fix: integrated edits from seven and eight

chapters/chapter-001.md

@@ -2,12 +2,12 @@
 title: Always Moving
 age: 5 years
 summary: >
-    While Linsan waits for her mother to come home, she bounces around on the furniture and talks to her father. She announces that she has named a violin her father is making Palisis and learns that the violin is for her father's first wife who got married to her mother's best friend.
+    While Linsan Sterlig waits for her mother to come home, she bounces around on the furniture and talks to her father. She announces that she has named a violin her father is making Palisis and learns that the violin is for her father's first wife who got married to her mother's best friend.
 teaser: >
     Linsan is impatiently waiting for her mother to come back. As she does, she bounces around the furniture and teases her father.
 ---
 
-> For eight generations, the Sterlig Family crafted some of the most treasured string instruments throughout Kormar. --- _History of Traditional Music_
+> For eight generations, the Sterlig Family crafted some of the most treasured string instruments throughout Gepaul. --- _History of Traditional Music_
 
 Linsan bounced on her family's new couch. With a flip of her green skirt, she did a somersault along the cushions before flopping against the opposite arm. The couch creaked from the impact but she didn't care. With a grin, she pushed herself over the edge until her head dangled over the blue-and-white patterned rug below.
 

chapters/chapter-007.md

@@ -9,9 +9,9 @@ age: 18 years
 
 > There is no switch that flips when one becomes an adult in the eyes of the law. No magical changes or alterations, just the same thoughts in an older body. --- _Gone Without Water_ (Act 2, Scene 1)
 
-Linsan had only been eighteen for a day and she was about to do the first adult thing she could think of: ask for money. Her mother had not had a job or show since last summer and her father's commissions for essays were dwindling every week. Both of her parents tried to keep it hidden from her. However, ever since her mother's confession during their summer picnic, Linsan couldn't help but notice the gradual tightening of the purse strings.
+Linsan had only been eighteen for a day and she was about to do the first adult thing she could think of: ask for money. Her mother had not had a job or show since last summer and her father's commissions for essays were dwindling every week. Both of her parents tried to keep it hidden from her.
 
-It started with buying a little less at the store for food. Then it was replacing their favorite teas with more local ones with less flavor. Then the dairy delivery went from every three days to once a week and then every other week. Her mother's dresses changed with their fortune, the fancy materials carefully wrapped and placed in the attic. The ones she wore to clean house became her daily outfits, though she never stopped wearing hats and the occasional gloves. The fanciest she got was when her weekly students came in to learn how to sing. There were only three of them.
+Since her mother's confession during their summer picnic, Linsan couldn't help but notice the gradual tightening of the purse strings. It started with buying a little less at the store for food. Then it was replacing their favorite teas with more local ones with less flavor. Then the dairy delivery went from every three days to once a week and then every other week. Her mother's dresses changed with their fortune, the fancy materials carefully wrapped and placed in the attic. The ones she wore to clean house became her daily outfits, though she never stopped wearing hats and the occasional gloves. The fanciest she got was when her weekly students came in to learn how to sing. There were only three of them.
 
 What started as a vague idea became a necessity when Linsan saw how anxious both of her parents were for the monthly monies that came from Dukan. He had continued to do well for himself with the occasional appearance in the newspapers or a notice about a new purchase he had made. She hadn't seen him in better part of five years though, true to his word, he didn't come around any longer and she only had a vague idea of what he looked like.
 
@@ -19,17 +19,23 @@ The only reminder came once a month like clockwork, two hundred and fifty cukdin
 
 Dukan had said the money would last until a few years after school. With her final days in a few weeks, she decided to head for his bank and ask for an extension and possibly more money. Maybe he would be generous. Just until her mother got another show or her father got a commission for a book or something more dramatic than the weekly newspapers.
 
-Linsan decided to ask. What was the worst that could happen? So, on the day after her birthday, she stepped out of the house before the sun breached the horizon. It was a cool morning, not quite cold enough to cause her breath to fog but still a reminder that winter had ended less than a month ago. She tugged on her wool coat over her best dress and headed down the walk.
+What was the worst that could happen?
+
+The day after her birthday was the best day to ask. From an article in the newspaper, she had learned that he only worked one day a week at the bank and she vaguely remembered that he had said the money would come until she turned eighteen. That meant the check her family hoped would show up soon might never come unless she asked.
+
+To make sure she caught him, she left before the sun breached the horizon. It was a cool morning, not quite cold enough to cause her breath to fog but still a reminder that winter had ended less than a month ago. She tugged on her wool coat over her best dress and headed down the walk.
+
+Doubt gnawed at her stomach and she clenched her hands tightly together. She wanted to run back home and just pray to the Couple that the money would remain. To ease herself, she let her imagination run wild to distract herself from her own nervousness.
 
