fix: editing four through six

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -25,11 +25,11 @@ She took a deep breath and forced herself to take a step forward. And then anoth
 
 With every passing second, the world grew brighter. The canopy ahead of her opened up and the rich smells faded. Even the calls of the early birds broke up and grew silent.
 
-By the time she reached the curve, the world had changed. Gone were the old growth woods and the rich smells of history. They were replaced by the bright colors of the sun-drenched valley with few plants taller than herself. Where there used to be spruce and maple, there was nothing more than grasses and wildflowers. They peeked up around the rotting remains of the old workshop, ridges of blacked wood sticking up among the rainbow of petals.
+By the time she reached the curve, the world had changed. Gone were the old growth woods and the rich smells of history. They were replaced by the bright colors of the sun-drenched valley with few plants taller than herself. Where there used to be spruce and maple, there was nothing more than grasses and wildflowers. They peeked up around the rotting remains of the old workshop, ridges of blackened wood sticking up among the rainbow of petals.
 
 Linsan stopped and looked at the valley her family called their own. Six years had erased the memories of what it looked like when she was a little girl and it was burning. She couldn't remember what the workshop looked like anymore, only a few fragments of abstract memories were left behind.
 
-It would be forty years before the trees were old enough to lumber and see if they had retained the qualities that made her family's instruments special. By then, all the skills that went into crafting violins would also be gone; her father showed no interest in teaching her his craft.
+It would be decades before the trees were old enough to lumber and see if they had retained the qualities that made her family's instruments special. By then, all the skills that went into crafting violins would also be gone; her father showed no interest in teaching her his craft.
 
 She started walking again, straight for the ruins of the workshop. Her heart began to beat faster with anticipation. This was her private place, the quiet valley with painful memories.
 
@@ -55,7 +55,7 @@ As soon as she started the third attempt, she knew it would end up wrong and she
 
 "Damn it," she snapped. She paced around in a circle to calm herself. Her boots crunched on rotted wood and rocks. She hopped up on one edge of the foundation walls and off again.
 
-After a few minutes of moving around, she was calm again. Steeling herself, she brought her violin up and started the same song. The anxiety and frustration grew despite the first notes coming out loud and clear. To fight it, she kept moving. First it was swaying but that wasn't enough. She stepped to the side, almost dancing as she swept through the songs.
+After a few minutes of moving around, she was serene again. Steeling herself, she brought her violin up and started the same song. The anxiety and frustration grew despite the first notes coming out loud and clear. To fight it, she kept moving. First it was swaying but that wasn't enough. She stepped to the side, almost dancing as she swept through the songs.
 
 Music rose from the bow. She felt it as much as she heard it. With a smile, she kept dancing, spinning and  sliding with every moment as the song kept going.
 
@@ -63,69 +63,139 @@ When she finished without a single mistake, she couldn't help but smile. Her ent
 
 She did it again.
 
-With every iteration, she grew more comfortable with the song. Soon she was hopping up the sides of the ruins and twirling around on the narrow bricks. Her entire body joined in with the song and it felt like magic.
+With every iteration, she grew more comfortable with the song. Soon she was hopping up the sides of the ruins and twirling around on the narrow bricks. Her music flowed around her in perfect harmony with her movements.
 
-"You look like a drunken squirrel."
+"Oh look, it looks like the squirrels got drunk again," said a familiar voice behind her.
 
-Ripped out of her song and dance, Linsan almost lost her balance. She tightened her grip on her violin as she teetered to one side and then used her other arm to regain balance.
+Ripped from her song and dance, Linsan almost lost her balance. She tightened her grip on her violin as she teetered to one side and then used her other arm to regain balance.
 
-Laughter followed.
+A wave of laughter followed, all girls. They were mocking and cruel. Unfortunately, she also recognized all of them.
 
-Heart pounding in her chest, she looked around until she saw Brook standing near the gaping entrance of the workshop. A year younger than Linsan, Brook was Dukan's eldest daughter. She had her father's dark hair but the curly hair tumbled over her shoulders and down almost to the small of her back. Even from the opposite side of the ruins, Linsan could tell she still had her makeup on from school but had switched to a more elegant dress fitting for a show. Both seemed out of place next to the building's ruins.
+Heart pounding in her chest, she looked around until she saw Brook standing near the former entrance of the workshop. Behind her were two other girls from school, all in the same class as Brook. They were leaning against the ruined walls.
 
-The muscles in Linsan's neck and chest tightened. She let the violin drop but kept it away from the bricks. "What do you want?"
+A year younger than Linsan, Brook was Dukan's eldest daughter. She had her father's dark hair but the curls tumbled over her shoulders and down almost to the small of her back. Even from the opposite side of the ruins, Linsan could tell that Brook had changed her outfit since school; her fancy dress and makeup would never be allowed in the halls. Nor would the wide-brimmed hat she wore.
 
-"You skipped out of class."
+Her outfit wasn't appropriate for standing in knee-high grass either.
 
-Linsan shrugged. "So? You do that all the time."
+Brook held the bottom of her sea-green dress away from the ground but the lace clung to the leaves that surrounded her boots. Some of the lace had caught broken leaves and there were obvious stains of wildflowers she had to wade through.
 
