chore: working on editing

README.md

@@ -5,6 +5,32 @@ If I Lead This Dance by D. Moonfire
 
 This is the repository for *If I Lead This Dance* by D. Moonfire.
 
+# Chapters
+
+6. Ladies' Fashions (Existing)
+  - Work on smoothing over the end, question about cross-dressing verses trans
+7. Dysphoria (New)
+  - After getting hair done, worrying that it doesn't look right
+  - Feeling hot and frustrated
+  - Goes downstairs:
+    - Father is relaxing
+    - They talk
+    - Dad is obscure, knows that Galadin is about to manifest
+8. Transitions (New)
+  - Start showing talent taking place
+  - Coming home from a fitting or something
+  - Mother sees her looking different
+  - Has another of the shifting sensations
+9. Planning (New)
+  - Come up with the plans for how to introduce it
+  - The "country cousin" story
+  - With her talent taking place, it seems viable
+10. Arrival (New)
+  - Sneaking into the dance
+  - Nervousness
+  - Rehearsing the story
+11. A Breather (Old 8)
+
 # Characters
 
 - Galadin (Glorin)

chapters/chapter-01.md

@@ -4,15 +4,15 @@ summary: >
   Galadin doesn't want to be fitted for a suit, he wants to be measured for a dress. However, no one knows his secret fantasy and he is forced to endure the role life gave him.
 ---
 
-> The debutante's best chance to fulfill her purpose as a married woman comes from the debutante balls where she is presented before eligible men, besires, from all ages of eighteen to eighty. --- Polistar da Halin, *The Dance of Grace*
+> The debutante's best chance to fulfill her purpose as a married woman comes from the debutante balls where the bedame, unmarried woman, is presented before eligible men, besires, from all ages of eighteen to eighty. --- Polistar da Halin, *The Dance of Grace*
 
-Galadin perched on the uncomfortable seat of the tailor's front room and stared into front window display. Four mannequins with formal black suits filled the area but his interest remained fixed on the fifth, an exaggerated female shape made of wood and reeds. The fabric of her dress rustled with the wind breezing through the open door and he loved how the sleeves moved like ocean waves.
+Galadin perched on the uncomfortable seat of the tailor's front room and stared into front window display. Four mannequins with formal black suits filled the area but his interest remained fixed on the fifth, an exaggerated female shape made of wood and reeds. The fabric of the mannequin's dress rustled with the wind breezing through the open door and he loved how the sleeves moved like ocean waves.
 
-He wondered what it would feel like if he wore it. A faint smile crossed his lips as he tried to imagine the layers of light material against his skin. Would it be heavy or light? He wanted to reach out and touch it.
+He wondered what it would feel like if he wore it. A faint smile crossed his lips as he tried to imagine the layers of light material against his skin. Would it be heavy or light? He didn't have breasts, would it sag too much? He wanted to reach out and touch it. To feel it against his naked skin.
 
 "Galadin!"
 
-He jumped at his mother's voice. Turning around, he clasped his hands in his lap. "Yes, Mother."
+He jumped at his mother's voice. Turning around, he clasped his hands in his lap. "Yes, Mother?"
 
 "Stop staring like an imbecile at that damn dress and come over here." She gestured curtly to a platform next to her.
 
@@ -24,43 +24,47 @@ He jumped at his mother's voice. Turning around, he clasped his hands in his lap
 
 She glared but didn't add anything. After a moment, she snapped her fingers and pointed to the pedestal again.
 
-"He's fine, Dame Maran," said the tailor. He stood next to her, wearing a suit like the ones in the display area but without the jacket. Instead of a tie, he wore a pair of cloth measuring tapes around his neck. The long strips of marked fabric reached down to his belt.
+"He's fine, Tadame Maran," said the tailor.
 
-"No, he isn't fine. He's never fine in places like this."
+The use of "tadame" was to acknowledge that Maran was a married woman, the ultimate goal of everyone in Tarsan society. For Galadin, he was supposed to work toward being married to a beauty. Then he would be known as a "tasire" while his wife would become a "tadame."
 
