feat: finished first draft

TASKS.md

@@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
--   [x] Trusted Individuals
--   [x] First Hour, Day, Week, Month, and Year
--   [ ] Security
-    -   [ ] Backups
--   [ ] Review
--   [ ] Legal
--   [x] Children
--   [ ] Spread the load
--   [x] Versioning
--   [x] EPUB/PDF

language.json

@@ -1,3 +1,9 @@
 {
-    "knownWords": ["Moonfire", "md"]
+    "knownWords": [
+        "BitWarden",
+        "Moonfire",
+        "NonCommercial-ShareAlike",
+        "derecho",
+        "md"
+    ]
 }

src/circumstances.md

@@ -16,6 +16,6 @@ Dying is terrifying for everyone. It is the unknown end for us but also this gap
 
 ## Incapacitation
 
-There are other reasons for needing this planning, and that is the case when you have a stroke, heart attack, or somehow become completely incapacitated and unable to function. These same rules apply. A percentage of stroke victims never recover and it could be months or even years of incapacitation that require a [caretaker](./caretakers.md) and much of the same recovery.
+There are other reasons for needing to plan, and that is the case when you have a stroke, heart attack, or somehow become completely incapacitated and unable to function. Most of the same rules apply. A percentage of stroke victims never recover and it could be months or even years of incapacitation that require a [caretaker](./caretakers.md) and much of the same recovery.
 
 As much as we wish it otherwise, an "exit plan" also covers these situations. There is a chance you might be able to give hints or suggestions or fixes, but plan as if you are unable to.

src/compassion.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 Planning for the end is a compassion act. It is trying to ease our passing to the ones who survive. It is easy to just write down details, tasks, and items to do. You think of them as you do the plan or while you go about your life.
 
-> Oh, this is a new car. I better update where I'm putting the title.
+> "Oh, I love this new car. I better update where I'm putting the title."
 
 There is another component to this, it is probably a grieving person reading your plan and you aren't there. We need to acknowledge that in addition to the pieces, but at the same time, keep them relatively separate and not distracting.
 
@@ -14,8 +14,16 @@ The first page in our [file](./documentation.md) is a just a little and nothing
 
 It's going to be the first thing they see, the first thing they may always see when they go into the file. They need to know not to be scared or terrified. They need to know they can survive without you because they have to survive without you.
 
-The movie, _P.S. I Love You_ (2007) is an inspiration for this. We can't always write letters to send our loved ones, but we can at least give them encouragements, words of affection, and remind them that we know what they are doing.
+It probably wouldn't hurt to have other personal things in there. This is a way of comforting through the future.
+
+> Dylan: I like writing poems and letters. So I use the pages to signify the [time](./time.md) categories with little notes for my partner.
 
 Feel free to put a poem, a picture, or something that is important. Maybe a letter. It's that personal connection that is important. It is quite possible they have to put it aside, but those mementos might also be what keeps them going in the long nights that follow.
 
 Obviously, you don't know who is actually going to be reading the file or they have company. Also, this file is used when you can't help you might still be around, so this is not the time to confess to affairs, murders, or crimes. Don't ruin it for them.
+
+## Consider the Future
+
+The movie, _P.S. I Love You_ (2007) is an inspiration for this, but write letters in the future. We can't be there for them, but we can write something that might help.
+
+> Dylan: I have a few letters in letter that are sealed envelopes. They are marked with simple phrases like "When You Miss Me" or "When Things Get Too Much" and they are just little notes of encouragement. I know my partner might go through them all in a day or they may dole it out over years, but they are there.

src/documentation.md

@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@ Start simple. Plain, just a few words. If you try to document all the things at
 
 ## Origin Documentation
 
-Your documentation needs to start from a single, well-known point. This can be a manilla envelope in a file cabinet or thrown in the back of the closet. The key part is that it is [secure](./security.md) and [trusted](./trust.md) people know where to find it.
+Your documentation needs to start from a single, well-known point. This can be a manila envelope in a file cabinet or thrown in the back of the closet. The key part is that it is [secure](./security.md) and [trusted](./trust.md) people know where to find it.
 
 If it is in your house, make sure they have keys or they know how to get in your house. You do not want the origin to be in a safe deposit box because that requires legal paperwork and probably a key to get it out.
 