 In her mind, she imagined what he would say. Would he demand some sort of service? If it was to work for him at the bank, she couldn't say no to that. She was about to finish school and a steady job, even one that didn't have anything to do with music, was better than none. She would gladly help her parents with that. It didn't matter if he asked her to become a maid, factory worker, or even a herald.
 
 She wouldn't give up the violin though. Even though she didn't understand the emotional connection between Palisis and her parents, she knew it was more important than anything else. They were willing to not sell the violin for potentially millions of cukdins because of its importance. She wouldn't betray them by ever letting that violin go.
 
-Linsan wasn't sure if that offer would ever come u. She had no clue how Dukan had changed in five years, much less what the bank looked like inside. Years ago, she walked with her mother and a wheelbarrow to deliver supplies from the attic to the bank but she had remained outside while her mother went inside.
+Linsan had no clue how Dukan had changed in five years, much less what the bank looked like inside. The newspaper articles had illustrations of him, but the block prints were nothing compared to seeing the real man.
 
-That was the day when Tisin had made Linsan promise that she would never tell anyone that she had played the instrument. Even a simple melody would diminish the value of the instrument drastically, turning millions into hundreds.
+The last time she had even gotten close was after he had moved. Her mother had taken a wheelbarrow to delivery the last of the crates from the attic to the bank vault. Everything of value, from centuries of log books, notes on crafting instruments, and even pieces of music composed by the Sterlig had joined Palasis in the vault, never to see light again.
 
-No, Linsan couldn't do that either.
+That was the day when Tisin had made Linsan promise that she would never tell anyone that she had played the instrument. Even a simple melody played by a musician with magical powers would diminish the value of the instrument drastically, turning millions into hundreds. Linsan didn't understand why, but it sounded like superposition more than anything else; she didn't remember a feeling of power when she played it that one day in the attic.
 
 A cold wind blew past her, tugging on her coat.
 

chapters/chapter-008.md

@@ -13,19 +13,19 @@ On foot, it took Linsan almost two hours to reach the center of town. Her fantas
 
 With her imagination exhausted, she entertained herself with the construction around the city center. It looked like every fifth building was being torn down, the classic styles with carved pillars and reliefs were in the process of being replaced with two- and three-story buildings with intricate wrought iron, massive windows, and delicate stonework.
 
-In the back of her head, she couldn't imagine how much the new construction cost. Her family was struggling to pay the bills but everyone seemed to be prospering.
+In the back of her head, she couldn't imagine how much the new construction cost. Her family was struggling to pay the bills but everyone else seemed to be prospering.
 
-A little of her confidence faded with doubt. Did Dukan already have skilled employees? She couldn't do much besides play a violin and dance and she wasn't sure if she had a place among the money being thrown around to build everything.
+Her confidence faded with doubt. Did Dukan already have skilled employees? She couldn't do much besides play a violin and dance and she wasn't sure if she had a place among the money being thrown around to build everything.
 
-She reached the city square, a three by three block park that had places for picnics, galleries, and even a small zoo with "marvelous creatures from the forbidden deserts!" She chuckled but didn't have the time or the three cukdins to go through the exhibit.
+She reached the city square. The center was a large park with plenty of places for picnics, galleries, and even a small zoo with "marvelous creatures from the forbidden deserts!" She chuckled but didn't have the time or the three cukdins to go through the exhibit.
 
-Not wanting to tease herself with the zoo, she circled around until she spotted Dukan's bank on the far side. It was just like she remembered from before, a one-story building that reached deep into the block. Six thick pillars marked the entrance, each one a carved figure of a man carrying books or a staves. She vaguely remembered them as heads of the various banking unions throughout Kormar, but she didn't know their names or even what they did.
+Not wanting to tease herself with the zoo, she circled around until she spotted Dukan's bank on the far side. It was just like she remembered, a one-story building that reached deep into the block. Six thick pillars marked the entrance, each one a carved figure of a man and carrying something different: a stack of books, an intricate staff, a pair of coins, a large mechanical lock, a miniature house, and an equally small ship. She vaguely remembered them as heads of the various banking unions throughout Gepaul, but she didn't know their names or even the significance of each item.
 
-Linsan hesitated on the opposite side of the road, one foot in the park and the other on the boardwalk that surrounded it. Around her, men in suits and ladies in dresses hurried around as they headed to their jobs and hobbies.
+Linsan hesitated on the opposite side of the road, one foot in the park and the other on the boardwalk that surrounded it. Around her, men in suits and ladies in dresses hurried along as they headed to their jobs and hobbies.
 