-Quietly, Galadin got up on the platform, turned around, and held out his arms. As much as he dreamed about going to the annual presentation balls, this was not what he hoped for.
+That wasn't what he wanted though. When his mother found his journal with his secret fantasies of going, it wasn't as a besire looking for marriage. However, she missed that in her excitement in hopes of seeing her only son entering High Society.
+
+The tailor clicked his tongue. "Lift your arm a little higher. There, you'll be just fine."
+
+He wore a black suit like the ones in the display area but without the jacket. Instead of a tie, he wore a pair of cloth measuring tapes around his neck. The long strips of marked fabric reached down to his belt.
+
+Maran hissed. "No, he isn't fine. He's never fine in places like this."
+
+Quietly, Galadin got up on the platform, turned around, and held out his arms. As much as he dreamed about going to the annual presentation balls, he was rapidly being dragged away from his dreams.
 
 The tailor gave terse instructions as he measured Galadin from wrist to ankle, inseam and even around the neck. His movements were rough, the fingernails digging into Galadin's sensitive ribs as he worked his way down a notebook filled with measurements.
 
 "What will the young Kasin desire?" asked the tailor.
 
-"Black," his mother said.
+"Black," his mother answered for Galadin.
 
 "Of course, there is only one color for a true gentleman. Are you interested in a single-breasted jacket? They are quite popular."
 
 His mother pulled a face. "The Kasins are a proper family with respect for the traditional ways." She straightened her back. "We are not people who follow the fashions of the lazy. My son will not be found dead in those... things."
 
-The tailor didn't even pause. He took more directions from Galadin's mother with grace and patience. Her sharp tones didn't even bring a twitch to the old man's face. Throughout the process, neither spoke to Galadin as if he was present.
+The tailor didn't even pause. Almost everyone in town was a Kasin, that was why the town had their name. He took more directions from Galadin's mother with grace and patience. Her sharp tones didn't even bring a twitch to the old man's face. Throughout the process, neither spoke to Galadin as if he was present.
 
-The effort to keep his arms up began to burn. He lowered them minutely. When his mother glared at him, he forced himself to lift them again.
+The effort to keep his arms up began to burn. He lowered them minutely. When his mother glared at him, he forced himself to lift again.
 
 She rolled her eyes and returned to giving the tailor directions.
 
-Galadin listened to his mother with only half an ear. His opinions rarely mattered but ever since she found out that he wanted to go to the presentation balls, nothing he could tell her would change her ways. As she charged forward ensuring he would be there as her only son, he felt another shovel of dirt being dumped on what he really wanted.
+To distract himself, he gazed around the room but found nothing but somber, strict outfits. None of them were appealing, not a single would invoked even a hint of joy in his heart. He let his gaze drift to what he really wanted, the only bright point in the room, a light blue dress in the window.
 
-To distract himself, he gazed around the room but found nothing but somber, strict outfits. None of them were appealing, not a single would invoked even a hint of joy in his heart. He let his gaze drift to what he really wanted, the only bright point in the room, the green dress in the window.
+A group of women crossed in front of the store. His gaze drifted from the dress to follow them through the window. It was a cluster of mothers and aunts around a pair of young women wearing cream outfits. They were all laughing as they carried bags from clothing stores, boxes of shoes and hats, and even the remains of a lunch.
 
-Galadin knew that young women had it worse. A presentation was their one and only chance of finding a husband. They were primped, feathered, and trained for most of their childhoods in hopes of being selected by a husband. Starting at age sixteen, they would be paraded in front of eligible besires in hopes to be picked as a wife. If they weren't selected, they would do it again and again with their prospects dropping with their age.
+Galadin knew that young women's role was far more difficult. A presentation was their best chance of finding a husband. They were primped, feathered, and trained for most of their childhoods in hopes of being selected. Starting at age sixteen, they would enter a world of elegant balls, spectator sports, and amazing social events across the entire city as they performed for the eligible besires.
 
-And yet, he would prefer to be fitted for a dress instead of being measured for a suit he knew he would hate.
+Despite all that, he desperately wished he had been born a girl.
 
-A group of women crossed in front of the store. It was a cluster of mothers and aunts around a pair of young women wearing cream outfits. They were all laughing as they carried bags from clothing stores, boxes of shoes and hats, and even the remains of a lunch.
+"Are you looking at that Couple-damned dress again?" hissed his mother.
 
-They looked happy.
+Galadin tore his eyes away guilty and pointedly stared at one of the suits. It was nice, but he dreaded wearing it. Whenever he thought about the somber outfits that his mother wanted him to wear, it was as if he was looking at someone in the suit, not him looking out.
-
-"Are you looking at that dress again?" hissed his mother.
-
-Galadin tore his eyes away guilty and pointedly stared at one of the suits. It was nice, but he couldn't imagine himself wearing it. Whenever he thought about the somber outfits that his mother wanted him to wear, it was as if he was looking at someone in the suit, not him looking out.
 