@@ -52,5 +52,6 @@ The above example is probably a [first day](./time.md) item. Put it right at the
 
 ## Useful Information
 
+-   [Notices](./notices.md)
 -   [Password Vaults](./passwords.md)
 -   [Bank Accounts](./financial.md)

src/funerals.md

@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+# Funerals
+
+Let your wishes be known for how you want to handle it. This is a personal choice, so much of this part is going to be personal opinions.
+
+Funerals are expensive for what they provide, which is closure for the living. The rituals and organization of them has an emotional toil on your survivors. It is also a very profitable industry.
+
+You need to decide if you want that cost. Because the money spent for an expensive coffin or grand affair is money that can't be spent making sure your loved ones can pay the bills. You need to decide what is important to you and them. If they need a funeral for closure, then talk to them and decide. If you need to know there is a big affair, then that's your choice.
+
+> Dylan's wishes are as simple: cremation as cheap and quick as possible. Donate organs if possible. Have a pot luck dinner or have a night out with friends and family instead. Talk about the good things and remember I love all of you.
+>
+> I'd rather my partner spend $150 for a cardboard coffin and some legal affairs while being able to use the thousands of dollars that would have been spent on a coffin that would be crushed (thank you MythBusters) the moment it is buried.
+
+As we said, this is a very personal thing. For our point of view, we're done. There is no coming back from the dead at that point and our plans are focused on the survivors for that very reason.

src/getting-started.md

@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+# Getting Started
+
+The first steps to coming up with a plan can be overwhelming. Just remember, [start small](./tenants.md) and build up over time. Just a single paper helping is better than nothing. A single letter of affection could make the difference of a broken heart and rekindled resolve.
+
+If you are lost, start with something you can do in ten minutes (and maybe a quick trip to the grocery store):
+
+-   [Set up a password manager](./passwords.md)
+-   [Find a large envelope you can seal](./documentation.md)
+-   Write down how to get into your passwords including one-time passwords
+-   Put it into the envelope and seal it
+-   Write "In Case of Death or Incapacitation" on the front
+-   Put it somewhere safe
+-   [Let someone know](./trust.md)
+
+Every once in a while, you want to expand on the details beyond just the passwords:
+
+-   If you have an idea that someone needs, write it down
+-   [Review what you write on occasion and expand on it](./review.md)
+
+While you are doing this, you want to figure out who can you can trust to do things:
+
+-   [Figure out who you can trust to help](./trust.md)
+-   [Figure out who can help your trusted folk](./support.md)
+-   [Find someone to take care of your children and pets](./children.md)
+-   [Select someone to handle financial information](./financial.md)
+-   [Write letters and thank them, put it in your file](./compassion.md)
+-   Let them know what you are doing
+-   [Write up notices and post them various places](./notices.md)
+
+There is also a knot of legal tasks you want to get done. Thankfully, these don't require much effort once they are done, but you'll still want to review them occasion.
+
+-   [Get a will](./legal.md)
+-   Figure out your powers of attorneys
+-   [Find a way of handling incapacitation](./incapacitation.md)

src/incapacitation.md

@@ -22,6 +22,8 @@ This is a thing that breaks our heart. We've seen parents driving an hour every
 
 Being incapacitated is horrible for everyone involved. It makes others uncomfortable and they... find excuses not to be there. They don't come by to have time. It gets worse when you have some injuries (like strokes) that drastically change personalities. Sometimes you'll become more aggressive or violent; it isn't your fault but you won't be able to stop them.
 
+> Dylan: A family member drove almost every day to visit their daughter in a nursing home. Alone. The same one did the same for their spouse years later.
+
 So what happens in these situations is that there is a chance you'll be reduced down to a single person who will have to bear the full brunt of what has happened.
 
 There is probably nothing you can do about that.

src/index.md

@@ -4,13 +4,17 @@ We plan for the birth of our children but rarely do we prepare ourself for death
 
 This isn't one long document because the idea is to keep things to reasonable chunks of information. Also, in hopes of being able to find specific topics when needed.
 
-⚠️ We are not lawyers. These is things to be aware of and experiences that have happened. In many cases, you might need a lawyer involved and we're not it.
+⚠️ We are not lawyers. These is things to be aware of and experiences that have happened. In many cases, you might need a lawyer involved and we're not it. ⚠️
 
 The [introduction](./introduction.md) is a short essay on why planning for the end is important. It's a bit poetic, but seems like an easy way to explain why this was written and its purpose. We also have some [tenants](./tenants.md) which guide the process of creating an exit plan.
 
-The next section, [circumstances](./circumstances.md), is the beginning to talk about the situations that happens when exit planning is needed. Also, we talk about [time](./time.md) because that is critical to how we organize things.
+The next section, [circumstances](./circumstances.md), is the beginning to talk about the situations that happens when exit planning was needed. There are also additional issues when discussing [incapacitation](./incapacitation.md). Also, we talk about [time](./time.md) because that is critical to how we organize things.
 
