured Galadin from wrist to ankle, inseam and even around the neck. His movements were rough, the fingernails digging into Galadin's sensitive ribs as he worked his way down a notebook filled with measurements.
 
 "What will the young Kasin desire?" asked the tailor.
 
@@ -40,19 +40,19 @@ Quietly, Galadin got up on the platform his mother gestured at, turned around, a
 
 His mother pulled a face. "The Kasins are a proper family with respect for the traditional ways." She straightened her back. "We are not people who follow the fashions of the lazy. My son will not be found dead in those... things."
 
-The tailor didn't even pause. He took more directions from Galadin's mother with grace with Galadin standing patiently with his arms outstretched.
+The tailor didn't even pause. He took more directions from Galadin's mother with grace and patience. Her sharp tones didn't even bring a twitch to the old man's face. Throughout the process, neither spoke to Galadin as if he was present.
 
 The effort to keep his arms up began to burn. He lowered them minutely. When his mother glared at him, he forced himself to lift them again.
 
 She rolled her eyes and returned to giving the tailor directions.
 
-Galadin listened to his mother with only half an ear. His opinions rarely mattered but ever since she found out that he wanted to go to the presentation balls, nothing he could tell her would change her ways. As she charged forward in ensuring he would be there as her only son, he felt another shovel of dirt being dumped on what he really wanted.
+Galadin listened to his mother with only half an ear. His opinions rarely mattered but ever since she found out that he wanted to go to the presentation balls, nothing he could tell her would change her ways. As she charged forward ensuring he would be there as her only son, he felt another shovel of dirt being dumped on what he really wanted.
 
 To distract himself, he gazed around the room but found nothing but somber, strict outfits. None of them were appealing, not a single would invoked even a hint of joy in his heart. He let his gaze drift to what he really wanted, the only bright point in the room, the green dress in the window.
 
-Galadin knew that young women had it worse. A presentation was their one and only chance of finding a husband. They were primped, feathered, and trained for years only to be stood in front of eligible besires in hopes of finding a husband. If they weren't selected, they would do it again and again with their prospects dropping with their age.
+Galadin knew that young women had it worse. A presentation was their one and only chance of finding a husband. They were primped, feathered, and trained for most of their childhoods in hopes of being selected by a husband. Starting at age sixteen, they would be paraded in front of eligible besires in hopes to be picked as a wife. If they weren't selected, they would do it again and again with their prospects dropping with their age.
 
-And yet, he wished he was doing that instead of standing in a tailor's getting fitted for a suit he knew he would hate.
+And yet, he would prefer to be fitted for a dress instead of being measured for a suit he knew he would hate.
 
 A group of women crossed in front of the store. It was a cluster of mothers and aunts around a pair of young women wearing cream outfits. They were all laughing as they carried bags from clothing stores, boxes of shoes and hats, and even the remains of a lunch.
 
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ He kissed it lightly, his lips skimming the surface. "Always a pleasure, Maran d
 
 The tailor had used her formal name, naming her father's family of Kasin and her mother's of Kamer.
 
-Maran guided her son out of the store and down the street in a brisk pace. "You need to stop staring at women and dresses, you are a young gentleman now. You need to act like it."
+Maran guided her son out of the store and down the street in a brisk pace. "You need to stop staring at women and dresses. You are a young gentleman now. You need to act like it."
 
 Galadin followed and said nothing.
 

chapters/chapter-02.md

@@ -6,9 +6,9 @@ summary: >
 
 > At the presentation, every step is planned. The choices of dance speak of the politics of the day. The order of the suitors is reflected in the ebb and flow of power. --- Renard Robins-Grace, *Musings of a Failed Society*
 
-Dame Dorin's School of Dance was a small studio on the corner of Apple and Oak. It used to have a reputation of being a great school but time and scandal had whittled away at its reputation until it was nothing more than an old building with too much paint and creaking floors. Dorin's lessons were still cherished and her price low enough for those seeking to enter High Society.
+Dame Dorin's School of Dance was a small studio on the corner of Apple and Oak. It used to have a reputation of being a great school but time and scandal had whittled away at its reputation to nothing more than an old building with too much paint and creaking floors. However, Dorin's lessons were still cherished and her price low enough for those seeking to enter High Society.
 
-Galadin had been going for a month now. Dame Dorin's teaching style was brusque but effective. She had precise ideas of where the hands, feet, and hips all went to ensure a courtly dance in synchrony with everyone else on the floor. Much of the presentation came in viewing the dance from above, where everyone couldn't see their neighboring couple's effort.
+Galadin had been training for a month now. Dame Dorin's teaching style was brusque but effective. She had precise ideas of where the hands, feet, and hips all went to ensure a courtly dance in synchrony with everyone else on the floor. Much of the presentation came in viewing the dance from above, where everyone couldn't see their neighboring couple's effort.
 
 His mother stopped at the entrance. She looked up at a nearby clock tower and hissed between her teeth. "I'm late. Go inside and behave."
 
@@ -46,13 +46,13 @@ Kalir twisted his face and gestured to the door. "Come on, we're late."
 
 The other man chuckled and then gestured for Galadin to go ahead through the narrow door.
 
-Galadin stared at him for a moment, a strange fluttering growing in his stomach. The second man had much of Kalir's handsome features but they were refined with age and a sense of grace. "Um, I'm Galadin."
+Galadin stared at him for a moment, a strange fluttering growing in his stomach. The second man had much of Kalir's handsome features, but they were refined with age and a sense of grace. "Um, I'm Galadin."
 