-"Yes, but I already been accepted to the University of Sager. I don't have to be in school, I just happen to enjoy it." Brook rested her hands on her hips. In the light, her pale skin almost glowed. If it wasn't for a narrow-brimmed hat with lace trim, her face would burn within an hour. In that regard, she was a lot like Linsan's mother.
+Linsan glanced at the other two. They were still wearing their school dresses, relatively plain outfits of dark colors and somber patterns. They gave Brook the appearance of stepping off a stage or coming out of a portrait.
 
-Linsan's lips tightened. Her mother was on tour again. She was famed for her skill, but the public was always looking for younger dancers and singers, the next act instead of the classics. The jobs were slowly ebbing away, something that she heard her parents arguing about more often lately.
+Brook made a show of looking around. Her face was twisted into disgust. "Why do you bother with this old place? There is nothing left here. Just some old walls and scorched rocks." Her tone was sharp and cruel, just like whenever she spoke to Linsan at school.
 
-"Did you finally get a letter yourself? What college? Bursam? Panzir? Oh, did that little musical number of yours get you a scholarship at Stone Over Moon Waters?"
+Linsan struggled to not raise her voice. "This is still my family's land. Just because it's hurt doesn't mean I'm going to abandon it."
 
-Linsan glared at her. She twisted slightly to keep her balance on the ruined wall, but she wasn't interested in getting into a brawl. If it went bad, they were at least a half hour away from town.
+"Hurt? Places don't get hurt. Trees don't hurt. They get ruined and destroyed. Then everyone who counted on those lands fall. They are the ones who suffer, not some grass and rocks." As Brook spoke, her voice grew sharper and more biting. She gestured to the ground around her, her hand almost smacking into one of her friends.
 
-Brook sighed and made a show of looking around. Her pale blue dress twirled as she turned. "No, you're going to be stuck flailing around this dead valley until the day you die. You and your father just rotting---"
+The muscles in Linsan's neck and chest tightened. She let the violin drop but kept it away from the bricks. "What are you doing here, Brook?" What she didn't say was that she would give almost anything to have Brook and her friends just go away.
 
-"Shut it," snapped Linsan. The grip on her violin tightened and she could feel the strings straining against her fingertips. She felt flushed, no doubt from the growing anger.
+"Just going for an evening stroll. Like proper ladies do." Brook smiled sweetly but the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Not that your mother had ever taught you how to be anything proper."
 
-Brook smirked at her. "Why? You're going nowhere and you know it."
+"You are an hour out of town unless you have some wagon nearby," snapped Linsan. "In that outfit, the dirt road had to be hell on your ankles and worse on that pretty dress of yours."
 
-Linsan couldn't help but think about how her father bent over his typewriter, writing out essays about the past. A wave of nausea hit Linsan. She shook her head and crouched down to avoid losing her balance. With one arm clutching her stomach and the other holding her violin, she glared at Brook.
+Brook's painted lips tightened into a thin line for a moment. "Maybe I just wanted to see you jumping around like a drunken squirrel? Or screeching like some sort of beast with that bit of wood? Everyone needs some entertainment, even refined ladies."
 
-"Don't forget, I've seen your family's legacy in the vaults. Just a single pathetic violin no one has played and a few scorched boxes of paperwork." Brook's father, Dukan, ran the bank where most of the town stored their precious belongings.
+Linsan started to snap back but Brook interrupted her. "Before you ask, we are all going Koson's for dinner. A very exclusive dinner for people who are going up in the world, not backwaters squirrels scampering on branches. Daddy is going to meet us there with a wagon."
 
-Brook smirked and gestured to the workshop. "That thing wasn't much different than this place, a ruin of someone's life."
+Koson was an expensive distillery a few miles past the valley. Even so, Brook had to come out of her way to make her way to the Sterlig's valley. It wasn't not an easy place to find.
 
-Linsan gulped at her tight throat. Her dizziness wasn't relenting. "Why are you doing this?"
+Linsan flushed. Her stomach twisted as she glared at Brook. "I come here to get away from people like you."
 
-Brook glanced down and kicked the violin case. "Your father is a joke and a disgrace. When this entire place burned to the ground, we almost lost everything too." She kicked the case harder, flipping it over and spilling its contents across the ground.
+"Yes, you should do that." Brook stepped forward. "If fact, you and the rest of your rotten family should move here where we never have to see you again." Her dark brown eyes flashed underneath the wide brim of her hat. "You are a stain on Penesol, a reminder that even the fame of the Sterlig's would crumble."
 
-Linsan tensed.
+With a flinch, Linsan had to force herself to relax her grip in fears of breaking her bow. She trembled as the tears rose in her eyes. "My family was ruined in that fire. We lost---"
 
