fix: editing four

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ teaser: >
     As Linsan frequently did, she visited the family's ruins after school. The spot gave her peace despite everything they had lost. However, a bully from school, Dukan's daughter Brook, shows up.
 ---
 
-> Time is the only determination when stress ignites the first manifestations of power. Is the degree of emotion and the threat of life that determines the nature and measure of the power that comes forth. --- Jakor Habir-Nos, _Threats of the Children of Power_
+> Time is the only determination when stress ignites the first manifestations of power. Is the degree of emotion and the threat of life that determines the nature and measure of the power that comes forth. --- Jakor Habir-Nos, _Threats of the Children with Power_
 
 Linsan always loved the first week of spring. As she walked along the overgrown road, she admired the new buds sprouting on the tree branches and the leaves just pushing up through the thick mat of rotted leaves. The smells of the forest were coming to life, thawed out by the early season.
 
@@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ With every passing second, the world grew brighter. The canopy ahead of her open
 
 By the time she reached the curve, the world had changed. Gone were the old growth woods and the rich smells of history. They were replaced by the bright colors of the sun-drenched valley with few plants taller than herself. Where there used to be spruce and maple, there was nothing more than grasses and wildflowers. They peeked up around the rotting remains of the old workshop, ridges of blackened wood sticking up among the rainbow of petals.
 
-Linsan stopped and looked at the valley her family called their own. Six years had erased the memories of what it looked like when she was a little girl and it was burning. She couldn't remember what the workshop looked like anymore, only a few fragments of abstract memories were left behind.
+Linsan stopped and looked at the valley her family called their own. Six years had erased the memories of what the valley looked like when she was a little girl and was helpless as it burned. She couldn't remember what the workshop looked like anymore, only a few fragments of abstract memories were left behind.
 
 It would be decades before the trees were old enough to lumber and see if they had retained the qualities that made her family's instruments special. By then, all the skills that went into crafting violins would also be gone; her father showed no interest in teaching her his craft.
 
@@ -35,11 +35,11 @@ She started walking again, straight for the ruins of the workshop. Her heart beg
 
 Near the opening that once was a door, she set down her violin case and bag. She popped open her case and eased the the violin from the velvet. It wasn't one of her father's but a good-quality one her mother had bought without her father's knowledge.
 
-Stepping away into the knee-high grasses, she tuned it carefully and began to play. It had been a year since the fateful day in the attic. Her mother had given her a new violin as a present and she had played it every day since. Now, she was comfortable with the instrument and could play simpler songs fluidly.
+Stepping away into the knee-high grasses, she tuned it carefully and began to play. It had been a year since the fateful day in the attic. Her mother had given her a new violin as a present and she had played it every day since. Now, she was comfortable with the instrument and could play simple songs fluidly.
 
-Her mother was also happy Linsan finally taught herself songs that didn't center on butts.
+Her mother was also happy Linsan finally taught herself songs that didn't center on butts, though the childish part of her loved _My Ass for a Glass of Milk_ for an entirely inappropriate song.
 
-Linsan stood up and started to play. Her first song came out strong, it was a ballad about a girl and a boy. She didn't really know the words, but the melody always drew her. It was sad and sweet at the same, an appropriate song for the ruins.
+Linsan stood up and started to play. Her first song came out strong, it was a ballad about a girl and a boy. She didn't really know the words, but the melody always drew her. It was sad and sweet at the same time, an appropriate song for the ruins.
 
 Closing her eyes, she just let the music flow around her. She imagined her father playing, the way he swayed back and forth with the movement of the bow. She followed suit, letting the song and the wind move her body as she ran through the notes.
 
@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ Linsan glanced at the other two. They were still wearing their school dresses, r
 
 Brook made a show of looking around. Her face was twisted into disgust. "Why do you bother with this old place? There is nothing left here. Just some old walls and scorched rocks." Her tone was sharp and cruel, just like whenever she spoke to Linsan at school.
 
-Linsan struggled to not raise her voice. "This is still my family's land. Just because it's hurt doesn't mean I'm going to abandon it."
+Linsan struggled to not raise her voice. "This is still my family's land. Just because it hurts doesn't mean I'm going to abandon it."
 
 "Hurt? Places don't get hurt. Trees don't hurt. They get ruined and destroyed. Then everyone who counted on those lands fall. They are the ones who suffer, not some grass and rocks." As Brook spoke, her voice grew sharper and more biting. She gestured to the ground around her, her hand almost smacking into one of her friends.
 
@@ -133,7 +133,7 @@ Turning back, Brook took another step toward Linsan. The tall grasses dragged at
 
 As Brook gestured to the ruins around her, Linsan ground her jaw together. Brook didn't know what she was talking about. She had no idea how much the fire took out of her family. She opened her mouth to say something but Brook interrupted her.
 