 "Answer me."
 
@@ -72,9 +76,9 @@ Turning to the tailor, she held out her hand.
 
 He kissed it lightly, his lips skimming the surface. "Always a pleasure, Maran da Kasin ho Kamer."
 
-The tailor had used her formal name, naming her father's family of Kasin and her mother's of Kamer.
+The tailor had used her formal name, identifying her father's family of Kasin and her mother's of Kamer.
 
-Maran guided her son out of the store and down the street in a brisk pace. "You need to stop staring at women and dresses. You are a young gentleman now. You need to act like it."
+Maran guided her son out of the store and down the street in a brisk pace. "You need to stop staring at the dresses and start focusing on the women inside them. You are a young gentleman now. You need to act like it."
 
 Galadin followed and said nothing.
 

chapters/chapter-02.md

@@ -10,9 +10,9 @@ summary: >
 
 Dame Dorin's School of Dance was a small studio on the corner of Apple and Oak. It used to have a reputation of being a great school but time and scandal had whittled away at its reputation to nothing more than an old building with too much paint and creaking floors. However, Dorin's lessons were still cherished and her price low enough for those seeking to enter High Society.
 
-Galadin had been training for a month now. Dame Dorin's teaching style was brusque but effective. She had precise ideas of where the hands, feet, and hips all went to ensure a courtly dance in synchrony with everyone else on the floor. Much of the presentation came in viewing the dance from above, where everyone couldn't see their neighboring couple's effort.
+Galadin had been training for a month now. Dame Dorin's teaching style was brusque but effective. She had precise ideas of where the hands, feet, and hips all went to ensure a courtly dance in synchrony with everyone else on the floor.
 
-His mother stopped at the entrance. She looked up at a nearby clock tower and hissed between her teeth. "I'm late. Go inside and behave."
+His mother stopped at the entrance. She looked up at a nearby clock tower and hissed between her teeth. "I'm late to arrange for a carriage. Go inside and behave."
 
 "Yes, Mother."
 
@@ -22,13 +22,15 @@ Galadin watched her until a trio of mechanical vehicles roared pass, obscuring e
 
 "Gal! Wait for me!"
 
-He turned as Kalir, one of his new friends, bounded up the stairs. He wore a leather jacket with an embossed symbol of the Tarsan Navy. Unlike Galadin, Kalir had a letter of commission as a junior officer. As soon as the summer ended, he would be heading to the naval base a few leagues along the coast. Like all officers, he was expected to be married before he gained more than a few ranks. The presentation balls were the perfect time to find a wife for an upcoming star.
+He turned as Kalir, one of his new friends, bounded up the stairs. He wore a leather jacket with an embossed symbol of the Tarsan Navy. Unlike Galadin who was to marry up into High Society, Kalir had already gotten his foot past the threshold with a letter of commission as a junior officer. He had to be married before he gained more than a few ranks and the presentation balls were the best place to find a wife.
+
+Galadin smiled brightly. Dance lessons next to Kalir were one of the highlights of his day. The young man was handsome and attractive. He had a beautiful smile though his interests were focused directly on the ladies of their dance lessons.
 
 "How are you doing? Usually you beat me here," asked Galadin.
 
 "Well, I want to claim Missun's hand for practice."
 
-Galadin shrugged. "You can dance with whoever you want."
+Galadin shrugged. He had no interest in Missun or her sisters. "You can dance with whoever you want."
 
 "But she's the prettiest."
 
@@ -38,9 +40,9 @@ He couldn't explain that he had no interest in either of the girls that took cla
 
 Kalir ran his hand through his thick hair and smiled. Galadin could see why both Missun and Talin teased him.
 
-A surge of guilt rose inside Galadin and he looked away. He knew he was supposed to be flirting with the girls. He spent his time watching Talin instead despite knowing that it wasn't right. When his cheeks began to grow flushed, he cleared his throat to distract himself. "Usually you beat me here" before he realized he had already said that.
+A surge of guilt rose inside Galadin and he looked away. He knew he was supposed to be flirting with the girls. He spent his time watching Kalir instead. When his cheeks began to grow flushed, he cleared his throat to distract himself. "Usually you beat me here" before he realized he had already said that.
 