-"We didn't have someone like your mother to pay the bills," she continued with a glare. "There weren't plays and tours bringing in crowns. My dad had to work every day and night with three jobs to make ends meet. I barely saw him for weeks as he scraped the bottom of barrels and raked horse shit."
+"So was mine! But we didn't have your mother's fame to keep us floating in the muck. We fell in and drowned. We lost everything, I lost everything." Brook's voice grew sharper. "We had to move. I lost my room and everything in it. We had to sell the pictures, my dolls, and even my paintings. We lived in a tent for a year because of you!" Her screams bounced off the rocks before fading.
+
+Linsan shook her head. "But you're fine now. Your father is one of the richest people---"
+
+Brook stomped hard on the ground. She screamed, "No thanks to you and your damn family!"
+
+A flush of heat and discomfort rolled through Linsan's body. It was shocking how she could almost trace the wave as it radiating from her chest and flowed down into her hands and feet. Her violin trembled, the vibrations humming along the strings.
+
+Brook stepped over Linsan's case and into the empty space between the walls. "Your father didn't help us! Your mother didn't either! Your damn parents walked away when we needed you the most!" Her face grew redder with every word.
+
+"I-I can't tell you why that happened. I was only nine."
+
+"And I was eight and I lost everything!"
+
+"That was six years ago! We were both little girls!" Linsan desperately wanted to get away. It was turning into a fight but there were no teachers to break it up and they were at least a half an hour away from anyone could help. She glanced past Brook to her cases. They were now trapped between the three girls.
+
+Brook's face twisted into a deep scowl. "We lived in hell for most of those years! Tents, that horrible cabin, even the Couple-damned apartment filled with bugs! That is our hell and you had to go through none of it!"
+
+One of Brook's friends reached out. "Brook? I think---"
+
+Brook turned on her and snapped. "Quiet!"
+
+Her friend flinched.
+
+Turning back, Brook took another step toward Linsan. The tall grasses dragged at her dress. "You didn't lose anything important. Just this place---"
+
+As Brook gestured to the ruins around her, Linsan ground her jaw together. Brook didn't know what she was talking about. She had no idea how much the fire took out of her family. She opened her mouth to say something but Brook interrupted her.
+
+"No, you don't get to tell me about losing things. It doesn't matter! You lost nothing but your damnable pride. You even still have one of your father's famous violins in my father's vault. Just a single box as if was the most important thing in the world. It's probably worth more than my father, but your parents don't have," she spat out the world, "to sell that, do you?"
+
+When Brook's father had recovered from the fire, he had bought one of the banks in town. It was where Linsan's father had taken Palisis for safe keeping.
+
+Linsan jumped off the wall toward Brook. "I lost more than that, cow!"
+
+From behind Brook, her other friend spoke up. "Brook? I thought we were just going to tease her? This is going too far." She was obviously uncomfortable. Both of them had stepped back away from the wall.
+
+Brook appeared to ignore her as she stomped toward Linsan. She released her dress which dragged along the wildflowers that Linsan hadn't crushed with her dancing. She was sweating as she did, droplets running down her face and marring her makeup.
+
+Linsan hesitated at the sight of Brook balling up her hands into fists. Their encounter was rapidly sliding into a fight and she still had her violin her hand. She glanced to the side, looking for some place to toss it safely if she had to defend herself.
+
+Brook stopped in front of her. Her face was red with dark streaks from her ruined makeup.
+
+Linsan backed up. Her mind plotted her next action: duck to the right and throw her violin onto a bed of violets. That looked like the safest place. She could then come back with a punch if she had to.
+
+Brook leaned toward her. "I never want to see you again," she hissed. "Not in school, not in the street. There is nothing good about you or your family and I want the rest of the world to know it." Her breath was hot against Linsan's face.
+
+Linsan felt sick to her stomach. The discomfort had grown rapidly and she was on the edge of throwing up herself. The world spun around her as she stared into Brook's angry brown eyes.
+
+"You and the rest of your drunken squirrels need to go away and never be seen again."
+
+Trembling, Linsan fought the urge to lash out. She tried to convince herself if she just let Brook threaten her, it would be over. Just a few minutes, she hoped.
+
+Brook seemed to have the same hesitation. She trembled as she kept her face shoved toward Linsan's. They were only inches away and it felt like the air between them was growing more heated with every passing second.
+
+"B-Brook?" called out the second girl. "We should probably be going."
+
+Brook's lips pressed into a thin line.
+
+Linsan wanted to look away, to avoid the conflict, but couldn't. She stared back and waited for what would happen next. Her lungs hurt and she realized she was holding her breath, but she didn't dare let it go.
+
+Brook yanked back. "Rot in a pile of rancid crap," she muttered and spun around. Her dress tugged on the grasses around them as she stormed forward.
+
+Letting out her breath, Linsan almost slumped forward. She got a better grip on her bow and instrument; both of her palms were slick with sweat. The rest of her body still felt uncomfortable, as if her skin wasn't fitting quite right anymore.
+
+She panted as she watched Brook walk toward the entrance. Beyond Brook, her two friends were already walking back. Linsan just had to hold on a little longer, then she and her friends would be gone and she could let herself go, no doubt to cry.
+
+Brook reached the entrance. Before she crossed the threshold, she looked down.
+
+The feeling of something about to turn rose up inside Linsan. She followed Brook's gaze to where her violin case and school bag were propped up against the wall.
+
+Brook lifted her elegate boot.
+
+"No!" cried Linsan as Brook stomped hard on the case. The thin walls cracked loudly.
+
+Brook didn't stop. She smashed the case twice before kicking it hard. The top cracked loudly as one hinge burst.
 
 Linsan's vision blurred for a moment. She fought back the nausea, she couldn't throw up with Brook standing there.
 
-"Then you know what happened? After all the crap we had to go through, things finally got better. No thanks to you and your whole cursed family!" Brook kicked the case harder.
+Brook's friends stopped and turned to look back. Neither were smiling.
 