-"No, you don't get to tell me about losing things. It doesn't matter! You lost nothing but your damnable pride. You even still have one of your father's famous violins in my father's vault. Just a single box as if was the most important thing in the world. It's probably worth more than my father, but your parents don't have," she spat out the world, "to sell that, do you?"
+"No, you don't get to tell me about losing things. It doesn't matter! You lost nothing but your damnable pride. You even still have one of your father's famous violins in our vault. Just a single box as if was the most important thing in the world. It's probably worth more than my father, but your parents don't have," she spat out the world, "to sell that, do you?"
 
 When Brook's father had recovered from the fire, he had bought one of the banks in town. It was where Linsan's father had taken Palisis for safe keeping.
 
@@ -175,7 +175,7 @@ Brook reached the entrance. Before she crossed the threshold, she looked down.
 
 The feeling of something about to turn rose up inside Linsan. She followed Brook's gaze to where her violin case and school bag were propped up against the wall.
 
-Brook lifted her elegate boot.
+Brook lifted her elegant boot.
 
 "No!" cried Linsan as Brook stomped hard on the case. The thin walls cracked loudly.
 
@@ -183,11 +183,11 @@ Brook didn't stop. She smashed the case twice before kicking it hard. The top cr
 
 Linsan's vision blurred for a moment. She fought back the nausea, she couldn't throw up with Brook standing there.
 
-Brook's friends stopped and turned to look back. Neither were smiling.
+Brook's friends stopped and turned to look back. Neither were smiling. One slowly lifted her hand to her mouth.
 
 Brook held up her dress and kicked the case again. It slammed into the stone wall and the lid sheered off, bouncing on the stone before falling to the ground. Papers fluttered everywhere.
 
-With tears in her eyes, Linsan walked toward her. "Stop! Why are you doing that! I bought that with my own money!"
+With tears in her eyes, Linsan walked toward her. "Stop! Why are you doing that!? I bought that with my own money!"
 
 Brook glared at her over her shoulder, her eyes half-hidden by her dark curls. "You don't deserve anything!"
 
@@ -289,11 +289,11 @@ The air rippled around her as something shot out, spearing the rock and knocking
 
 Linsan glared at Brook. "Leave my father alone!"
 
-The notes were burning in her head and she played them without thinking. It wasn't any song she had heard before, but it was violent and angry with sharp distinct notes that burst out of her. Each one manifested into waves of force that shot out to punch Brook. Blows caught the other girl's stomach, chest, and thighs.
+The notes were burning in her head and she played them without thinking. It wasn't any song she had heard before, but it was violent and angry with sharp discordant notes that burst out of her. Each one manifested into waves of force that shot out to punch Brook. Blows caught the other girl's stomach, chest, and thighs.
 
 Brook staggered back. "Bitch!"
 
-Enraged, Linsan continue to play. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with a note. She didn't think she could stop. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.
+Enraged, Linsan continue to play. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with the notes in the back of her head. She didn't think she could stop. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.
 
 Brook fell back in a spray of blood. Her shoulders slammed hard against the ground.
 
@@ -327,7 +327,7 @@ Enraged herself, Linsan's bow tore another sharp sound out of the instrument and
 
 Brook looked up. With a scream, she clapped her hands together with all her might.
 
-A burst of raw noise exploded from Brook in a wave. It slammed into Linsan's blasts and the tones were torn apart. The wave rushed toward Linsan, flattening grasses and shattering the walls of the ruins.
+A burst of raw noise exploded from Brook in a wave. It slammed into Linsan's music and tore the tones apart. The wave rushed toward Linsan, flattening grasses and shattering the walls of the ruins.
 
 The concussion wave slammed into Linsan's chest as if a horse kicked it. She was ripped off the ground and thrown through one of the last remaining walls of the workshop. The impact of cracking stone sent sharp agonies along her hips and thighs as she tumbled into the grasses. Sharp rocks and leaves cut at her face, scraping her skin as she flipped over twice before landing heavily.
 
@@ -343,7 +343,7 @@ Linsan thought about chasing after her but the cuts and ached throbbed in her jo
 
 Her first thought was to run home but there was only one road leading into the valley. She wasn't going to give Brook a chance to ambush her. She had to wait.
 
-With a hiss of pain, she got up and gathered the remains of her violin case and school bag. The case was ruined, shattered by whatever power Brook had summoned. The walls were also completely destroyed. Whatever magic Brook had summoned, it was far more powerful than Linsan's musical blasts.
+With a hiss of pain, she got up and gathered the remains of her violin case and school bag. The case was ruined, shattered by whatever power Brook had summoned. The walls were also completely destroyed and the stones were scattered dozens of feet away in a spray. Brook's magic was far more destructive than Linsan's musical blasts.
 
 Linsan scoffed. Naturally, the gods decided that Brook would have more talent.