-"I got distracted and almost forgot to show up." Kalir glanced over his shoulder as a second man started up the stairs.
+"I got distracted and almost forgot to show up." Kalir glanced over his shoulder as a second man started up the stairs. "I almost didn't come."
 
 The newcomer was just over six feet tall. He had a hunch to his movements, magnified by his hands buried deep inside a pair of plain, functional trousers. His deep tan possessed a hint of red; he appeared to be someone who had spent much of their days out in the open. He wasn't quite slender nor was he fat, just thick with the flex of muscles with every step he took to join them. He also wore a Navy jacket, though this one also had a First Lieutenant insignia.
 
@@ -50,23 +52,25 @@ The other man chuckled and then gestured for Galadin to go ahead through the nar
 
 Galadin stared at him for a moment, a strange fluttering growing in his stomach. The second man had much of Kalir's handsome features, but they were refined with age and a sense of grace. "Um, I'm Galadin."
 
-"Benard, Kalir's older brother."
+"Benard, Kalir's older brother. Though I think I'm also the more heroic one at the moment." He smirked. "I like that part."
 
 Kalir glared before storming inside.
 
-Benard grinned. "I'm afraid my younger brother doesn't care for me. Whenever I'm around, he's sour on everyone else. Don't take it personally. I think he doesn't want to be seen with me."
+Benard grinned. "I'm afraid my younger brother doesn't care for me. Whenever I'm around, he's sour toward everyone else. Don't take it personally. I think he doesn't want to be seen with me."
 
 "Oh," Galadin said before he headed up the stairs. "Why?"
 
-"Probably the same reason most of my family hates me: I prefer the company of men in my bed instead of women."
+"Probably the same reason most of my family hates me: I prefer the company of men in my bed instead of women." Benard waved his hand nonchalantly.
 
-Galadin froze when he heard words that reflected his own thoughts only moments ago. He didn't know if he was interested in men sexually, but he knew that he found them far more attractive and alluring than women. Was that the same thing? Or was it just a desire for friendship like his two uncles who live together?
+Galadin froze when he heard words that reflected his own thoughts only moments ago. Love between men was forbidden which is why Galadin kept his own desires hidden.
+
+To hear it spoken casually and openly shocked him. Whatever Benard had done to be a hero obviously gave him the confidence to be open with his forbidden interests.
 
 "I-I...." Galadin stammered.
 
 Benard reached around Galadin. His arm brushed against Galadin before he caught the handle and pulled it open. "Here, let me."
 
-A waft of his cologne, a musky scene with a hint of cedar washed over Galadin. It smelled good. It also set off a rapid beating of his heart.
+A waft of his cologne, a musky scene with a hint of cedar washed over Galadin. It smelled good. It also set off a rapid beating of Galadin's heart.
 
 Nervous, Galadin look at him with confusion. He wanted to ask questions, starting with "why?"
 
@@ -76,17 +80,17 @@ The naval officer inclined his head and then smiled, his lips curling and drawin
 
 Benard gestured again. "Please, don't worry about it. Let's enjoy an afternoon of tripping over our feet instead?"
 
-"Okay," Galadin said in a distracted voice. He felt hot and dizzy. His stomach fluttered as he mulled over Benard's words. Like men?
+"Okay," Galadin said in a distracted voice. He felt hot and dizzy. His stomach fluttered as he mulled over Benard's words.
 
-Inside the studio, Dame Dorin paced back and forth. Her neat bun of light brown hair had a few strands peeking out like a fan. "Three, only three? I can't work with only three gentlemen. Why couldn't at least some of the ladies come?"
+Inside the studio, Dame Dorin paced back and forth. Her neat bun of light brown hair had a few strands peeking out like a fan. "Three, only three? I can't work with only three gentlemen. Why couldn't at least some of the ladies come? They can't all be indisposed."
 
 Kalir looked disappointed. He turned and peered out the window.
 
-Dorin grumbled for a moment. "They aren't coming, Besire Kalir. All three of them had a case of... bad food and are too sick to learn how to dance. Damn the Couple, I can't reschedule this. There are far too many lessons before the balls."
+Dorin grumbled for a moment. "They aren't coming, Besire Kalir. They appear to have a case of... bad food and are too sick to learn how to dance. Damn the Couple, I can't reschedule this. There are far too many lessons before the balls."
 