-It smashed against the charred wall. Wood splintered as the lid sheared off.
+Brook held up her dress and kicked the case again. It slammed into the stone wall and the lid sheered off, bouncing on the stone before falling to the ground. Papers fluttered everywhere.
 
-Linsan looked around and saw a spot to hop down. She did, landing on the ground heavily. A few steps took her near her ruined case. The hinge was twisted and snapped and the lid sat at an unnatural angle. There felt tears burning her eyes. "Why did you do that? I bought that with my own money!"
+With tears in her eyes, Linsan walked toward her. "Stop! Why are you doing that! I bought that with my own money!"
 
-Brook smirked. "You don't deserve anything after the crap your family did."
+Brook glared at her over her shoulder, her eyes half-hidden by her dark curls. "You don't deserve anything!"
 
 She turned and kicked Linsan's schoolbags. Papers flew everywhere.
 
-Linsan dropped her violin into her case. It bounced once but stayed within the padded interior with a discordant twang. She glared at Brook. "Stop doing that."
+Linsan tossed her violin and bow onto the patch of violets. The instrument bounced once with a discordant twang. "Stop that!"
 
-"Why should I? You and your family are nothing but trash. She gave the bag another kick.
-
-"Stop it!"
-
-Brook turned and started to walk away. "Fine, I'll stop. I have a better idea anyways."
+Brook started to walk away. "Fine, I'll stop. I have a better idea anyways."
 
 The tone of Brook's voice sent a pang of fear coursing through Linsan.
 
@@ -133,7 +203,7 @@ The tone of Brook's voice sent a pang of fear coursing through Linsan.
 
 The world blurred for a moment. A sick feeling twisted in Linsan's stomach, almost doubling her over in agony. She fought it, trying to keep her gaze focused on Brook's back.
 
-Brook went a few yards before she stopped and looked over her shoulder, her visible eye half hidden by her dark curly hair. "The nice thing about wooden instruments is that they burn so easily. Only one left---"
+Brook went a few yards before she stopped and looked over her shoulder again. "The nice thing about wooden instruments is that they burn so easily. Only one left---"
 
 Linsan charged forward with a scream, "You leave Palisis alone!"
 
@@ -141,33 +211,35 @@ Brook's smile froze. She turned and raised her arm.
 
 Linsan swung wildly but missed.
 
-"You cow!" snapped Brook. Her fingers raked across Linsan's face, leaving four burning lines. She followed up with a kick that caught the back of Linsan's knee.
+"You cow!" snapped Brook. Her fingers raked across Linsan's face, leaving four burning lines. She followed up with a kick that caught Linsan's knee.
 
 Linsan dropped to the ground.
 
-Brook rolled her eyes and then brought her knee up. The soft padding of her dress did little to cushion the impact as it connected with Linsan's face with a sickening crunch.
+Brook rolled her eyes and then brought her knee up. The soft padding of her dress did little to cushion the impact as it connected with Linsan's chin with a sickening crunch.
 
 With a groan, Linsan fell back. She clutched her nose with one hand and felt hot blood pouring down between her fingers.
 
-Brook leaned toward her. "Do you really think a dress is going to stop me?"
+Brook leaned toward her. "Do you really think a dress is going to stop me? I have two sisters, I know how to fight!"
 
 Sick and dizzy and enraged, Linsan staggered to her feet. "Don't you dare burn Palisis!"
 
-"Pal... the violin? You named a stupid instrument?"
+"Pal... the violin? You named that stupid instrument?"
 
 "It isn't stupid! That's my father's! That's all we have left!"
 
-Brook clicked her tongue and shook her head. "That's what wrong with all of you. You cling to those stupid instruments like they are somehow going to save you. It's just a rotted thing and you don't deserve any of them."
+Brook clicked her tongue and shook her head. "That's what wrong with all of you. You cling to those stupid things like they are somehow going to save you. It's just a rotted thing and you don't deserve any of them. You need to lose everything, just like us."
 
 She turned and stomped back toward the ruins. "In fact, you don't deserve this one---"
 
 Linsan didn't hear the rest. She was charging forward wildly. Her shoulder caught the small of Brook's back as she threw all her weight into tackling her. Her incoherent scream echoed across the valley.
 
-The dress tore loudly, fabric pulling apart.
+The dress tore loudly and the ripping sound filled the air.
+
+"That's it, I'm going to burn both of your violins!"
 
 Linsan kicked and punched as she tried to free herself. Her hands dug into the ground as she crawled to her violin. Her vision blurred but she managed to keep her attention locked on her violin. She had to get it before Brook did.
 
-"You bitch! You ruined my dress!"
+"You ruined my dress!"
 
 Linsan reached her violin. She grabbed it and rolled over, clutching the instrument to her chest as she stared.
 
@@ -201,7 +273,7 @@ Brook held up her hands, ready to parry.
 
 Linsan drew a single note across the tight strings.
 
-Her entire world fragmented as something rushed out of her. It blew away from her in almost invisible wave of force. The tall grasses flattened almost immediately as did one of the standing walls.
+Her entire world fragmented as something rushed out of her. It blew away from her in almost invisible wave of force. The tall grasses and flowers flattened almost immediately. When the wave hit the ruin's walls, one of them tumbled apart.
 
 The force slammed into Brook, throwing her back violently from the ruins. Her body flew over the wall, a sharp edge tearing her dress further apart. She landed with a thud.
 
