fix: editing five

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -17,9 +17,9 @@ Linsan stopped. Wiping her forehead, she turned and sat heavily down on the stai
 
 She panted in discomfort and looked at the empty street. Fortunately, they lived on the edge of town and she only got a few curious stares on her walk home. It didn't help that most of them were double-takes and gasps of surprise. No doubt she was already the subject of gossip.
 
-As much as she hated Brook for mocking her, the other girl was right. The only reason they survived was her mother's singing and dancing. Her reputation kept them on the edge of comfort. Dukan didn't have that, he worked hard to keep a roof over his three girls.
+As much as she hated Brook for mocking her, the other girl was right. The only reason they survived was her mother's singing and dancing. Her reputation kept them on the edge of comfort. Dukan didn't have that steady income. He had worked hard to keep a roof over his three girls. Over the years, he had managed to take his skill coordinating contracts and wrangling suppliers into getting a license to run his own bank in the center of town.
 
-Neither of them could afford an embarrassment. She rubbed her aching jaw and shook her head. It was best just to pretend the fight had never happened.
+Now, neither of them could afford an embarrassment. She rubbed her aching jaw and shook her head. It was best just to pretend the fight had never happened.
 
 Linsan glanced at the violin. She wanted to see if the strange magic happened if she played it again. She was also scared that it wouldn't. Worrying her bottom lip, she shook her head and promised to try it again when she headed back to the valley. After the fight, she was sure Brook wouldn't try to interrupt again.
 
@@ -31,11 +31,11 @@ A loud grinding noise echoed down the street.
 
 She froze with a feeling of dread. She had heard of the new vehicles in town and there were only a few people who could afford the expensive machines. One of them was Dukan. With a groan, she watched the column of steam as it approached steadily from a few blocks away.
 
-There were a thousand things she could have done, but none of them seemed to come to mind as the large-wheeled vehicle came to a rumbling halt in front of the house. It was monstrous thing, unnatural and harsh looking.
+There were a thousand things she could have done, but none of them seemed to come to mind as the large-wheeled vehicle came to a rumbling halt in front of the house. It was monstrous thing, unnatural and harsh looking. The entire thing was black with gold trim everywhere. Near the hood, there was an intricate design of a pair of black clouds on a plaque along with some names and a year, 1842.
 
-The two riders weren't people Linsan didn't want to meet either. Dukan got out first, his black suit glistening from the steam that clung to the fabric. He pulled a pair of goggles off his face and snapped them to the side. Flecks of water splattered onto the cobblestones.
+The two riders weren't people Linsan wanted to meet either. Dukan got out first, his black suit glistening from the steam that clung to the fabric. He pulled a pair of goggles off his face and snapped them to the side. Flecks of water splattered onto the cobblestones.
 
-Brook slipped off her side of the car. Her shoulders were slumped and her new dress damp across her body. She wore a deep green color but the ruffles were all limp and dripping.
+Brook slipped off her side of the car. Her shoulders were slumped and her new dress was damp across her body. She wore a deep green color but the ruffles were all limp and dripping.
 
 Dukan strode up the walk. "Lin! You look beaut...." His voice trailed off as he got closer. "Actually, you look like you've been in a pretty nasty fight. Brook did a number on you, didn't she?"
 
@@ -59,9 +59,11 @@ Linsan shook her head. "No, she's just left for another tour of *My Fairest Rose
 
 Dukan ran his hand along his short, dark hair. He smiled and shrugged. "Pity. I haven't had a chance to hear that play. I've always loved watching her dance."
 
+"This is the third season," Broke muttered.
+
 He seemed lost for a moment. Then he smiled brightly. "Your dad in?"
 
-"Probably. I haven't been in but he's always in the study at this time of day."
+"Probably. I haven't been home long but he's always in the study at this time of day."
 
 Dukan turned to his daughter. "Stay out here and try not to ruin your dress. I'm going to talk to Sian and see if we can smooth this over." He pointed at her. "No fighting."
 
@@ -97,7 +99,7 @@ Linsan rushed forward with her anger, shoving forward with her body.. "You're th
 
 Ready this time, Linsan shoved back with her foot to catch herself before she hit the step. She hiked herself up and shifted to the side so she wouldn't fall. When she came down, she used the momentum to plant her hands on Brook's shoulders and shove with all her might. "We lost everything!"
 