 Benard stepped up next to Galadin. His body heat and scent washed over Galadin again, sending little flutters from their closeness. "Then you be one of the partners."
 
-She narrowed a glare at him. "You should have remained on the sea."
+She narrowed a glare at him. "You should have stayed on the sea like a man of your..." Her eyes scanned him over. "... nature."
 
 He shrugged and smiled. "I earned this, Dame. You know that."
 
@@ -110,10 +114,10 @@ Kalir held up his hands. "I'm not dancing with... my brother. I'm not the girl!"
 
 She almost lost her temper. "Fine, you dance with me." She pointed at Benard. "Start with Galadin and switch roles. I'll give directions to all three of you."
 
-Galadin's heart beat faster. He turned to his new partner. His throat felt dry and constricted. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel the rough skin on his fingertips.
+Galadin's heart beat faster. He turned to his new partner. His throat felt dry and constricted. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel the rough skin on his fingertips. No girl had ever made him feel that way and he felt foolish for not realizing it.
 
 Benard smiled warmly and gave a little bow. His smile was hard to look away from. He seemed more comfortable with himself than anyone Galadin had known, as if he had chosen his body and wore it like a well-tailored suit.
 
-Galadin felt a little jealousy. He didn't feel the same about his body. It was wrong, it didn't fit. He couldn't say why, only that he was uncomfortable with the man in the mirror.
+Galadin felt a little jealousy. He didn't feel the same about his body. It was wrong, it didn't fit. He couldn't say why, only that he was uncomfortable inside his own skin.
 
 "Now, the first dance we're going to do the Fox Square," announced Dorin. "Start with Galadin and Kalir in the lead. Lift your right hand up, palm up...."

chapters/chapter-03.md

@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ On the other side of the table, his father worked his way through his meal effic
 
 "I heard the Tifin girls were sick."
 
-"They were. We had to use each other as partners."
+"They were. We had to use each other as partners." He thought about Benard's body next to his and found himself struggling with an erection. He cleared his throat and brought his hand under the table to adjust his napkin.
 
 His mother's grip on her fork tightened. "Really?" she said in a wary tone.
 
@@ -28,11 +28,11 @@ His father stirred and leaned toward Galadin's mother. "I thought there were two
 
 His mother glared at him.
 
-"What? I was paying attention," his father said with a wry smile. His eyes followed a heartbeat later as he smiled wider.
+"What? I was paying attention," his father said with a wry smile. His eyes followed a heartbeat later as he smiled wider and the edges of his eyes crinkled.
 
 "There were." She turned back to Galadin. "Who was the third? The dame?"
 
-"No, um, his name was...." Galadin didn't know why he stalled. "Benard kia Kasin."
+"No, um, his name was...." Galadin knew he was stalling but couldn't let her know. "Benard kia Kasin."
 
 His mother's face paled. "No," she said.
 
@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ Looking up, his father stared at the ceiling for a second before resuming.
 
 "No, you don't do that. Storan, he can't do that."
 
-"Who? Take lessons with Benard? Why not? He's a Kasin hero." His father shrugged. "Wasn't he just granted a commission? Something about saving a fleet from some fire mages? Made First Lieutenant on the spot. They've been talking about that for days down at the dock office."
+"Who? Take lessons with Benard? Why not? He's a Kasin hero." His father shrugged. "He just granted a commission? Something about saving a fleet from some fire mages? Made First Lieutenant on the spot. They've been talking about that for days down at the dock office."
 
 "That's beside the point! Your son cannot dance with that man!"
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ She took a short breath. "Besides, we need to get you fitted for a proper top ha
 
 Galadin fought back a wave of disappointment. Benard was the only thing he enjoyed about the day. Everything else reminded him that he was being forced into a role he didn't want. Why did he have to go to the dance in a suit? Why did he have to find a woman?
 
-He wondered about Benard's words. Was that a possibility? To find a man instead? The thought warmed him.
+He wondered about Benard's words. Was that a possibility? Could he just like men like Benard? The thought warmed him and gave a little hope.
 
 His mother pointedly look at her husband. "Well?"
 

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ He sighed. "I do want to go," he said lamely knowing it wasn't quite the truth.
 
 His chest felt tight but he had to speak up. "I... I know, Mother. I know what you've both had to do to get me here."
 