-From there, we have two basic topics that need to be addressed: the [compassionate](./compassion.md) side of things and the [technical details](./documentation.md). These are both important, both to help ease the grief of our passing but also the concrete steps that need to be done next.
+Following that, you want to consider the [compassionate](./compassion.md) side of things and the [technical details](./documentation.md). These are both important, both to help ease the grief of our passing but also the concrete steps that need to be done next. It also is where thinking about who you [trust to help](./trust.md) and establishing a [support network](./support.md) to help your trusted people.
+
+Some of your priorities are going to be figuring out the [legal](./legal.md) issues, starting with what happens to your [children and pets](./children.md) if you have them. Also, how you want your [funeral](./funeral.md) to be arranged.
+
+Over time, you'll [review](./review.md) this information, set up some basic [security](./security.md) to keep it up to date. This also means making sure your [passwords](./passwords.md) is up to date [financial information](./financial.md).
 
 ## Primary Links
 

src/legal.md

@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+# Legal
+
+⚠️ We are not lawyers and this isn't legal advice. ⚠️
+
+There are times when you need something [documented](./documentation.md) but with legal might behind it. The two biggest ones are your will and powers of attorneys.
+
+## Will
+
+Get a will.
+
+No matter how much you plan, the legal system requires something a bit more formal. It also doesn't care much about your [passwords](./passwords.md) or writing [letters to your loved ones](./compassion.md) but it is important for things like children and property.
+
+There are easy ways to do it, but they are dependent on your locale. You might be able to get away with a [simple one at first](./tenants.md) but then expand as needed.
+
+The important parts are:
+
+-   Who has the children
+-   Who handles the finances
+-   Who has the powers of attorney
+
+They may only have a [day or so](./time.md) to pull it out when it happens.
+
+## Powers of Attorney
+
+We might have strong opinions about [incapacitation](./incapacitation.md), mostly in the social, financial, and emotional costs involved. You may not. But, if it isn't written down, then no one knows. If you have a "do not resuscitate" order, then make sure it is written down and documented.
+
+Knowing your wishes is a first hour type of thing but being able to get the legal documentation seems to be a first day thing.
+
+## Trusts
+
+If you have the means, setting up trusts (including medical trusts) will help things go a long way in helping others.

src/notices.md

@@ -0,0 +1,10 @@
+# Notices
+
+One of the key parts is making sure that the information is communicated. This can be hard, but you can put notices in various key places to let doctors, police, and emergency folks know where to look. This should be public information and [first hour](./time.md), so you don't want to put passwords. Also give the contact information to your [trusted people](./trust.md).
+
+-   Write it on a card, put it in a zip-lock, and stick it in your freezer. This is inspired by the "In Case of Emergency" (ICE).
+-   Write it on a card and put it in the glove compartment of your car.
+-   Put it in the emergency banner on your phone.
+-   If you have a smaller card, having one in your wallet or purse would help.
+
+Mostly, this is information that a stranger would have a chance of looking and know where to start.

src/review.md

@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+# Reviewing
+
+Trying to write the perfect exit plan is not only overwhelming, it is also impossible. You can't come up with every situation, every possibility, or know the future. The best thing to do is start small and add things over time.
+
+## Periodic Reviews
+
+A good way of doing this is to periodically review the notes. This is just a semi-random event where you just open up your [documentation](./documentation.md) and look for anything out of day, maybe add a page or two, and then seal it back up.
+
+For us, we do this the week we also file taxes.
+
+> "Tis impossible to be sure of anything but Death and Taxes."
+>
+> --- Christopher Bullock
+
+Storing your documentation in the same places as your taxes makes it easier. It also gives you a reminder without having to "nag" you for months that you should do it.
+
+This is also a good time to change your master password on your [passwords](./passwords.md) or other once-a-year things that need to be done.
+
+## Major Events
+
+For most of us, we can only change our benefits during "life events" such as having a child, losing one, getting married or divorce. These are also good times to review your file. If you have a child, are they in your will and have you written what you want to do?
+
+If you are getting a divorce, there is a good chance you will want to remove your spouse from your [trusted](./trust.md) people list if there a possibility of a conflict.
+
+> Dylan: A family member was in a car accident. Since he didn't have a plan in place or other legal documentation, his care when to his wife... who he was in the middle of a divorce at the time of the accident.
+
+## Skipping
+
+Sometimes, life gets in the way. If you find that you can't do it, then skip it. However, the more skip, the more likely the information in your documentation will become stale and be less than useful.
+
+Remember, death and injury can come at any time. You don't get to choose how you leave, but you can choose what you leave behind.

