fix(wip): working on four through six

chapters/chapter-04.md

@@ -11,13 +11,13 @@ teaser: >
 
 Linsan always loved the first week of spring. As she walked along the overgrown road, she admired the new buds sprouting on the tree branches and the leaves just pushing up through the thick mat of rotted leaves. The smells of the forest were coming to life, thawed out by the early season.
 
-She paused to shift her new violin case from one shoulder to the other. Her school bag went on the opposite side. The heavy weight of the hard case bore down on her, but it was a comforting company on her long walks through the woods.
+She paused to shift her new violin case from one shoulder to the other. It bumped against her school bag until she managed to shift it to her other side. The heavy weight of the hard case bore down on her, but it was a comforting companion on her long walks through the woods.
 
 When she saw the curve with the three oak trees, some of her good mood faded and her footsteps came to a stop. She looked at the thick forest around her, the way everything was living and bright.
 
 Then she tightened her grip on the strap across her chest. Looking down, she stared at her feet for a moment.
 
-"Come on, Linsan," she said to herself. "You've been doing this for years."
+"Come on, Linsan," she said to herself. "You've been doing this for years. You're fifteen, you aren't a little girl anymore."
 
 That didn't make it any easier.
 
@@ -25,19 +25,19 @@ She took a deep breath and forced herself to take a step forward. And then anoth
 
 With every passing second, the world grew brighter. The canopy ahead of her opened up and the rich smells faded. Even the calls of the early birds broke up and grew silent.
 
-By the time she reached the curve, the world had changed. Gone were the old growth woods and the rich smells of history. They were replaced by the bright colors of the sun-drenched valley with few plants taller than herself. Where there used to be spruce and maple, it was grasses and wild flowers. They peeked up around the rotting remains of the old workshop, ridges of blacked wood sticking up among the rainbow of petals.
+By the time she reached the curve, the world had changed. Gone were the old growth woods and the rich smells of history. They were replaced by the bright colors of the sun-drenched valley with few plants taller than herself. Where there used to be spruce and maple, there was nothing more than grasses and wildflowers. They peeked up around the rotting remains of the old workshop, ridges of blacked wood sticking up among the rainbow of petals.
 
-Linsan stopped and looked at the valley her family called their own. Six years had erased the memories of what it looked like when she was a little girl and it was burning. She couldn't remember how the workshop looked anymore, only a few fragments of thoughts that she wasn't sure were real anymore.
+Linsan stopped and looked at the valley her family called their own. Six years had erased the memories of what it looked like when she was a little girl and it was burning. She couldn't remember what the workshop looked like anymore, only a few fragments of abstract memories were left behind.
 
 It would be forty years before the trees were old enough to lumber and see if they had retained the qualities that made her family's instruments special. By then, all the skills that went into crafting violins would also be gone; her father showed no interest in teaching her his craft.
 
 She started walking again, straight for the ruins of the workshop. Her heart began to beat faster with anticipation. This was her private place, the quiet valley with painful memories.
 
-Near the opening that used to be the door, she set down her violin case and bag. She popped open her case and took out the violin from the velvet. It wasn't one of her father's but a good-quality one her mother had bought without her father's knowledge.
+Near the opening that once was a door, she set down her violin case and bag. She popped open her case and eased the the violin from the velvet. It wasn't one of her father's but a good-quality one her mother had bought without her father's knowledge.
 
-Stepping away into the knee-high grasses, she tuned it carefully and began to play. It had been a year since the fateful day in the attic. Her mother had given her a new violin as a present and she had played it daily every since. Now, she was comfortable with the instrument and could play simpler songs fluidly.
+Stepping away into the knee-high grasses, she tuned it carefully and began to play. It had been a year since the fateful day in the attic. Her mother had given her a new violin as a present and she had played it every day since. Now, she was comfortable with the instrument and could play simpler songs fluidly.
 
-Her mother was happy that Linsan finally learned less bawdy songs.
+Her mother was also happy Linsan finally taught herself songs that didn't center on butts.
 
 Linsan stood up and started to play. Her first song came out strong, it was a ballad about a girl and a boy. She didn't really know the words, but the melody always drew her. It was sad and sweet at the same, an appropriate song for the ruins.
 
@@ -45,11 +45,11 @@ Closing her eyes, she just let the music flow around her. She imagined her fathe
 
 When Linsan finished, she paused only for a moment and let her mind go back over the song with an analytical view. She noticed where her wrist stiffened up and she missed some notes. There was also a part where the notes didn't quite fit.
 
-She took a moment to center herself and started back into the same song. She had to find the right combination of focus and being relaxed at the same time.
+She took a moment to center herself and started back into the same song. She had to find the right combination of focus and relaxation at the same time.
 
-The sounds of her instrument drifted through the wild flowers and filled the valley.
+The sounds of her instrument drifted through the wildflowers and filled the valley.
 