@@ -217,13 +289,15 @@ The air rippled around her as something shot out, spearing the rock and knocking
 
 Linsan glared at Brook. "Leave my father alone!"
 
-The notes were burning in her head and she played them. Energy burst out from her and her instrument, shooting across the air to punch into Brook. Blows caught the other girl's stomach, chest, and thighs.
+The notes were burning in her head and she played them without thinking. It wasn't any song she had heard before, but it was violent and angry with sharp distinct notes that burst out of her. Each one manifested into waves of force that shot out to punch Brook. Blows caught the other girl's stomach, chest, and thighs.
 
 Brook staggered back. "Bitch!"
 
-Enraged, Linsan continue to play. The sharp tones of the song were far more violent than anything her father had taught her to play but they invoked the shimmering energy to shoot across the distance. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with a note.
+Enraged, Linsan continue to play. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with a note. She didn't think she could stop. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.
 
-She only stopped when Brook fell back in a spray of blood. She stopped, bow ready as she panted. The sick feeling was gone, leaving behind a rush of something far more intense.
+Brook fell back in a spray of blood. Her shoulders slammed hard against the ground.
+
+Shocked, Linsan froze. Her bow hovered inches above the strings, waiting to strike again. To her surprise, the sick feeling was gone, leaving behind a rush of something far more intense. It felt like she had just finished a dance or dove into water.
 
 A few birds called out.
 
@@ -231,13 +305,17 @@ Linsan's arm began to tremble. The anger ebbed away, leaving behind an exhaustio
 
 She glanced at her bow and gave a little hesitant pull. The note rang out and the energy hummed around her. It fluttered against her skin, a little caress of power that was almost invisible in the air.
 
-Brook groaned as she stood up. She was covered in dirt and grime. Blood soaked the side of her face.
+Brook groaned as she stood up. Her dress was ruined and blood soaked the side of her face.
 
 Linsan focused on her, holding up the bow to strike again.
 
-"This isn't over, cow," gasped Brook. "We aren't done until I say we're done."
+"This isn't over," gasped Brook. "We aren't done until I say we're done."
 
-"Leave my family alone."
+One of her friends held out a hand. "We should go," she said.
+
+"Please?" asked the other.
+
+Linsan ignored them. "Leave my family alone."
 
 Brook stepped back, moving toward the trail leaving out of the valley. She was limping. "Like hell I will."
 
@@ -247,9 +325,9 @@ Brook turned. Her face twisted in rage for a moment, then it turned into a stran
 
 Enraged herself, Linsan's bow tore another sharp sound out of the instrument and the translucent energy exploded from the violin and shot toward Brook.
 
-The other girl looked up. With a scream, she held her hand far apart and then slapped them together with all her might.
+Brook looked up. With a scream, she clapped her hands together with all her might.
 
-A burst of raw noise exploded from Brook in a wave. It slammed into Linsan's blasts and the tones were blasted away. The wave rushed toward Linsan, flattening grasses and shattering the walls of the ruins.
+A burst of raw noise exploded from Brook in a wave. It slammed into Linsan's blasts and the tones were torn apart. The wave rushed toward Linsan, flattening grasses and shattering the walls of the ruins.
 
 The concussion wave slammed into Linsan's chest as if a horse kicked it. She was ripped off the ground and thrown through one of the last remaining walls of the workshop. The impact of cracking stone sent sharp agonies along her hips and thighs as she tumbled into the grasses. Sharp rocks and leaves cut at her face, scraping her skin as she flipped over twice before landing heavily.
 
@@ -259,14 +337,14 @@ Gasping, she managed to push herself up into a kneeling position. Looking round,
 
 Brook wasn't nearby.
 
-Startled, she looked around and realized she was facing the valley. With a sob of pain, she turned to see Brook limping around the corner. There was a flutter of the ruined blue dress and then she was out of sight.
+Startled, she looked around and realized she was facing the valley. With a sob of pain, she turned to see Brook hurriedly limping toward the road leading out of the valley. Her friends were hovering next to her, trying to help but Brook kept waving them off.
 
 Linsan thought about chasing after her but the cuts and ached throbbed in her joints. Whatever rush came from fight was fading away, reminding her that she had almost as many injuries as Brook.
 
 Her first thought was to run home but there was only one road leading into the valley. She wasn't going to give Brook a chance to ambush her. She had to wait.
 
-With a hiss of pain, she got up and gathered the remains of her violin case and school bag. The case was ruined, shattered by whatever power Brook had summoned. It was far more powerful than Linsan's.
+With a hiss of pain, she got up and gathered the remains of her violin case and school bag. The case was ruined, shattered by whatever power Brook had summoned. The walls were also completely destroyed. Whatever magic Brook had summoned, it was far more powerful than Linsan's musical blasts.
 
-Linsan scoffed. Naturally, the gods decided that Brook would have more power.
+Linsan scoffed. Naturally, the gods decided that Brook would have more talent.
 
 She sat down heavily and stared at the case. There wasn't much she could do to salvage it, but her violin was more important than paperwork. She emptied out the bag and started to make something to protect her instrument.

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ Brook slipped off her side of the car. Her shoulders were slumped and her new dr
 
 Dukan strode up the walk. "Lin! You look beaut...." His voice trailed off as he got closer. "Actually, you look like you've been in a pretty nasty fight. Brook did a number on you, didn't she?"
 