-"Then what is it?  You'll have a handsome suit, the best outfits. I even have a carriage service arranged. You are going to be stunning and find a beautiful wife." Her voice had softened. "That is what you want, trust me."
+"Then what is it?  You'll have a handsome suit, the best outfits. I even have a carriage service arranged. You are going to be stunning and find a beautiful wife." Her voice had softened. "That is what you want, trust me. You are going to have a life neither that I couldn't have, a life in High Society."
 
 It wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted was to feel the dress on his skin, to be surrounded by a loving family going from one place to the other, to have his name announced to society as an eligible debutante. What he wish was that he had been born a girl, not a boy.
 
@@ -82,15 +82,21 @@ She stepped back, one hand on her chest and her face paling.
 
 Sniffing, Galadin knew that she would do it. A thousand jems would mean nothing if he did what she wanted. But it still wouldn't be what his heart wanted. He thought about his father's words from the night before. If he wanted to be happy, he had to make the choices for his life. Heart pounding and his stomach twisting, he spoke quickly, "I don't want to wear a suit, Mother. It doesn't matter how it's made, it's the suit itself. It's the role that I don't want."
 
+He gulped. "It's a body I don't want."
+
 "But... a dress? Why? Why would you do that to me?"
 
 He glanced at the green dress. He worked his mouth while shaking his head. He pointed to it and then to a debutante walking in front of the glass with her mother. "That's me. That's what I want."
 
 "No." Maran shook her head. "No! I will not allow it!"
 
-"I know."
+"I---"
 
-She turned for a moment, sniffing. When she looked back, there were tears in her eyes. "Why? What did I do wrong?"
+She snapped up her hand to block him.
+
+He grew silent.
+
+She turned away for a moment, sniffing. When she looked back, there were tears in her eyes. "Why? What did I do wrong?"
 
 "Nothing, I... I've always wanted---"
 

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and sobbed. "My baby. What is wrong w
 
 Galadin inched into the room. There were tears in his eyes. Guilt hummed inside him, guilt that there was something wrong and regret that he wanted something he couldn't have. He knew that she was in pain, but he couldn't tell her he would be the man she wanted. He couldn't. It felt like a dam had burst and he had a chance. He caught his father's gaze. "I'm sorry, Father."
 
-Stanton gave him an impassive look, one of innocent confusion that he wore when fighting. "For what?"
+Stanton gave him an impassive look, one of innocent confusion that he wore when fighting or when someone was emotional near him. "For what?"
 
 He wanted to say he would go back to the tailor to get the suit fitted but he couldn't. It felt like a horrible lie, as if he had to shove is true self back into a box just to make his mother happy. He sniffed and shook his head. "I... I can't. I want---"
 
@@ -52,9 +52,9 @@ He wanted to say he would go back to the tailor to get the suit fitted but he co
 
 Galadin stared at his dad in shock.
 
-His mother looked up at him. "How can you say that? After everything we've done."
+His mother looked up at him. "How can you say that? After everything we've done?"
 
-"After what you've done," Stanton corrected her. "I remember the first day you saw him differently. You were in tears because you caught Galadin trying on that little girl's dress."
+"After what you've done," Stanton corrected her. "I remember the first day you saw him differently. You were in tears because you caught Galadin trying on that little girl's dress. He always wanted to wear his cousin's dresses and skirts, remember?"
 
 His mother sniffed. "You remember that?"
 
@@ -66,11 +66,11 @@ Stanton kissed the top of her head. "I'm always paying attention, you know that.
 
 Galadin gasped. Blindly, he reached out for a chair. When he caught it, he found his legs wouldn't move.
 
-"Have you figured out you like men? Or that you prefer to wear dresses?"
+"Have you figured out you like men? Or do you still think you just prefer to wear dresses?"
 
-The world spun around Galadin again. He tried to sit in the chair but missed. His hip caught on the wooden arm before he sat heavily on the ground. "You knew?"
+An image of Benard rose up followed by a sudden heat across his cheeks. The world spun around Galadin again. He tried to sit in the chair but missed. His hip caught on the wooden arm before he sat heavily on the ground. "You knew?"
 
-Stanton shrugged. "As I said, I'm always paying attention. I also know you can't force someone to be someone else. Wishes, dreams, and actions will never speed up the process either. I didn't think you knowing that I guessed would have helped; either you would have raged against it or threw yourself too fast."
+Stanton shrugged. "As I said, I'm always paying attention. I also know you can't force someone to be someone else. Wishes, dreams, and actions will never speed up the process either. I didn't think you knowing that I guessed would have helped; either you would have raged against it or threw yourself into the role too fast."
 