 She felt scared and nervous. Tugging on her wool coat, she couldn't decide if she should take it off or leave it on. It was warm but the sweat prickling her brow came from her nervousness, not the sunlight that rose above the roofs.
 
-A high-pitched horn cut through the din. She turned to the sound as a vehicle came rolling around the corner. It was another of the automatic carriages, the black panels shining as the driver honk their horn to chase a horse and people out of the way.
+A high-pitched horn cut through the din. She turned to the sound as a vehicle came rolling around the corner. It was another of the automatic carriages, the black panels shining as the drivers honked their horns to chase horses and people out of the way.
 
 Seeing the car was another change that Linsan hadn't gotten used to yet. Only the rich could afford them but there were a lot more in the city. She had seen at least three on her way to the bank, but the horses still outnumbered the steam-belching devices.
 
@@ -47,7 +47,7 @@ Linsan stepped away.
 
 The lady driver slipped out smoothly and came around the back of the car. She had a small purse in her hand but looked like she was going to a formal dinner with the way she walked with almost perfect posture that left her back arched just slightly and neck held high.
 
-Linsan couldn't help but smile at the sight. After seeing her mother's craft, she could tell how the driver was straining slightly to keep herself in the right position and watched her steps from the corner of her eyes. She was showing off for the public.
+Linsan couldn't help but smile at the sight. After seeing her mother's craft, she could tell the driver strained slightly to keep herself in the right position and watched her steps from the corner of her eyes. She was showing off for the public.
 
 Their eyes met for just a second and then the lady continued past the car without giving any indication that she saw Linsan. She headed straight toward the bank. Her black hair bounced with every step, the curls glistening in the sunlight.
 
@@ -65,11 +65,11 @@ Linsan opened her mouth but she didn't know what to say.
 
 With a delicate step, the woman in green stepped into the boardwalk. "I haven't seen you in... what? Three years? Four? You still have that ruined valley outside of town? Or that shitty home on the edge?"
 
-It took only a heartbeat longer for Linsan to realize who she was talking to, Brook. Brook's voice still had the disdain and disgust from before, but somehow her more refined voice had sharpened the words.
+It took only a heartbeat longer for Linsan to realize who she was talking to. Brook's voice still had the disdain and disgust from before, but somehow her more refined voice had sharpened the words.
 
 Linsan's stomach clenched and she felt sick and humiliated. "Y... Yes."
 
-Brook snorted and pointedly look at Linsan from head to toe. Her dark gaze could be felt more than seen. It took a long count before she looked up again. She just shook her head and gave a disapproving sigh.
+Brook snorted and pointedly looked at Linsan from head to toe. Her dark gaze could be felt more than seen. It took a long count before she looked up again. She just shook her head and gave a disapproving sigh.
 
 Linsan blushed.
 
@@ -147,9 +147,9 @@ Brook drew back and shoved Linsan with both hands. "---off!"
 
 An explosion drowned out anything else Brook said. The concussion wave crashed into the car, shoving it closer to the curb.
 
-Linsan's foot caught on the wheel but she managed to pull it free before the car tilted toward them. Shattered glass from the windows rained down on them, the sharp edges of the shards cutting across Linsan's face. Scaling liquid added to her cuts as a cup upended from inside the vehicle.
+Linsan's foot caught on the wheel but she managed to pull it free before the car tilted toward them. Shattered glass from the windows rained down on them, the sharp edges of the shards cutting across Linsan's face. Scalding liquid added to her cuts as a cup upended from inside the vehicle.
 
-Brook screamed shrilling, only stopping as an intense wave of heat blew past them.
+Brook screamed shrilly, only stopping as an intense wave of heat blew past them.
 
 Linsan panted in fear as she looked around. Her face was dripping and she could taste a strange sweetness on her lips. Licking it without thinking, she almost coughed on the bitter taste of tea and too much sugar. Her ears were ringing and she couldn't hear anything. In the park, almost everyone had been thrown to the ground and small fires were burning everywhere. Trees and grasses had been flatted by the explosion.
 
@@ -163,9 +163,9 @@ Something tickled her hand. Glancing down, she saw rivers of crimson pouring dow
 
 Dazed, Linsan reached up and pulled it out. She could feel the wet sucking before it popped free with a gout of blood. Her hand trembling, she tossed the glass aside and then looked around for something to stop the blood that poured out.
 
-She couldn't tell why she wasn't panicking, or why it didn't hurt. She couldn't find anything obvious until she peered into Brook's hard. There was a blue scarf that looked like it was part of a fancy dress but it looked thick. She grabbed it and then wrapped it around her arm, wincing without really feeling the pain.
+She couldn't tell why she wasn't panicking, or why it didn't hurt. She couldn't find anything obvious until she peered into Brook's hand. There was a blue scarf that looked like it was part of a fancy dress but it looked thick. She grabbed it and then wrapped it around her arm, wincing without really feeling the pain.
 