-Behind him, his daughter glared at his back. She had a black eye and bandages along her hands and shoulder. Her leather boots scuffed against the flagstone path. She held her dress away from the ground.
+Behind him, his daughter glared at his back. She had a black eye and bandages along her hands and shoulder. Her leather boots scuffed against the flagstone path. She held her dress away from the ground in semblance of before but it obvious she was hurting.
 
 Linsan regarded Dukan. At first, she considered blaming Brook for the fight and the resulting damage. After all, she had ruined Linsan's violin case and started the argument. She deserved all the punishment she would get.
 
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@ Brook glared at him but said nothing.
 
 Linsan shook her head. "No, she's just left for another tour of *My Fairest Rose* along the southern regions. She's coming into her second stop tonight. She'll be there for three days before moving on."
 
-Dukan ran his hand along his short, dark hair. He smiled and shrugged. "Pity. I haven't had a chance to hear that play. I've always loved watching her dance."
+Dukan ran his hand along his short, dark hair. He smiled and shrugged. "Pity. I haven't had a chance to see that play. I've always loved watching your mother dance."
 
 "This is the third season," Broke muttered.
 
@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@ He seemed lost for a moment. Then he smiled brightly. "Your dad in?"
 
 Dukan turned to his daughter. "Stay out here and try not to ruin your dress. I'm going to talk to Sian and see if we can smooth this over." He pointed at her. "No fighting."
 
-"Yes, Daddy," came the sullen response.
+"Yes, Daddy," came the sullen response. She glanced at Linsan and then pointedly looked away with a lift of her chin and a scowl.
 
 Dukan patted Linsan on the shoulder as he passed her. His polished shoes thudded against the wooden steps. He knocked before letting himself in. "Hey, Sian, got a minute?"
 
@@ -89,7 +89,7 @@ Linsan gasped and stumbled back until she hit the step with her foot. "W-What?"
 
 "It's a stupid case, who cares?"
 
-"I care!" Linsan managed to regain some of her balance and straightened up. She stepped forward, but Brook didn't move back so they were pressed chest-to-chest as the two teenagers hissed at each other. "That was my case and you broke it. This was your fault, not mine!"
+"I care!" Linsan managed to regain some of her balance and straightened up. She stepped forward, but Brook didn't move back so they were pressed chest-to-chest as the two teenagers hissed at each other. "I paid for it with my own money and you smashed it on purpose. This was your fault, not mine!"
 
 Muscles along Brook's jaw tightened.
 
@@ -97,15 +97,15 @@ Linsan rushed forward with her anger, shoving forward with her body.. "You're th
 
 "Your family is trash, you stupid bitch!" Brook shoved back with her bandaged hands.
 
-Ready this time, Linsan shoved back with her foot to catch herself before she hit the step. She hiked herself up and shifted to the side so she wouldn't fall. When she came down, she used the momentum to plant her hands on Brook's shoulders and shove with all her might. "We lost everything!"
+Ready this time, Linsan shoved back with her foot to catch herself before she hit the step. She hiked herself up and shifted to the side so she wouldn't fall. When she came down, she used the momentum to plant her hands on Brook's shoulders and shove with all her might. "Our lives got ruined too!"
 
 Brook stumbled back into the grass. Her ankle turned and she let out a hiss before hopping further away. "That was just a burnt out forest, I'm talking about my future!"
 
-She started forward but then cringed when her foot struck the ground. "I was supposed to have a pretty power, a silk! Now, every time I clap my hands, every Couple-damned window cracks!" She was no longer hissing, but screaming at the top of her lungs. "What kind of man is going to want a wife who can break walls!"
+She started forward but when her ankle too her weight, a sharp pain ripped up her leg. She cringed. Flushed, she forced out the words. "I was supposed to have a pretty power, a silk! Now, every time I clap my hands, every Couple-damned window cracks!" She was no longer hissing, but screaming at the top of her lungs. "What kind of man is going to want a wife who can break walls!"
 
-Tears sparkled in Brook's eyes. She yanked her dress up and tried to lunge forward again. She tripped and twisted back to avoid falling. When she looked up, the tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I'm ruined because of that stupid fight! All because you attacked me!"
+Tears sparkled in Brook's eyes. She yanked her dress from the ground with one hand and tried to lunge forward again. She tripped and twisted back to avoid falling. When she looked up, the tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I'm ruined because of that stupid fight! All because you attacked me!"
 
-Linsan fought the urge to rush forward and slap her. "You threatened to burn Palisis!" she screamed as loudly as she could. "That's our family's treasure and you were going to just burn it!"
+Linsan fought the urge to rush forward and slap her. "You threatened to burn Palisis!" she screamed back. "That's all that's left of our family's heritage and you were going to just burn it!"
 
 "It's just a stupid violin!"
 
@@ -115,9 +115,9 @@ Something snapped inside Linsan. She rushed forward.
 
 Linsan tripped on the edge of the wall and came down hard on her knees. Pain shot through her limbs as she bent forward in pain. When she looked up through the waterfall of her brunette hair, she saw that Brook had also fallen back into the dirt.
 
-"What in the Couple-damned hell is going on?" yelled Dukan. "Is this not starting a fight?"
+"What in the Couple-damned hell is going on?" yelled Dukan. "How is this not starting a fight?"
 