 "Maybe I would have not felt like a monster," whispered Galadin.
 
@@ -98,11 +98,11 @@ She let out a choked sob. "You were such a pile of shit when we first married."
 
 "But, he's a boy."
 
-His father smiled to his wife. "Let's change that. We can pull favors. My mother might take a bit of convincing after getting the invitation but I'm sure all three of us can convince her. We make a new list, find new instructors, get a dress." He smiled broadly. "That is something I'm very good at doing."
+His father smiled to his wife. "Let's change that. We can pull favors. My mother might take a bit of convincing after getting that invitation but I'm sure all three of us can convince her. We make a new list, find new instructors, get a dress." He smiled broadly. "That is something I'm very good at doing."
 
 She sniffed as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "Just like that?"
 
-He kissed her on the nose, and then on the brow. "We will move the world for our child, right?"
+He kissed her on the nose, and then on the brow. "When we held our child, we said we would move the world, right?"
 
 Galadin realized that he wasn't part of the conversation, but he was also on the edge of losing his own emotions. His father, though confusing to understand, seemed to have done exactly what he said, he took on the fury of his mother. He staggered to his feet and inched out of the room, never taking his eyes away from his parents.
 

chapters/chapter-06.md

@@ -1,5 +1,5 @@
 ---
-title: "Ladies' Fashions"
+title: Ladies' Fashions
 summary: >
   With a new plan in place, Galadin finds himself in front of seamstress willing to make the one thing he craved the most: a dress. It would be the first step in attending the ball as a debutante instead of a suitor.
 ---
@@ -12,6 +12,12 @@ Outside, rain splattered loudly across the carriage, drumming across the wooden
 
 He glanced around the other windows, half afraid they had headed to the docks to throw him on a boat as an embarrassment. The rest of the surrounding buildings were clothiers, milliners, and shoemakers. It didn't look or smell like the docks. He leaned back with a soft sigh of relief.
 
+*POINT*
+
+The relief with filled with a strange excitement, a hope that had began to bubble up as
+
+*POINT*
+
 "Are you sure about this?"
 
 Galadin jumped at his mother's sudden question. He looked to see her sitting primly on her bench. Her straight back revealed her discomfort. She didn't want to be there.
@@ -72,7 +78,7 @@ Galadin ducked his head and went inside.
 
 Two women greeted him. One was slender with blonde hair so brilliant it looked white and an elegant dress that made Galadin instantly jealous. He could have sworn he was looking at one of the many pictures that hung on the ball walls. She was almost exactly what Galadin fantasized about becoming.
 
-The second woman was fat and just as beautiful. Her dress threatened to burst from the breasts underneath, the deep valley of her cleavage no doubt drawing the attention of any man nearby. Her wide hips swayed with her steps as she came up to Galadin and his mother. "Welcome to Lily's. I'm Mindil da Kasin ho Pavin."
+The second woman was fat and just as beautiful. Her dress threatened to burst along her bust and hips. The deep valley of her cleavage no doubt drawing the attention of any man nearby. Her wide hips swayed with her steps as she came up to Galadin and his mother. "Welcome to Lily's. I'm Mindil da Kasin ho Pavin."
 
 Maran pulled a face and jerked her attention to the side. "Lily?"
 
@@ -84,9 +90,13 @@ Lily glanced at Galadin. "You mean your daughter?"
 
 Galadin flinched.
 
-"Yes, he decided he wanted to go as a debutante," his mother said with a sound of disgust.
+*POINT*
 
-Galadin flushed and considered running away.
+"Yes, he decided he wanted to go as a debutante and not as a proper man," his mother said with a sound of disgust. She took a deep breath and let it out with a grunt. "I'm willing... to allow his I'm willing to allow this deception, but I'm not entirely happy with it."
+
+*POINT*
+
+Galadin flushed. He glanced at the door to the store and wondered how far he would make it before someone caught him. A tremor coursed along his hands as he pressed his palms to his side.
 
 The smile on Lily's lips didn't move. She gestured to the back room. "Why don't we get you measured. Mindil? Please get the dame a bottle of the Kaber '32? I heard that she enjoys that vintage."
 

language.json

@@ -45,6 +45,8 @@
 		"jems",
 		"kia",
 		"sigils",
-		"taladame"
+		"tadame",
+		"taladame",
+		"tasire"
 	]
 }