-Brook blinked, her body shaking just as violently as Linsan. She looked up with a tortured out and then her lips moved a moment before the words came out. "... happened?" It was difficult to hear her over the ringing in Linsan's ears.
+Brook blinked, her body shaking just as violently as Linsan. She looked up with a tortured expression and then her lips moved a moment before the words came out. "... happened?" It was difficult to hear her over the ringing in Linsan's ears.
 
 Linsan gestured toward the bank. "The bank?"
 
@@ -177,9 +177,9 @@ The other woman mouthed the words. Then, her eyes widened as she scrambled to he
 
 Spinning around, she gasped at the sight of the bank. "Daddy!" she screamed as she raced around the ruined car and barreled toward the burning building.
 
-Linsan wasn't expecting Brook's to run toward the flames, it took her painful heartbeats to chase after her. "Brook!"
+Linsan wasn't expecting Brook to run toward the flames. She scrambled after Brook screaming her name.
 
-Brook raced across the burning street, her torn dress fluttering over small flames but not long enough for them to catch fire. Her hat tumbled off her shoulder, abandoned and forgotten.
+Brook raced across the burning street, her torn dress fluttering through small fires but she moved too fast for the fabric to catch fire.
 
 To Linsan's relief, she stopped on the sidewalk in front of the building. Even from that distance, the heat was intense. It beat against Linsan's face, billowing at her as they both stared into the inferno in shock.
 
@@ -187,9 +187,11 @@ To Linsan's relief, she stopped on the sidewalk in front of the building. Even f
 
 Linsan looked around. "Where is the fire brigade? I... I...." She didn't know where to go.
 
-A strange melody drifting pass the howling flames. It sounds like a string instrument of some sort and she thought about the unusual men who passed them earlier. Confused, she looked deeper into the flames.
+A strange melody drifted through the howling flames. It sounds like a string instrument of some sort and she thought about the unusual men who passed them earlier. Confused, she peered past the broken glass to inspect the musician standing in a circle of fire.
 
-There was a man standing in the middle of the flames, playing with no concern for the fires that roared around him. His leather duster was fluttering as he spun around, playing rapidly with a foreign tune. His instrument didn't look like anything she had seen before. It looked almost like a mandolin except that it had six strings and bars along the neck. The man's fingers were flying up and down the neck as he played with his other hand. With each melody, the flames around him seemed to shift and grow.
+There was a man standing in the middle of the flames, playing with no concern for the fires that roared around him. His leather duster was fluttering as he spun around, playing rapidly a foreign tune. His instrument didn't look like anything she had seen before. It looked almost like a mandolin except the shape was more angular than anyone she had seen and the sounds were compressed. It sounded as if it had metal strings instead of gut.
+
+The man's fingers flew along the neck, tapping along the individual strings with stunning speed. With each note plucked with his other hand, ripples of power radiated along his fingertips until a powerful chord blasted away from the instrument in sheets of flame.
 
 Linsan gasped. The stranger was causing or controlling the flames. She reached out and tapped Brook. "Look!"
 
@@ -211,7 +213,7 @@ Linsan raised her arm to protect her face.
 
 When she peeked back, Brook was storming into the burning bank. Her hands clapped together and another explosion blew parts of the wall away.
 
-"Brook!" screamed Linsan and chased after her. She didn't have any ability to do anything, not without a music instrument. She had left her own violin at home, thinking she wouldn't need it.
+"Brook!" screamed Linsan and chased after her and into the building. She didn't have any ability to do anything, not without a music instrument. She had left her own violin at home, thinking she wouldn't need it, but she couldn't leave Brook to fight the stranger alone.
 
 Inside, the heat was overwhelming. It felt like it was sucking the air out of Linsan's lungs and causing her skin to crawl with sharp scratches. Everything was burning and her eyes were blurred from the smoke and heat.
 
@@ -247,7 +249,7 @@ Brook couldn't reach him with her power as she struggled against the man between
 
 However, the repeated impacts were causing damage to the burning bank. Wood and embers plummeted around them. The floor beneath everyone cracked and shuddered with each magical blast.
 
-Linsan focused on the vault but the flames had risen up and her way was blocked. She growled with frustration, she needed to help Brook and she was useless with an instrument; not that she knew what to do but Til was obviously adept at using music to attack.
+Linsan focused on the vault but the flames had risen up and her way was blocked. She growled with frustration, she needed to help Brook and she was useless without an instrument; not that she knew what to do but Til was obviously adept at using music to attack.
 
 The ground shuddered violently as boards split apart. Jets of flames rose up around all of them.