-"Sorry, Daddy."
+Brook looked away. "Sorry, Daddy," she said in a girlish voice.
 
 "Quiet, Girl! You obviously can't listen to a simple rule." Dukan's shoes thudded down the stairs. "Get off the ground."
 
@@ -127,7 +127,7 @@ Crying from the pain, Linsan took it and pulled herself up to her feet. She glan
 
 Sian looked old at the top of the stairs. His skin was pale and wrinkled and there was no joy left in his eyes. He sighed and shook his head.
 
-She cringed. "Sorry, Daddy."
+She cringed. "Sorry."
 
 "No," Dukan said, "I should apologize for my daughter. She obviously can't be trusted to exercise restraint."
 
@@ -147,11 +147,11 @@ Linsan tensed. She still remembered the first and only time she played the instr
 
 Sian nodded. "Yeah, never been played."
 
-Even though he didn't say it, Linsan could see her father die a little when he spoke. His eyes shimmered with tears for a moment before he wiped them with the back of his hand.
+Even though he didn't say it, Linsan could see her father die a little by lying to his best and oldest friend. His eyes shimmered with tears for a moment before he wiped them with the back of his hand.
 
 Dukan looked confused. "It's a virgin Sterlig, Sian. Selling that would get you millions of crowns. Why are you working when that thing could set you for life?"
 
-Sian shook his head. "It's Marin, Dukan. You know that. She was Tis's first wife and she married my second. There isn't another person closer to both of us than her. How could I just... throw that away for some money?"
+Sian shook his head. "It's Marin, Dukan. You know that. She was Tis's first wife and she married mine. There isn't another person closer to both of us than her. How could I just... throw that away for some money?"
 
 With a sigh, Dukan returned to Sian. He took the first step up to grab Linsan's father's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Forgive me. Marin was my friend too. I should have never asked."
 
@@ -169,7 +169,7 @@ Her father nodded. "Thank you, Dukan. I'm sorry for everything."
 
 Sian pulled a face. "Dukan, I'm honored but---"
 
-Dukan held up his hand. "No, I worked for both you and your father for my entire life until that point. You were always good men and a good family. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if to give your daughter something."
+Dukan held up his hand. "No, I worked for both you and your father for my entire life until that year. You were always good men and as close to family as you can get. This is the least I can do. Let me help, even if to give your daughter something."
 
 Linsan inhaled with surprise. She glanced at Brook who looked hurt and just as surprise as herself.
 
@@ -211,7 +211,7 @@ Her father stopped moving for a moment, then he turned and opened the door. "Com
 
 "You manifested powers, right?"
 
-"Yes."
+"Yes." The memory of the rush after she had used her powers came back. She smiled to herself. "It was amazing."
 
 "The violin?" He wasn't looking at her.
 
@@ -219,8 +219,10 @@ She cringed. "Yes."
 
 "Then it would take the Couple walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing that instrument. After all, you've been teaching yourself on the sly for months. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you properly."
 
-She gaped in surprise.
+She gasped in surprise.
 
-He raised an eyebrow and he smirked. "Your mother is a magnificent creature on the stage but she needs a script to keep her lies together. Her improvisation has always been weak. Come on. I also have to write a letter to your mother."
+He raised an eyebrow and he smirked. "Your mother is a magnificent creature on the stage but she needs a script to keep her lies together. Her improvisation has always been weak."
+
+Leaning over, he kissed the top of her head. "Come on. I also have to write a letter to your mother to let her know what is happening so she can stop lying herself."
 
 Surprised and delighted, Linsan gathered her ruined case and headed up the stairs.

chapters/chapter-06.md

@@ -39,6 +39,10 @@ She sat down and picked up a lace, wide-brimmed hat. Setting it on her piled-hig
 
 Still panting, Linsan sat down heavily next to her. She carefully set the violin back into its case. "Daddy's lessons have helped a lot."
 
+"You were already good before he started teaching you."
+
+Linsan shook her head. "No, these last two years of lessons have done more than I could ever hope to do by myself."
+
 Tisin smiled and patted the back of Linsan's hand. Unlike her daughter, she didn't seem fazed by the dancing in the sunlight. With her pale skin, she looked almost ghost-like compared to Linsan's deep tan from visiting the valley every day. She would burn quickly though, which is why she always wore a hat outside even on cloudy days.
 
 "Thanks for coming with me."
@@ -71,17 +75,17 @@ Tisin shrugged. "Does it matter?"
 
 "That is our tradition. Seven generations."
 
-"Maybe and maybe not," Tisin said. "We never know how the future is going to play. Two years ago, I was convinced that Sian would never play a violin again. But ever since you gained your talent, he's been playing again. At first, it was to teach you but now, he just does it because it makes him feel good."
+"Maybe and maybe not," Tisin said. "We never know how the future is going to play. Two years ago, I was convinced that Sian would never play a violin again. But ever since you gained your talent, he's been playing. At first, it was to teach you but now, he just does it because it makes him feel good."
 
-She smiled broadly and licked a bit of butter from the box that held the sandwiches. "I love hearing the sounds of you two playing when I come home."
+She smiled broadly and licked a bit of butter from the box that held the sandwiches. "I love hearing the sounds of you two when I come in the front door."
 
 Linsan blushed.
 