src/security.md

@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+# Security
+
+There is one danger of this [documentation](./documentation.md). By its nature, you have to give the "keys to the kingdom" including all the information needed to basically steal your life. But, without them, your survivors can't take over.
+
+This means you need to view how you create, store, and document. This is why putting things in a file box isn't always a good choice, you don't know if someone has been in it. Someone truly dedicated getting into it will possibly do it, but hopefully you be able to detect when someone has gotten in when you [review](./review.md) your documentation.
+
+If someone does get into your file, that's the time you need to go on a password-changing spree and rewriting documentation. Finding out who got in would also be helpful since you need to change it.
+
+## Attack Surface
+
+This is the balancing act with exit planning. You need the information to be available when needed but also reduce the chance of temptation to get into it. The easier you have, the more likely someone can get to it.
+
+One approach is to require a password key or combination lock to get into it. This works if you have a waterproof safe that you keep your documentation. You don't write down the code but give it to your [trusted people](./trust.md). This reduces the number of people who might have access.
+
+> Kenneth has notes for his technical son to recover an encrypted file from his laptop to get his notes. His other son has the password.
+
+Putting these "do not write down" is risky since you are then limiting who can access it. If there is a major accident, like a car collision that puts multiple people in the hospital, everyone who knows the safe combination may be incapacitated.
+
+## Scenarios
+
+This is where you have to come with scenarios and see if you want to plan for them. Come up with what-ifs and try to figure out how you want to handle it. You may come up with "and there is nothing I can do about it" as an answer, but at least you thought about it.
+
+> Dylan: I lived in Cedar Rapids in 2008. I was unable to return home for months with the first one. In 2020, a derecho did significant damage to our house but a co-worker had their entire home destroyed by the winds. If that happens, I'm going to put a second copy of my plan at my in-laws house thirty miles away.
+
+There are a number of ways to handle these scenarios, but coming up with them is dependent on you and your life and situation. But, also remember that if you do things like have a second copy of your plans, you are increasing your attack surface.

src/support.md

@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+# Support
+
+We touched on this topic in the [incapacitation](./incapacitation.md) post, but death is an uncomfortable topic and there is natural pressures for one person to take on the burden of handling your passing.
+
+> Dylan: My partner had to deal with their father's death by themselves because his brothers simply ignored everything except for showing up at the funeral.
+
+You want to avoid this because it leads to burnout and unhappiness. But, no matter what you do, you can't make someone help but you can at least encourage it by establishing a support network that wants to help you continue.
+
+In your [documentation](./documentation), give suggestions of someone who can help with aspects of your plan. If you have technical parts, list names and phones and emails of your [trusted](./trust.md) technical friends. If you know someone who enjoys breaking through tape, let them know.
+
+Ideally, these friends would volunteer themselves. It doesn't always work out that way and your survivors may not feel comfortable asking. There are no hard and fast rules for that, there aren't even good suggestions because it is based on yours.
+
+## When Friends Don't Work
+
+If something is important to you and you can't count on someone who help out of the kindness of their hearts, you may need to go with someone professional. Lawyers and banks will handle things like finances, you can set up [trusts](./legal.md) to manage accounts, or a whole slew of other things.
+
+These all cost something most of us don't have---money---but it might be important for things you care about.
+
+## Reward Those Who Do
+
+Caring for the end is a thankless task in many ways. If you can find a way to make it give thanks, that will encourage those who do it for their own needs and reward those who do it out of the kindness of their hearts.
+
+This is also how you live your life comes into play. If you are someone who helps, then maybe others will do the same.

src/tenants.md

@@ -13,3 +13,7 @@ When this plan is needed, they can't just run over and ask you to explain someth
 > Limit what needs to be known in an emergency.
 
 Whoever is going to take over is not you. They don't have your knowledge and they probably haven't been thinking about it as long as you. At the same time, they will be probably dealing with a thousand other things that need to be done. That means we need to partition or compartmentalize our plan so they can confidently be able to push or set aside everything that isn't critical in that moment. That is why we organize based on [time](./time.md) and we don't just make dense list of details to remember.
+
+## Tenant Three: Start Small
+
+Take your time doing this. Start small, write down only a few key things as you think about it, and then let it go for a while. Come [back later](./review.md) and add more information as you go.