-She lost the ending into a muddled mess. Frustrated, she let the violin slip from her chin rest. She had to get it, if anything because she needed to be able to play more songs.
+She lost the ending in a muddled mess. Frustrated, she let the violin slip from her chin rest. She had to get it, if anything because she needed to be able to play more songs.
 
 As soon as she started the third attempt, she knew it would end up wrong and she gave up before the fifth measure.
 
@@ -57,9 +57,9 @@ As soon as she started the third attempt, she knew it would end up wrong and she
 
 After a few minutes of moving around, she was calm again. Steeling herself, she brought her violin up and started the same song. The anxiety and frustration grew despite the first notes coming out loud and clear. To fight it, she kept moving. First it was swaying but that wasn't enough. She stepped to the side, almost dancing as she swept through the songs.
 
-Music rose from the bow. She felt it as much as she heard it. With as mile, she kept dancing around, spinning and  sliding with every moment as the song kept going.
+Music rose from the bow. She felt it as much as she heard it. With a smile, she kept dancing, spinning and  sliding with every moment as the song kept going.
 
-When it ended up without a single mistake, she couldn't help but smile. Her entire body hummed with the accomplishment.
+When she finished without a single mistake, she couldn't help but smile. Her entire body hummed with the accomplishment.
 
 She did it again.
 
@@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ Ripped out of her song and dance, Linsan almost lost her balance. She tightened
 
 Laughter followed.
 
-Heart pounding in her chest, she looked around until she saw Brook standing near the gaping entrance of the workshop. A year younger than Linsan, Brook was Dukan's eldest daughter. She had her father's dark hair but the curly hair tumbled over her shoulders and down almost to the small of her back. Even from the opposite side of the ruins, Linsan could tell she still had her makeup on from school but she had switched to a more elegant dress fitting for a show. Both seemed out of place next to the building's ruins.
+Heart pounding in her chest, she looked around until she saw Brook standing near the gaping entrance of the workshop. A year younger than Linsan, Brook was Dukan's eldest daughter. She had her father's dark hair but the curly hair tumbled over her shoulders and down almost to the small of her back. Even from the opposite side of the ruins, Linsan could tell she still had her makeup on from school but had switched to a more elegant dress fitting for a show. Both seemed out of place next to the building's ruins.
 
 The muscles in Linsan's neck and chest tightened. She let the violin drop but kept it away from the bricks. "What do you want?"
 
@@ -79,23 +79,23 @@ The muscles in Linsan's neck and chest tightened. She let the violin drop but ke
 
 Linsan shrugged. "So? You do that all the time."
 
-"Yes, but I already been accepted to the University of Sager. I don't have to be in school, I just happen to enjoy it." Brook rested her hands on her hips. In the light, her pale skin almost glowed. If it wasn't for a narrow brimmed hat with lace trim, her face would burn within an hour. In that regard, she was a lot like Linsan's mother.
+"Yes, but I already been accepted to the University of Sager. I don't have to be in school, I just happen to enjoy it." Brook rested her hands on her hips. In the light, her pale skin almost glowed. If it wasn't for a narrow-brimmed hat with lace trim, her face would burn within an hour. In that regard, she was a lot like Linsan's mother.
 
-Linsan's lips tightened. Her mother was on tour again. She was famed for her skill but the public were always looking for younger dancers and singers, the next act instead of the classics. The jobs were slowly ebbing away, something that she heard her parents arguing about more often lately.
+Linsan's lips tightened. Her mother was on tour again. She was famed for her skill, but the public was always looking for younger dancers and singers, the next act instead of the classics. The jobs were slowly ebbing away, something that she heard her parents arguing about more often lately.
 
 "Did you finally get a letter yourself? What college? Bursam? Panzir? Oh, did that little musical number of yours get you a scholarship at Stone Over Moon Waters?"
 
-Linsan glared at her. She twisted slightly to keep her balance on the ruined wall but she wasn't interested in getting into a brawl. If it went bad, they were at least a half hour away from town.
+Linsan glared at her. She twisted slightly to keep her balance on the ruined wall, but she wasn't interested in getting into a brawl. If it went bad, they were at least a half hour away from town.
 
 Brook sighed and made a show of looking around. Her pale blue dress twirled as she turned. "No, you're going to be stuck flailing around this dead valley until the day you die. You and your father just rotting---"
 
-"Shut it," snapped Linsan. The grip on her violin tightened and she could feel the strings straining against her fingertips. She was flushed, no doubt from the growing anger.
+"Shut it," snapped Linsan. The grip on her violin tightened and she could feel the strings straining against her fingertips. She felt flushed, no doubt from the growing anger.
 
 Brook smirked at her. "Why? You're going nowhere and you know it."
 