 "Benard, Kalir's older brother."
 
 Kalir glared before storming inside.
 
-Benard grinned. "I'm afraid my younger brother doesn't care for me. Don't take it personally. I think he doesn't want to be seen with me."
+Benard grinned. "I'm afraid my younger brother doesn't care for me. Whenever I'm around, he's sour on everyone else. Don't take it personally. I think he doesn't want to be seen with me."
 
 "Oh," Galadin said before he headed up the stairs. "Why?"
 
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ Galadin froze when he heard words that reflected his own thoughts only moments a
 
 "I-I...." Galadin stammered.
 
-Benard reached around Galadin. His arm brushed against Galadin before he caught the hand and pulled it open."Here, let me."
+Benard reached around Galadin. His arm brushed against Galadin before he caught the handle and pulled it open. "Here, let me."
 
 A waft of his cologne, a musky scene with a hint of cedar washed over Galadin. It smelled good. It also set off a rapid beating of his heart.
 
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ Benard gestured again. "Please, don't worry about it. Let's enjoy an afternoon o
 
 "Okay," Galadin said in a distracted voice. He felt hot and dizzy. His stomach fluttered as he mulled over Benard's words. Like men?
 
-Inside the studio, Dame Dorin paced back and forth. Her neat bun of light brown hair had a few strands peeking out like a fan. "Three, only three? I can't work with three men. Where are the women?"
+Inside the studio, Dame Dorin paced back and forth. Her neat bun of light brown hair had a few strands peeking out like a fan. "Three, only three? I can't work with only three gentlemen. Why couldn't at least some of the ladies come?"
 
 Kalir looked disappointed. He turned and peered out the window.
 
@@ -90,13 +90,13 @@ He shrugged and smiled. "I earned this, Dame. You know that."
 
 She stared at him for a moment. Galadin could see her resolve cracking.
 
-"We can switch leads, its better than nothing. You and I trade places with the boys." He had a smirk that Galadin couldn't tear his eyes away from.
+"We can switch leads, it's better than nothing. You and I trade places with the boys." He had a smirk that Galadin couldn't tear his eyes away from.
 
 "That is improper." She turned on him. "You might think it is fond idea, but I will not allow you to---"
 
-Benard interrupted her with a grin. "Blame me then. That's how I got here, isn't it? By the way, how are your brothers? I heard they just got out of hospice."
+Benard interrupted her with a grin. "Blame me then. That's how I got here, isn't it? By the way, how are your brothers? I heard they just got out of hospital."
 
-She took a deep breath and let it out, her body shaking with the effort to calm down. When she spoke, her voice was calmer. "You don't have to remind me how earned that commission, Besire. Or that you saved them."
+She took a deep breath and let it out, her body shaking with the effort to calm down. When she spoke, her voice was calmer. "You don't have to remind me how you earned that commission, Besire. Or that you saved them."
 
 He inclined his head but said nothing.
 
@@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ Galadin frowned as he looked back and forth.
 
 Kalir held up his hands. "I'm not dancing with... my brother. I'm not the girl!"
 
-She almost lost her temper. "Fine, you dance with me. You," she pointed at Benard, "start with Galadin and switch roles. I'll give directions to all three of you."
+She almost lost her temper. "Fine, you dance with me." She pointed at Benard. "Start with Galadin and switch roles. I'll give directions to all three of you."
 
 Galadin's heart beat faster. He turned to his new partner. His throat felt dry and constricted. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel the rough skin on his fingertips.
 

chapters/chapter-03.md

@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ Galadin had to concentrate on his dinner for the first time. His mind spun furio
 
 His mother had insisted on a formal dinner arrangement at home. Galadin could see how she held her utensils with exaggerated care. He suspected the  last time she ate formally, it was before she married his father. More than once, he saw her reach for the wrong fork only to change her mind and pick up the correct one.
 
-On the other side of the table, his father worked his way through his meal efficiently and without grace. He used the same fork and knife, shoving the rest of them to the side as he stared down at the table in concentration. His other hand moved in gestured that mimicked the symbols he used for his job as a civil mage.
+On the other side of the table, his father worked his way through his meal efficiently and without grace. He used the same fork and knife, shoving the rest of them to the side as he stared down at the table in concentration. His other hand moved in gestures that mimicked the symbols he used for his job as a civil mage.
 
 "How were the lessons today?" asked his mom.
 
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ Looking up, his father stared at the ceiling for a second before resuming.
 
 "Who? Take lessons with Benard? Why not? He's a Kasin hero." His father shrugged. "Wasn't he just granted a commission? Something about saving a fleet from some fire mages? Made First Lieutenant on the spot. They've been talking about that for days down at the dock office."
 
-"That's besides the point! Your son cannot dance with that man!"
+"That's beside the point! Your son cannot dance with that man!"
 
 Storan shrugged. His eyes glazed over and he began to trace imaginary sigils in the air.
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ Dejected, Galadin left the plates for the cook and headed after his mother.
 
 "Gal?" His father's low voice stopped him.
 
-Galadin turned to see him no longer drawing. "Yes, father?"
+Galadin turned to see him no longer drawing. "Yes, Father?"
 
 "You can say 'no,' you know."
 

chapters/credits.md

@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
+- Bill H.
+- Cuin
+- Nick H. (huh)
+- Shannon R.
+- Aime W.