-"I also love dancing with you. You were always an active child and I was glad that you managed to acquire both your father's and my skills. Though, your father would rather you stop balancing on the couch while practicing."
+"I also love dancing with you. You were always an active child and I was glad that you managed to acquire both your father's and my skills. Though, your father would rather you stop balancing on the good chairs while practicing."
 
 Linsan's blush grew hotter. She hated standing still when she played. Her father could do it, but as soon as she started getting into the cheerful melodies, her feet started tapping.
 
-Her mother chuckled. "You've destroyed many chairs over the years. And your bed. Two of them." She was smiling as she spoke.
+Her mother chuckled. "You've destroyed a lot of furniture over the years. And your bed. Two of them if I recall." She was smiling as she spoke.
 
 "Sorry."
 
@@ -101,7 +105,7 @@ Linsan glanced at her. There was something not being said. Her mother had been h
 
 Tisin smile broadly and she shrugged. "No shows right now."
 
-"What about *The Mayor's Mistress*?" It was one of the more recent plays that had started in town.
+"What about *The Mayor's Mistress*?" It was one of the more recent plays that had started in town. "I saw the bills when we were grocery shopping."
 
 Her mother didn't answer for a moment. Then she sighed. "You know that girl, Valian?"
 
@@ -119,21 +123,19 @@ Tisin grinned. "You would think so, but no."
 
 With a frown, Linsan said, "Why not?"
 
-Another shrug. "For most women, there are only four roles in a lifetime: the innocent child, the petulant teenager, the mother, and the grandmother. I'm just not old enough to be a grandmother and directors like Kavinar prefer younger-looking women."
+Another shrug. "For most women, there are only four big roles in a lifetime: the innocent child, the petulant teenager, the hopeful mother, and the weary grandmother. I'm just not old enough to be a grandmother and directors like Kavinar prefer younger-looking women with silver hair than actual mothers."
 
 It didn't seem right. Her mother was a wonderful actress. She had been touring Kormar for over twenty years and there were dozens of awards to her name. Linsan had stacks of posters and notices with her face on it as the leading role.
 
 "What about *Gone Without Water*?"
 
-"It's a gay piece, no women."
+"It's a gay piece, no women. Even the women aren't played by women."
 
 "And that monster one? Um...." Linsan's voice trailed off as she tried to remember the name.
 
 "*No Soul Left Uneaten.* My tits were never large enough for Tabil and I won't cheat on your father." Tisin did a little shimmy and a grin, but there was a hollowness in her eyes.
 
-**Money?**
-
-Linsan reached down and plucked some flowers. She toyed with the petals, working her thumb along the edge until it crumbled. "Are we going to have trouble with money then?"
+Linsan reached down and plucked some flowers. She toyed with the petals, working her thumb along the edge until it crumbled. She thought about the looks her parents had been giving each other when the topics changing to buying things. She knew how dependent they were on her mother's income. No shows meant nothing coming in. "Are we going to have trouble with money then?"
 
 For the first time in Linsan's memory, Tisin's smile faded.
 
@@ -141,19 +143,19 @@ A cold shiver ran down Linsan's spine.
 
 "We have enough for a while," came the less-than-cheerful response. Tisin shifted slightly, sitting up. She reached for the jar of ice water they had brought with them. "This will only be a couple of months. We've saved up enough that we don't have to worry for... quite a while."
 
-Hating the feeling of dread that draped over her, Linsan thought about their situation. She never had to worry about money, but she knew it was always tight ever since the fire. It had been years since they lost everything, everything but a few boxes and Palisis, her father's last violin.
+Hating the feeling of dread that draped over her, Linsan thought about their situation. She never had to worry about a roof over her head, but she knew it was always tight ever since the fire. It had been years since they lost everything, everything but a few boxes and Palisis, her father's last violin.
 
-**Seems like mind-reading here.**
+A violin that hadn't been played, a virgin as Dukan called it, would be worth millions at least. That would pay any bill that came up.
 
-"No," said Tisin said sharply.
+"You are thinking about selling the stuff in the vault, weren't you?"
 
-Linsan jumped. "What?"
+Linsan jumped. "What? No. I mean, yes. H-How? I didn't say anything."
 
-"We will never sell that." Her mother's eyes were hard.
+Her mother sighed. "Nothing more than a good guess. I figured your thoughts would go there because that was where both your father and I did. But you don't have the history of that violin that we did. You wouldn't understand how important it is to both of us."
 
-The feeling of dread rose up and a sweat prickled Linsan's brow. "But, it would---"
+"More than not having money?" Linsan felt weird asking her parents about such an adult topic.
 
-"No."
+Tisin shook her head, then she reached over to hug Linsan tightly. "Losing you is the only thing worse than losing that violin. If it came down to you and it, we'll sell it. But until that moment, it is important that we never lose that last bit of Marin."
 
 Seeing the tears in her mother's eyes, Linsan nodded. "Sorry."
 

language.json

@@ -10,6 +10,8 @@
 		"Katsaril",
 		"Kavinar",
 		"Kormar",
+		"Koson",
+		"Koson's",
 		"Lankerni",
 		"Linsan",
 		"Linsan's",
@@ -23,6 +25,7 @@
 		"Sian",
 		"Sian's",
 		"Sterlig",
+		"Sterlig's",
 		"Sterligs",
 		"Tabil",
 		"Tirain",