 Linsan couldn't help but think about how her father bent over his typewriter, writing out essays about the past. A wave of nausea hit Linsan. She shook her head and crouched down to avoid losing her balance. With one arm clutching her stomach and the other holding her violin, she glared at Brook.
 
-"Don't forget, I've seen your family's legacy in the vaults. Just a single pathetic violin no one has played and a few scorched boxes of paperwork." Her father, Dukan, ran the bank where most of the town stored their precious belongings.
+"Don't forget, I've seen your family's legacy in the vaults. Just a single pathetic violin no one has played and a few scorched boxes of paperwork." Brook's father, Dukan, ran the bank where most of the town stored their precious belongings.
 
 Brook smirked and gestured to the workshop. "That thing wasn't much different than this place, a ruin of someone's life."
 
@@ -105,7 +105,7 @@ Brook glanced down and kicked the violin case. "Your father is a joke and a disg
 
 Linsan tensed.
 
-"We didn't have someone like your mother to pay the bills," she continued with a glare. "There wasn't plays and tours bringing in crowns. My dad had to work every day and night with three jobs to make ends me. I barely saw him for weeks as he scraped the bottom of barrels and raked horse shit."
+"We didn't have someone like your mother to pay the bills," she continued with a glare. "There weren't plays and tours bringing in crowns. My dad had to work every day and night with three jobs to make ends meet. I barely saw him for weeks as he scraped the bottom of barrels and raked horse shit."
 
 Linsan's vision blurred for a moment. She fought back the nausea, she couldn't throw up with Brook standing there.
 
@@ -201,7 +201,7 @@ Brook held up her hands, ready to parry.
 
 Linsan drew a single note across the tight strings.
 
-Her entire world fragments as something rushed out of her. It blew away from her in almost invisible wave of force. The tall grasses flattened almost immediately as did one of the standing walls.
+Her entire world fragmented as something rushed out of her. It blew away from her in almost invisible wave of force. The tall grasses flattened almost immediately as did one of the standing walls.
 
 The force slammed into Brook, throwing her back violently from the ruins. Her body flew over the wall, a sharp edge tearing her dress further apart. She landed with a thud.
 
@@ -221,7 +221,7 @@ The notes were burning in her head and she played them. Energy burst out from he
 
 Brook staggered back. "Bitch!"
 
-Enraged, Linsan continue to play. The sharp tone of the song were far more violent than anything her father had taught her to play but they invoked the shimmering energy to shoot across the distance. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with a note.
+Enraged, Linsan continue to play. The sharp tones of the song were far more violent than anything her father had taught her to play but they invoked the shimmering energy to shoot across the distance. She pummeled Brook with rapid blows, each one in perfect harmony with a note.
 
 She only stopped when Brook fell back in a spray of blood. She stopped, bow ready as she panted. The sick feeling was gone, leaving behind a rush of something far more intense.
 
@@ -229,13 +229,13 @@ A few birds called out.
 
 Linsan's arm began to tremble. The anger ebbed away, leaving behind an exhaustion that startled her. She shook her head. She knew everyone had a magical talent, but no one ever explained how they got it. She always thought it would be some secret ritual her parents would use, but somehow she had just used to magic through her instrument.
 
-She glanced at her bow and gave a little hesitant pull. The note rang out and the energy hummed around her. It fluttered against her skin, a little caresses of power that were almost invisible in the air.
+She glanced at her bow and gave a little hesitant pull. The note rang out and the energy hummed around her. It fluttered against her skin, a little caress of power that was almost invisible in the air.
 
 Brook groaned as she stood up. She was covered in dirt and grime. Blood soaked the side of her face.
 
 Linsan focused on her, holding up the bow to strike again.
 
-"This isn't over, cow," gasped Brook. "We aren't done until I saw we're done."
+"This isn't over, cow," gasped Brook. "We aren't done until I say we're done."
 
 "Leave my family alone."
 
@@ -245,9 +245,9 @@ Rage surged through Linsan. She drew her bow and played a full measure of rapid,
 
 Brook turned. Her face twisted in rage for a moment, then it turned into a strange look of confusion as she peered down at her bloody palms.
 
-Enraged herself, Linsan's bow tore another sharp tones out of the blow and the translucent energy exploded from the violin and shot toward Brook.
+Enraged herself, Linsan's bow tore another sharp sound out of the instrument and the translucent energy exploded from the violin and shot toward Brook.
 
-The other girl looked up. With a scream, she stretched her hands behind her and then swung forward hand to slap her palms together with all her might.
+The other girl looked up. With a scream, she held her hand far apart and then slapped them together with all her might.
 
 A burst of raw noise exploded from Brook in a wave. It slammed into Linsan's blasts and the tones were blasted away. The wave rushed toward Linsan, flattening grasses and shattering the walls of the ruins.
 