-Brook stumbled back into the grass. Her ankle turned and she let out a hiss before hopping further away. "That was just a burnt out pass, I'm talking about my future!"
+Brook stumbled back into the grass. Her ankle turned and she let out a hiss before hopping further away. "That was just a burnt out forest, I'm talking about my future!"
 
 She started forward but then cringed when her foot struck the ground. "I was supposed to have a pretty power, a silk! Now, every time I clap my hands, every Couple-damned window cracks!" She was no longer hissing, but screaming at the top of her lungs. "What kind of man is going to want a wife who can break walls!"
 
@@ -147,11 +149,11 @@ Sian nodded. "Yeah, never been played."
 
 Even though he didn't say it, Linsan could see her father die a little when he spoke. His eyes shimmered with tears for a moment before he wiped them with the back of his hand.
 
-Dukan looked confused. "It's a virgin Sterlig, Sian. Selling that would get you millions of crowns. Why are you working when that thing could set you for life."
+Dukan looked confused. "It's a virgin Sterlig, Sian. Selling that would get you millions of crowns. Why are you working when that thing could set you for life?"
 
 Sian shook his head. "It's Marin, Dukan. You know that. She was Tis's first wife and she married my second. There isn't another person closer to both of us than her. How could I just... throw that away for some money?"
 
-With a sigh, Dukan returned to Sian. He took the first step up to grab Linsan's father's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Forgive me. I remember Marin and I should have never asked."
+With a sigh, Dukan returned to Sian. He took the first step up to grab Linsan's father's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Forgive me. Marin was my friend too. I should have never asked."
 
 Sian nodded but said nothing.
 
@@ -163,11 +165,11 @@ Dukan patted Sian's hand a few more times before he backed down the stairs until
 
 Her father nodded. "Thank you, Dukan. I'm sorry for everything."
 
-"No one could have known that the fire would destroy everything. However, it's obvious that I've obviously drifted from your life in the last eight years. I apologize for that." He glanced at Linsan. "Look, I have a good life and a bit of money. How about I set up a patronage for you?"
+"No one could have known that the fire would destroy everything. However, it's obvious that I've obviously drifted from your life in the last eight years. I apologize for that." He glanced at Linsan. "Look, I have a good run of luck lately and life is pretty good. Not to mention, money isn't as tight as it used to be. How about I set up a patronage for you?"
 
 Sian pulled a face. "Dukan, I'm honored but---"
 
-Dukan held up his hand. "No, I worked for your father and you for my entire life until that point. You were always good men and a good family. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if to give your daughter something."
+Dukan held up his hand. "No, I worked for both you and your father for my entire life until that point. You were always good men and a good family. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if to give your daughter something."
 
 Linsan inhaled with surprise. She glanced at Brook who looked hurt and just as surprise as herself.
 
@@ -181,7 +183,7 @@ Then he turned back to her father. "I'm moving... to the other side of town. I b
 
 Sian nodded.
 
-Linsan looked back. Brook obviously didn't know about that.
+Linsan looked back. Judging from Brook's expression, she obviously didn't know about the move.
 
 "I'm sorry, but this probably means we're aren't going to see much of each other again."
 
@@ -189,7 +191,7 @@ Linsan could feel the profound sadness. Over the years, she's seen her father's
 
 "I understand, Duk." Sian sighed and nodded.
 
-"Please, let me help. At least until she's done with school. Maybe a few years after that."
+"Please, let me help. At least until she's done with school. Maybe a few years after that?"
 
 With tears rolling down his cheeks, Sian nodded again.
 
@@ -215,6 +217,10 @@ Her father stopped moving for a moment, then he turned and opened the door. "Com
 
 She cringed. "Yes."
 
-"Then it would take the Couples walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing that instrument. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you."
+"Then it would take the Couples walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing that instrument. After all, you've been teaching yourself on the sly for months. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you properly."
 
-She gaped in surprise. Then she gathered her ruined case and headed up the stairs.
+She gaped in surprise.
+
+He raised an eyebrow and he smirked. "Your mother is a magnificent creature on the stage but her improv has always been weak. Come on. I also have to write a letter to your mother."
+
+Surprised and delighted, Linsan gathered her ruined case and headed up the stairs.