@@ -269,4 +269,4 @@ With a hiss of pain, she got up and gathered the remains of her violin case and
 
 Linsan scoffed. Naturally, the gods decided that Brook would have more power.
 
-She sat down heavily and stared at the case. There wasn't much she could do to salvage it, but her violin was more important than paperwork. She emptied out the bag and started to make something to protect her instrument. It was going to be a long wait until near dark, that was the only way she would be sure to avoid brook.
+She sat down heavily and stared at the case. There wasn't much she could do to salvage it, but her violin was more important than paperwork. She emptied out the bag and started to make something to protect her instrument.

chapters/chapter-05.md

@@ -217,10 +217,10 @@ Her father stopped moving for a moment, then he turned and opened the door. "Com
 
 She cringed. "Yes."
 
-"Then it would take the Couples walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing that instrument. After all, you've been teaching yourself on the sly for months. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you properly."
+"Then it would take the Couple walking the earth hand-in-hand to stop you from playing that instrument. After all, you've been teaching yourself on the sly for months. I'd rather you know how to play properly than to hurt someone with a misplaced melody or note. So, you need to have lessons and I'm probably the best person to teach you properly."
 
 She gaped in surprise.
 
-He raised an eyebrow and he smirked. "Your mother is a magnificent creature on the stage but her improv has always been weak. Come on. I also have to write a letter to your mother."
+He raised an eyebrow and he smirked. "Your mother is a magnificent creature on the stage but she needs a script to keep her lies together. Her improvisation has always been weak. Come on. I also have to write a letter to your mother."
 
 Surprised and delighted, Linsan gathered her ruined case and headed up the stairs.

chapters/chapter-06.md

@@ -39,11 +39,11 @@ She sat down and picked up a lace, wide-brimmed hat. Setting it on her piled-hig
 
 Still panting, Linsan sat down heavily next to her. She carefully set the violin back into its case. "Daddy's lessons have helped a lot."
 
-Tisin smiled and patted the back of Linsan's hand. Unlike her daughter, she didn't seem phased by the dancing in the sunlight. With her pale skin, she looked almost ghost-like compared to Linsan's deep tan from visiting the valley every day. She would burn quickly though, which is why she always wore a hat outside even on cloudy days.
+Tisin smiled and patted the back of Linsan's hand. Unlike her daughter, she didn't seem fazed by the dancing in the sunlight. With her pale skin, she looked almost ghost-like compared to Linsan's deep tan from visiting the valley every day. She would burn quickly though, which is why she always wore a hat outside even on cloudy days.
 
 "Thanks for coming with me."
 
-Tisin smiled and looked around. "Your father used to take me up here when we were courting. We would just sit on the porch of the workshop and watch the red birds fly. There were two nests over there and they had the prettiest little chicks." She gestured to an empty space.
+Tisin smiled and looked around. "Your father used to bring me here when we were courting. We would just sit on the porch of the workshop and watch the red birds fly. There were two nests over there and they had the prettiest little chicks." She gestured to an empty space.
 
 Linsan looked around at the few remaining walls. They were almost completely erased by time. In a few more years, there wouldn't be more than a little debris to identify the passing. "It's sad now, isn't it?"
 
@@ -71,7 +71,7 @@ Tisin shrugged. "Does it matter?"
 
 "That is our tradition. Seven generations."
 
-"Maybe and maybe not," Tisin said. "We never know how the future is going to play. Two years ago, I was convinced that Sian---your father---would never play a violin again. But ever since you gained your talent, he's been playing again. At first, it was to teach you but now, he just does it because it makes him feel good."
+"Maybe and maybe not," Tisin said. "We never know how the future is going to play. Two years ago, I was convinced that Sian would never play a violin again. But ever since you gained your talent, he's been playing again. At first, it was to teach you but now, he just does it because it makes him feel good."
 
 She smiled broadly and licked a bit of butter from the box that held the sandwiches. "I love hearing the sounds of you two playing when I come home."
 
@@ -131,6 +131,8 @@ It didn't seem right. Her mother was a wonderful actress. She had been touring K
 
 "*No Soul Left Uneaten.* My tits were never large enough for Tabil and I won't cheat on your father." Tisin did a little shimmy and a grin, but there was a hollowness in her eyes.
 
+**Money?**
+
 Linsan reached down and plucked some flowers. She toyed with the petals, working her thumb along the edge until it crumbled. "Are we going to have trouble with money then?"
 
 For the first time in Linsan's memory, Tisin's smile faded.
@@ -141,6 +143,8 @@ A cold shiver ran down Linsan's spine.
 
 Hating the feeling of dread that draped over her, Linsan thought about their situation. She never had to worry about money, but she knew it was always tight ever since the fire. It had been years since they lost everything, everything but a few boxes and Palisis, her father's last violin.
 
+**Seems like mind-reading here.**
+
 "No," said Tisin said sharply.
 
 Linsan jumped. "What?"